When your wife leaves you for a older man!

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Ok here comes a huge @#%$ rant! I'm a long time lurker but never posted. Our relationship was really great at the start, and for 3 years, after that we decided to get married! Well more of she forced it, it was marriage or she would not go the next step and get a place together. I said ok, I really loved her and decided that I could go to that huge leap.

So we get married and move in a apartment together. three years go by. Now we all know that all relationships have fights, and we did fight, I would say about once a month about something or another, but we would make up the next day max. Well she always hated that I played EQ so she decided to try it. Well she ends up racking more hours then I had, even though I had played for the entire time of our relationship. She lost her job twice during the time we were married, and then I lost mine.

I'm sure as you can tell this would make a stressful situation. She would not make a move to get a new job, as she said the more I prodded her to do so, the more she procrastinated. So I let her go for a month without saying a word and still no attempt whatsoever to get a job (we are losing money fast and without her getting a job we would no longer be able to afford our apartment.)

Her Biggest gripe with me was that I would not get her pregnant.(she has been wanting a baby ever sence she was nine. I told her once we got a little older and had more money/steady jobs we would.) She had threatened me with divorce if I did not (We are way too young/not enough money to support a child) and she knew someone that would get her pregnant if I did not.
Now this was our biggest fight ever (the only non-trivial topic we fought about) Now after we got that out of the way she said that what she said was a lie! but alas no it was truth she spoke.

Back to her playing everquest. A friend of hers had given her guild leadership of a small guild in the game. She changed the rules around and made her friend co-leader of the guild. He called our apartment at least twice a day. Now he is a manic depressive and would call when he was depressed. She feigned that she didn't like him calling but instead she was plotting leaving me to go to him RIGHT UNDER MY @#%$ NOSE! come the most devilish of holidays, valentines day. We got snowed in and it was very romantic and it seemed as though we were having a golden age of our relationship.

Well four days later we are watching a movie, can't recall the name but it was about a guy who's wife was cheating on him (how fitting) She stops it in the middle and tells me she is leaving me and getting a divorce. She said she couldn't stand not telling me anymore. Her plan was to do a dear john move but could not face up to it. She had been gathering all her stuff saying she was sorting it out to give to good will but infarct she was packing. (Yet another addition to her long list of lies) So now I'm pissed and walk out of the apartment and walk around so I can cool down before I blow up. I come back about 15 minutes later and she is completely packed.

Now the car is under two feet of snow and she goes out to dig it out. I try to ask her to stay, doing everything in my desperation including begging. Well she would not of been able to get the car unstuck if it was not for these two guys who saw us digging, and used this huge shovel and get our car free. Then she guilt trips me to help her pack the car (How @#%$ diabolical is that?! asking me to help her move to another guys one bedroom apartment.) she took the $200 we had made cleaning my parents house for a few weeks. She took her cat but she did leave me the dog.

Now this guy who she is now enroute to go get had called me friend, I had talked with him on the phone and played together with him on EQ(the co-leader of her guild). He lives in California and she is driving there in our car that we needed to get the breaks fixed. He is in the navy ( I hope he gets sent to Iraq) and has only one bed and no couch/other thing to sleep on. So you all know what she will be doing.

Now she always hated it if I ever fell into a depression. She would get mad at me for it, now this guy is a manic depressive and what the hell does she expect hes going to do? she has been planing this for over two months and has only known him for about four months. She never exchanged pictures or anything like that. (shes a bit overweight)

The car was our only car and is under my name. Ill be still paying for it but I refuse to do so. She will pay for it or I will remove her from allowed drivers. (the deed is in my name only) I removed her from my conjoined account so she couldn't take what remained of our money. So she has $200 to make it to California from Maryland. She is also a pretty bad driver so I do fear for her safety, but I am NOT going to fund her trip to go @#%$ another guy. now mind you we both are 22 and he is 30, and never really had a girlfriend or anything so what do you expect hes going to want?

I also deactivated the cell phone as its $2.30 a min out of state.
I feel kind of bad about doing so but she is the one who left me.

So here I am left alone in my apartment of three years and it still reeks of her. I have not slept in three days and have barely eaten a thing. I wont be able to afford this place in about two months, and I really dread having to move back in with my parents after being seemingly so successfully.

Its ironic that she did it on this day, as my best friend lost his girlfriend to a olderman as well exactly one year before!

I am glad however that she did this now, I'm still young and this could of happened 5-10 years down the line.

to quote how I'm feeling, a verse from my now favorite song by blind guardian

Good choice?
Bad choice?
Out of there
You've chosen misery
Power and wisdom
You deny
Bad choice

War is the only answer
When love will conquer fear
So the judgement's been made to the fairest
The graceful says badly he fails

Warning
Fear the heat of passion, father king
Don't let him in
Don't let her in
Desire, lust, obsession
Death they'll bring
We can't get out
Once they are in

She's like the sunrise
Outshines the moon at night
Precious like starlight
She will bring in a murderous price

In darkness grows the seed of man's defeat
Jealousy
I can clearly see the end now

Darlic 59 rogue (retired)
Gadwin Orlose 30 ranger

[EZ_Lemac Dushae]

Report the car stolen.

Tell the new boyfriend that you did so he can tell her when she gets there.

Move out to a smaller place, or at least short term it with your parents. They will understand that you got screwed over. Odds are pretty good they didn't like her anyway.

Don't ever take her back no matter how much she begs, because you know she will.

When she calls, it's not your baby she's carrying.

Live in peace without her, she'll get what she deserves. -- Lemac Dushae
59th Season Blackguard
Fennin Ro

[EZ_Synrax]

This is weird. A very similar thing happened to this young couple on Fennin Ro. Gives me the creeps after reading your story.

[EZ_Kinare]

Yes, Lemac is right. If you say "I am not paying for the car" and then "the car is in my name," who do you think the bank is going to look for when you stop paying? The ex who took your car?

I don't think so.

They will come after YOUR butt. Report it stolen.

[EZ_patofnaud]

Hate to say it lad, and I usually don't respond to these posts,,

But you were in a bad unhealthy relationship a LOOOONG time before she left..

She coerced you into marriage.
She was forcing you to have a kid. (Thank the lord you didnt or you would be paying support for the other guys kid)
She was plotting behind you back for ages.
Neither of you sound resopnsible enough for the situation you put yourselves into.

Walk away.

Get out from under the car (either report it stolen or get her name put on the title).

Move out.

Forget her.

If you ever take her back, you'll spend the rest of your days pondering all the crap she has done. FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

You sound young. Get your act together, and find some NICE girl who is not a psycho hose-beast.

<----- Older aged wisdom talking.

[EZ_Gyorg]

I agree. Take her completely off the car and report it stolen. Cancel everything of hers in your name. Start looking for a cheaper apartment. And, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TAKE HER BACK! There is zero chance she won't come back. And if you let her, it'll happen again. Your both young, and she's obviously stupid.

And the kid's not yours. This guy's going to knock her up, their going to live piecefully for like 2 months, their going to fight another 10, she'll leave him in a year.

[EZ_DreebleK]

Heya:

There's another rant about people posting the exact same thoughts as others, but I think it might be okay here...

As Gyorg and Lemac said, she'll be calling asking then begging to come back. Have a pin near your phone so you can jab yourself with it when she does to remind yourself of how you feel now and how she _made_ you feel. Don't take her back.

I totally didn't think of the pregnancy thing, but that sounds likely, too. I'm thinking a paternity test is in your future. I'm not sure about the car thing and what the "right" thing to do there is. It certainly isn't right that you pay for it, of course.

In another vaguely similar thread quite a while back, I suggested to the protagonist (hehe) to treat the ex as a stranger: that is, with respect, but always at a distance and ignoring as much as possible and _not_ in an evil way. Don't seek revenge (if you're feeling any anger), just seek harmony in a life that should _never_ include her again.

Good luck,
Dreeble

[Trolo]

Dreeb, that other thread sounds like Solanar. Oh the woes this board has faced.

You're only 22 man. You have so much of your life ahead of you. She was nice enough to leave while you still have 8 years of your 20's. Go be your own person and forget about women until you're 30. Most especially, forget about her. If she calls, pretend you don't know who you're talking to and then hang up. Do not take her back, whatever you do. She's a parasite, it's obvious enough.

Good luck man, you seem to have a rough situation. But again, you're only 22, vital, vibrant, versatile--go make the best of a Catch-22. We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves. Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs. Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

[Brelkor]

heheh theres a difference between knee jerk responces and heart felt ones :p

Heck if i were you i'd change phone numbers and everything also.

Oh, and quit playing EQ!!

That really sucks but your still young. Brelkor the Blackhammer, The Masta Back Stabba, retired rogue

"Switching to less expensive toilet paper is not an acceptable method of cost cutting."[i]
The Darkhold
[i]

[EZ_TribalGeek]

Report the car stolen or get it changed into her name. Other wise when no payments bank will be after you. Hell even if they dont get the car if its on the record that its stolen I doubt the bank is gonna make you pay. Don't take her back just don't bad idea. Bad things man.


You got the rest of your life ahead of you now go have some fun. American by birth.
Southerner by the grace of God.

[EZ_pulid]

I say good riddance. Cancel her phone, cancel her bank account. Consider it over, and move on.

[Jhani Vandolay]

I'm not certain on this, but you may have to wait until you can demand she return the car and refuses to report it stolen without facing backlash for malicious prosecution. If (read: when) the cops find out not only did you know she took it, but helped her pack and dig it out, a stolen car report is not going to look good for you, legally. Don't let her stick it to you, but don't shoot yourself in the foot either. Not to claim the status of a "real professional" in any one endeavor has been a small price to pay for the many benefits and pleasures of trespassing. ~Leo Lionni

[Loreleli]

do whatever you can DO TO NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YTHAT CAR. I'd lie my head off - no I didn't help her, I though she was dropping stuff off at good will and going grocery shopping.

I'd also not say anything thru e-mail or phone without consulting an attorney.

Report her leaving as desertion. My brother didn't, he lost his house & kids. Be glad you don't have that, but as you are still leaggly married, she'll use your name to get stuff - we still get stuff to our house in my ex-sis in laws name - she never lived in our state! f'ing b*(&%$

Beg your parents for help with the divorce. Be glad it's over now and not 10 years down the road. My brother was married 11 years and 2 kids. His ex was a real piece of work. I'd be soooo banned if I really expressed how I felt about her...

I'd never consider taking back someone who left me for another - it's all downhill - they have all the "power" - they know you'll take their shyte and smile. It's about respect - self respect and the signifigant other respecting you, she didn't show this.

Enjoy your 20s and find out who and what you want to be and do it. Right now it feels like she ripped ya apart, but you can get past it.

Best wishes!

Lore

[Nenjin]

Quote:Its ironic that she did it on this day, as my best friend lost his girlfriend to a olderman as well exactly one year before!

It's a proven fact that when the females go, they go in droves.

Quote:I am glad however that she did this now, I'm still young and this could of happened 5-10 years down the line.

Way to find the good in all this. I'll just re-iterate what everyone else has said.

DONT TAKE HER BACK

[Dorla]

Yeah.... reiterating what has already been said:

- Report the car as stolen. I'm really not sure how the police will handle it, since you're married, but it's best to report it now anyways. Are you in a Community Property state? That might make a difference.

Quote:And the kid's not yours. This guy's going to knock her up, their going to live piecefully for like 2 months, their going to fight another 10, she'll leave him in a year.

Exactly what Gyorg said... you can pretty much bet this will happen. Don't take her back!!!!

Oh, and get a lawyer. You might need one, you might not... better to err on the side of caution. Also, do you know if she filed for divorce before she left? I doubt she can file in California.... I'm thinking you have to file in your state of residence, but I could be wrong. In any case, you might consider filing the papers yourself. Then you can put for reason: "My wife is Bat!@#$ Insane".

In any case.. good luck to you. You'll pull through.


Edit: Helped the swear filter... that one got through, lol Edited by: DorlaStincfinger at: 2/22/03 2:11:24 pm

[EZ_AarkadySK]

She can only file for divorce in the county/state she is residing in. So if she changes her D/L when she gets to California, she can file in California.

I'm sorry this had to happen man, as I know the pain all too well. I was younger when it happened though (19).

Good luck to you, and remember, you have your whole life in front of you. It hurts, but in the end, you'll be happier than you have ever been before.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Wow, I must thank everyone here for your kind replies. I have already done my research about divorce, luckily since she already took what she wanted and she has as they called it, abandoned me. Though the nights are lonely as hell you guys are right, whatever happens I CAN NOT take her back. Another thing that is amusing is that when we met, she had just had someone leave her for a older women and so we became good friends, then started dating. I have already closed the bank account and turned off the phone (did that yesterday) luckily she did not empty it before she left.

My parents have been very supportive about this, ever since the whole thing about her wanting to get pregnant or divorce my parents didn't really like it. My father said he is happy that she left as he thought she was holding me back from my full potential.

I have two choices here for the divorce, I can get a annulment what makes it as if the marriage never happened. Or I can get a real divorce which she has to be gone for at least one year (Maryland state law) the grounds for the annulment are that she wanted kids, and I did not (at least not yet anyway) and thank the gods that I did not!

[EZ_TribalGeek]

any difference in the outcome? If not get the quick one. American by birth.
Southerner by the grace of God.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Well the only difference in the outcome is that ill be "single" instead of "divorced" in the eyes of the state for the annulment. though its trivial, I have her EQ passwords and everything, very tempted on guildremoving the entire guild/deleting all her characters. I have however canceled both of her accounts off my billing as I will not fund anything for her. I doubt I would do the whole destroying of her eq stuff, even though it is so important to her (she would even cry when she died in it..gah that was annoying)

Also I should of suspected something was going on behind my back as when I would look over at her screen she would /who and spam the screen so I could not see what she was typing. makes it kind of hard to trust anyone again.

edit: I saw her say "I love you" on eqim and she covered it up with her hand saying I couldn't look. about 20 minutes later she told me about her leaving me. Edited by: Gadwin Orlose at: 2/22/03 3:37:57 pm

[EZ_Prenn]

If her accounts > value of car, ebay accounts and consider it fair. Brother Pren, Human Transcendent on The Tribunal Server
Officer: Mithril Heart Brigade
If I would shed my skin, the layers left,
But not the lessons learned
It would not undo what I have done
Or grant forgiveness in some better days to come

[Meddik]

At least she didn't take your dog.

With that, you would have had the beginnings of a great country Song.

[Loreleli]

dang Meddikk!

I'd soooo sell her account on ebay, but I'm an evil bytche...

Just be careful you don't get stuck with her debts - credit cards, etc. My brother had to pay half his ex' s credit debt. As for annullment vs divorce, I'd say annullment if required for religious purposes, but some criteria has to be meet for it to work:

1) married under age of consent
2) the spouse had different intentions when you were married - as in fraud, misleading you, lied, stuff like that, not criminal fraud
3) not mentally compident ( IQ, drugs, alcohol, etc)
4) never consumated the marriage


as you were married for 3 years, you'd have a tough time proving any of these. You're 22? so you were at least 18 when married.

Divorce should be fast as she deserted you, even if she contested it - just be firm and let judge or mediation know you have absolutely no chance at reconciling.

[EZ_Kinare]

*evil grin*


Sooo... EQ is important to her eh?

Hold them for ransom. Change the passwords, but do not delete anything. You were paying for the accounts, so technically they are not hers, they are yours.

If she gives you trouble... tell her that her character Sybian Cyberwhore gets the axe.

She will do what you want, if she is as addicted as you say. I guarentee it.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

hah what song is that meddik?
edit Nevermind i got what you meant heh


Also she comes from a very religious Famliy, her dad called me as her mom and brother are in Taiwan on a trip. Divorce just does not happen in her religion (southern bible baptist or something) and cheating like she will be doing is grounds for going to "hell"

Anyway her dad seemed very upset but said he will wait until the rest of them get back from there trip to tell them, im ratherly not looking forward to talking to her mom. Edited by: Gadwin Orlose at: 2/22/03 10:22:09 pm

[EZ_DreebleK]

Heya:

Trust me, I'm not going all Buddha here, but my advice is to be an upright man. Be just. What do I mean? Don't do any evil, even if it feels good. What you _did_, cancelling the accounts so you're no longer paying for them, was perfect. Thinking about ebaying stuff (or actually doing it) is smudging the harmony of your soul (ack, I'm going Buddha now! quick! wrap it up!). In summary, move forward and up to better things, letting nothing behind and below and in your past drag you into the muck.

Good luck,
Dreeble

[EZ_TribalGeek]

Don't sell the stuff. Just get on her charecter and do what ever you can to piss everyone off. Set up a guild message of the day to say that you can't get anywhere in the guild without sleeping with her and I am sure you can ruin that. Ohh and if you can wait go with the divorce. If not just grab the anulment. Just tell the judge you were coerced into marrying her. American by birth.
Southerner by the grace of God.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Ill admit that I have had thoughts of destroying the guild all together, but whenever I think of doing these kind of things, I feel bad. I don't want her to hate me. In my loneliness whenever I hear the door outside our apartment open I wish it was her coming back. My logical side tells me that this is a good thing, that she was useless and a waste of time and money, but my heart keeps reminding me of the good times we had, more so our honeymoon.

and the evil feeling in my stomach won't go away, it feels as if I'm digesting my heart.

edit: I also have the guys phone number/name. I so want to call him and just rant down on him, with his manic depression i'm sure I could make him feel like a complete @#%$.
but it is not my nature to be evil or mean like that, but then I think as of what she has done to me well.... Edited by: Gadwin Orlose at: 2/22/03 11:31:50 pm

[Jhani Vandolay]

If you screw with her char or guild in game, you'll only make her a martyr to her friends anyway, because with her new b/f still playing, he can easily explain that her jilted ex hijacked her account to slander her. You may not care about your own reputation, but I don't know if you want to make her seem like a victim to anyone.

[EZ_Prenn]

Hey, I only suggested ebaying if it would be a fair trade for the car...

She keeps something you need, you sell something she wants.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Well one way or another I have to get in contact with her to tell her I won't be paying for the car or its insurance. she said before she left that she would call me to see how I was doing..ha ! as if she @#%$ cared how I felt.
I could change her password before she got there. its a 2721.8 mile trip. so I would say 4 or more days, its been 3 now. She would have to call me to get the password again. What do you guys think?

[EZ_Kinare]

Quote:Well one way or another I have to get in contact with her to tell her I won't be paying for the car or its insurance. she said before she left that she would call me to see how I was doing..ha ! as if she @#%$ cared how I felt.
I could change her password before she got there. its a 2721.8 mile trip. so I would say 4 or more days, its been 3 now. She would have to call me to get the password again. What do you guys think?

OK so basically she took your car on a cross-nation road trip with YOUR car?

1) NOT paying for the car is not an option for you. If you do not pay for your car, then you will get in major trouble. You will get bad marks on your credit. People will call YOU and bug you for money. You NEED to pay for YOUR car, reguardless of who has it.

2) Change the passwords to your account(s) (this includes the account of YOURS that she was using). You paid for all of the accounts, according to your previous posts. They are yours, you just let her use one.

3) Since she has the car, and you have her account, she has to decide which is more important to her. She has a couple options:
a) Somehow someway, get your car back to you. She will pay for the transport, make it happen, teleport it... You don't care, as long as you get YOUR car back. In the meantime, keep mailing in those payments.
b) She can assume ownership of the car. Get this in writing, and make sure the bank knows. She will take over payments for the car.
c) She pays you in full for the remainder of the car's payments. Go to the bank, give them the money, get the title, send it to her.
d) She tells you to @#%$ off. Report the car stolen.

If a, b, or c happens, give her the account password. Make absolutely sure she has her character intact. DO NOT LOG IT IN EVEN. Leave it completely alone (unless she asks you to log in on, to see if it has all the stuff from her new guy's place, for instance).

Let me stress this again:

MAKE YOUR CAR PAYMENTS!

See above for reasoning. Also, as others have said before, get a lawyer. Remove her from the insurance, as you should not have to pay for her anymore.

Change the password man. If you change your mind, you can always change it back. Do it asap.

Good luck man.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Well that depends on if you count the account as mine or hers. she used her own debit card to pay for it, we had a joint account, but then again all the money that was coming in was all made by me.

I will be paying for the car ect until we come to a agreement as to what to do with it.

[EZ_Lady Kaylan]

Please listen to the folks here that have actually displayed some common sense (ie Kinare) and don't do anything to screw with her or her older man. While you'll get a very short term gratification from it, it WILL come back and bite you in the ass. Keep the revenge fantasies in your head, it's the best place for 'em

Figure out what she's going to do with the car (keep paying!) and once you know, take the proper action (transfer of name, report stolen, etc).

She really sounds like she's a few sandwiches short of a picnic, so make sure to talk to a lawyer ASAP and be sure to cover your ass in every conceivable manner.

And although you've heard if 500x already ... go out with some friends, watch some flicks, have some FUN ... before you know it you'll have her out of your system.

Good luck! Kaylan - Blademaster - Kay
Cranberries - Nightshade - Kay
Delusions - Bard - Kay

Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject...

[Jhani Vandolay]

I agree completely with Kinare's post above.

[Trolo]

And yet you're not agreeing with some witty quip towards the opposing side? What is the world coming to, Jhani?

[Nenjin]

Gerbils, with big spiked helmets, instead of pancakes on their heads.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Ok i have no idea what the post above this means but..

Heres a update as to what happend today. I changed her EQ passwords but im not going to log in or delete anything. I just want to use it as a communication line as she will call about that. But im affraid that I missed that call. On my caller I.D when i got back this evening was his name. Saddly I'm unable to acsesss my msgs as she always did it and never taught me how. ITS DRIVNG ME INSANE! I have to wait till tommrow to call verison to get the password for it..sigh.

Edit: Got the password, but to no avile, just other msgs by him and others.. GODS THE ONES BY HIM MAKE ME WANT TO RIP HIS SPINE OUT! Edited by: Gadwin Orlose at: 2/24/03 2:18:51 am

[EZ_Prenn]

From the sound of it, he hasn't got one to rip out.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Well found out shes there now. Logged in one of her chars to check the motd and it says that she and the one she went to see are back. They act as if what they did was like saving her from the devil.

[Loreleli]

some people are just mentally twisted or need drama to survive. It makes their mundane lives seem to have "meaning."

Don't let their childish crap get to you.

She has to live the fantasty, becuase realizing the relationship with a mentally ill person is hard, means she made a mistake, most people can't own up to it.

Believe me, she f'ed up. I dated a guy who had to have meds 3x a day or he was wacko. Later on, I couldn't sleep in same room with him - I couldn't trust him not to wig out and hurt me - not that he'd want to , but he had bad mood swings and said some really weird shyte when he was in them - delusional state, out of touch with reality.

I also realized if we ever married & had kids, I could never trust him alone with a baby ( we both wanted to get married & have kids)

Be strong and grow from this. 8 years later, my brother is remarried and they are expecting a child in 1 1/2 months. Second marriage for both of them.

Best part to me is my brother's wife is 11 years younger than his 1st wife & I know that has to bug his ex - as she was older than my brother and very vain, muhahahah.

The best revenge is a good life, but to all the sanctamonious peeps here - you gonne give him a car to drive?

let us know, thnx

there's no moral high ground in divorce, geeez. Not everything in life is so easily black and white. Edited by: Loreleli at: 2/24/03 7:49:28 am

[Jhani Vandolay]

"but to all the sanctamonious peeps here - you gonne give him a car to drive?"

For the life of me, I don't see a single post here advising him to just let her keep the car.. perhaps you meant something else?

[EZ_Kinare]

Yay! you did it! Now we need hourly updates.

[EZ_Kinare]

Also, Change the password to your message thingy. SHe will still check it.

[Dragynphyre]

Me and my boyfriend know another couple who plays EQ

The wife left her husband for another EQ player. The husband MADE her come back - he wouldn't give her custody of her child, and said that the only way she'd ever see her child again is if she moved back in (he is not the biological father of this child, but legally adopted her)

She hates her husband's guts, but has to pretend so that she can stay with her child. Add to this the fact that she is also in the same EQ guild as her husband leads...

Sheesh...and it's not just EQ, but all sorts of Internet communication, that has broken up many a marriage... Haunting The Rathe for 3 Years Straight:
Baroness Delissandra Splitshadow - Half-Elven Assassin - For Hire
Grandmaster Poisoner (250), Master Potter (183), Grandmaster Lush (200)

"Society produces rogues, and education makes one rogue cleverer than another." - Oscar Wilde

[EZ_patofnaud]

Aye don't do anyting to F with him or her that she can use against you. If it goes to court, you'd be surprised at how courts can take the simplist shite and twist it against you...

You: You're honour, she sleeps with other guys.
Judge: /yawn
You: But she took my car!
Judge: Oh, wasn't she married to you?
You: Yes.
Judge: /yawn
Her: Ya judge and he called it in stolen.
Judge: WTF?! 90 days in the slammer for false police report!
Her: Ya judge and he sold all my toons on EBay!
Judge: Hang em!

[EZ_Pedric Cuf]

I'm afraid I can't offer any better advice than has already been given, but I wanted to wish you good luck. Only piece of advice I can give is to do what you've been doing. As Kaylan said, just keep the revenge fantasys in your head. You're doing well though. Keep it up.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

HUGE update here
she called..well she said that she got lost when I turned off the phone, and she tried to take money out of the bank. He took a plane to the city she was at and drove with her the rest of the way there. She said she hasn't done anything with him yet, and has a couch to sleep in. She said she won't have sex with him until we get the divorce. He also wants to buy the car from me.. heh

She said her reason for leaving me was that we fought too much. (I agree with this) But that does not excuse her for going straight into another guys arms. seems hes rich.. heh

[EZ_patofnaud]

"She said she won't have sex with him until we get the divorce. "



I am sorry, but you know how once every couple days ya read something that makes you burst out laughing at work? This one made me laugh.

I'm a guy, your a guy, and we both know that if the tables were turned and I had some woman (married, single or cripple) living in my place, sleeping on my couch, using my shower, you would have to be Ghandi to not be hitting on her like a like a Great White Shark on a Harbor Seal off Catalina 7x24.

[Jhani Vandolay]

"She said she won't have sex with him until we get the divorce." = "I don't want to give you any ammo (ie: adultery) to use against me in the divorce."

[EZ_solesk]

the worst thing you can do to their relationship is to be honorable. ANYTHING you do that's mean or spitefull or in revenge will only driver her farther into his arms. and in the process make his job easier. all he has to do is listen at that point.

but if your on the up and up she has nothing to complain about. making his job harder. and when she finally starts to see his flaws (lust is blind) she'll remember how good you treated her, not how evil you were. not that you want her back. but her wanting you back and hating him is much better revenge.

as far as the car thing goes i'd consult a lawyer. or call the police and ask what policy on something like that is. as far as her eq chars go. i'd give them to her. by keeping them from her your only creating the possibilty of something she can bring up in a divorce court.

and get a divorce. if her family is as religious as you say that will hurt her more than anything while still keeping you legally safe.

and like the others have said. the baby isnt yours. she obviously wants a kid. and if this guy is as manic depressive as you say he'll surly give in to her. they always do. my mom is manic depressive and she can be talked into pretty much anything.

[Dragynphyre]

Ok, I'd go ahead and sell the car to this guy, make sure he sends you the cashier's check before you change over the title. Do not take the money and then not change over the title, no matter how much your roguish heart wants to.

Your woman sounds very immature, IMO. Was not even mature enough to sit down, discuss your problems, etc. Just left one day, without you even telling you why she was leaving...

She just decided that 'the grass is greener' and went running off to what she thinks is going to be a better relationship (with a manic-depressive/bipolar as one of the partners in the relationship, that's just not going to happen, unless some miracle of true love 'fixes' him.)

And read the saga of Solanar's plight, sounds very similar to yours.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

well she said that she left me due to the fights and that she did not love me anymore. but how the %(#(^ do you love another person in two months?

Aye I read sol's posts, it does seem very simular to mine. As to the no sex intill the divorse, if she feels anything left about me then I do belive she would do so, at least I hope as that was eatting me alive. Edited by: Gadwin Orlose at: 2/24/03 2:23:07 pm

[EZ_Lemac Dushae]

On the upside, you can now charge pretty much whatever you want for your old POS car. They suddenly don't want to buy it? Okay, drive it back here or the cops hear about it.

I'm not saying you should be spiteful, just that you have an opportunity to at least make some money and get a better car.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

well, she knows how much is left on it, $1900 so theres no point in asking for more. Its falling apart though, they can have it heh. its a dodge probe 94 and its breaks are going bad

[EZ_TribalGeek]

Dude take the money and go buy a better car. Even if its used. American by birth.
Southerner by the grace of God.

[EZ_Peebs]

94 Ford Probe you mean

[EZ_kidkod1ak]

Keep a written record, including times and dates of all previous events, and any future contact with her. Because one thing is certain, your gonna end up in court before all is said and done. Varner Rapscallion
Lord Protector of Kaladim, on Cazic-Thule

[Caowyth]

Quote:Do not take the money and then not change over the title, no matter how much your roguish heart wants to.

Unless he sends you cash, in which case you're golden. =)

Cao

[Lilum]

That's approaching pure evil Caowyth, and I love it.

All the advice that's been given so far is pretty good. Don't take her back, sell him the car, yada yada yada.

I just think it's too bad you two couldn't have at least talked and worked it out before she left either by yourselves or with a therapist. My advice for any future relationships it TALK to each other, know when you can't solve your own problems and don't be too proud to ask for help when you've come to that realization.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Oh do I ever wish we could of talked about it/got counceling. I feel like the lowest scum on earth right now

[EZ_Andurian]

You = Victim
She = scum

[EZ_Blaze ODead]

Just remember man, she obviously feels nothing towards you, don't give her pity (but yet don't do something bad). Make them pay more for the car if they will. Start high. You owe neither of those people anything.

(I know someone said this already! )

[Pratell]

I'd just to like to add my support. Having this happen to anyone sucks, and I'm glad you're still sticking to your guns.

Another thing I'd like to say is, I had something entirely different to me, although the premise was the same in that I could totally screw the other person over. All I can say is, don't do it. As the entire thing went through it's course, I tried to do as much of it as honorably as I could. When it was over and done, I felt at least a hundred times better. It was one of the rare instances in my life that I have utterly felt like a good person, and I think it changed the rest of my life forever, and as a person, I feel that I grew a few figurative feet.

So keep steadfast in whatever you choose. When this is all over, you'll realize (if you haven't by now) that you still have 80 years left to find the right person, who will make you happy. And happiness, I think, is the best thing anyone can experience.

[EZ_Iscin]

First off, DONT TAKE HER BACK!

Secondly, I really have to agree with DreebleK and Pratell. Rise above revenge. I have learned there can be more reasons for this than simply being a good guy.

If you got revenge you might feel guilty (you seem like a nice person so I'm guessing you would).

She seems good at getting what she wants, and this unresolved guilt could be used as a tool to get you back.

I speak from recent experience here. Good luck man.

^Iscin^

[EZ_Kinare]

Is the car worth more or less than $1,900 (or whatever you said was left on the loan)? If it is worth more, you are entitled to more. I don't know what I would do about the EQ accounts... if you really believe she will buy the car from ya, I would. If she is a nice person in spite of this (ie not manipulative or a compulsive liar) then I regret suggesting this in the first place =p

Have you contacted a lawyer yet? I would not be surprised at all to find that she is getting a California residency as soon as possible. I am not at all sure what is involved with that though. Keep in mind, Cali is a community property state (ie she gets half your stuff).

Her saying she won't have sex with the other guy until the divorce... if it takes a year (Maryland law you said), I seriously doubt she is telling the truth.

As others have said, keep a log of what happens. Write down what was said in telephone conversations.

Do not go on some cheesy one night stand and/or drunken binge. This will not help you. I have a feeling you wouldn't do something like this. Usually only women use sex as a weapon to get back at someone.

You can do this. It cuts at your heart, you are depressed as all hell, but give it a while. Thicken your skin to her... and you do not necessarily have to demonize her to do this.

The absolute best thing to do in any situation... Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

[Nymm]

Just remember, if he actually is in the Navy adultery is still punishable under the UCMJ. - Nymm
Prexus, Assassin, 1 ea.

[EZ_Gnarwar Floatingbuffalo]

get yourself a copy of the song "no children" by the mountain goats. very fitting imo for your situation.

[EZ_Geidon]

Dashboard confessionals - the brilliant dance...good song here.

Sorry about your demonic bitch you got stuck with, your much better without her. Just go out and be 22 and get yourself a peice and forget her she isn't worth the time of the day. She will hate this guy after a while BTW if he truely is bi-polar. I'm willing to bet the whole depression scheme was made up so he could call her and have you not get overly worried. I don't think he would be in the navy if he was that messed up. I had a GF who was bi-polar who ended up sleeping with one of my best friends and then they actually ended up going out...so for revenge I went over one day and just put moves on and she caved in and we had sex for like 2 weeks into their relationship and wow it was sweet revenge and yes it felt good and still feels good...so yes revenge can feel good, just need to have no compassion for humans like I do

[EZ_Kinare]

[Elerion]

Kinare make picture best Penny I make happy laugh

[EZ_Kinare]

Just FYI, don't follow Geidon's advice. That is probably the worst advice I have ever heard. Let's break it down for people who have trouble reading bad grammar and punctuation:

1) Go have sex with someone else to forget about your ex. "Be 22" probably also refers to heavy partying and drinking.

2) Geidon thinks the depresson/bi-polar disorder is made up and that the Navy wouldn't let anyone in who had such problems. Maybe the problems happened after he joined the Navy? That is possible.

3) Geidon had a bi-polar gf who cheated on him, so for revenge (against the friend I guess) he slept with her for 2 weeks.

4) Sex as revenge feels good to Geiddon.

Yanno, most people use sex as revenge by having sex with other people. Now, if you had screwed your best friend as revenge, maybe that would be something =p

Back to the situation at hand...

That guy wouldn't happen to be named Dave would it? I have a bi-polar friend in the Navy... hehe.

[EZ_Swipey]

Davey? Whos still in the Navy? And probably will be for life?

[EZ_Urusai]

If his last name is Jones I think I know where his locker is at?

[EZ_Kinare]

LOL *smile* you guys are funny! (looks aren't everything though)

/rimshot

[EZ_Geidon]

Heh I kinda wrote that post as I was really pissed of at a girl myself and your right don't have sex to get over the girl and use it as revenge either. I still however do belive the guy made up his depression so he could call your wife and keep the wool pulled over your eyes the whole time. Seems like a perfect plan, get you to trust him and call you to help him get over rough days and you will trust your wife with him. Bam worked like a charm, now I know i'm a total cynic but it seems to make a lot of sense in my head.

[EZ_Geidon]

Also if that picture was for me, I don't see any major grammatical errors in the post. I'm no english major here but it seems to be perfectly readable and correctly structured to me. Please tell me where there is a grammar mistake.

[EZ_Kinare]

I don't mean to be anal or anything (but I know I am):

Quote:I had a GF who was bi-polar who ended up sleeping with one of my best friends and then they actually ended up going out...so for revenge I went over one day and just put moves on and she caved in and we had sex for like 2 weeks into their relationship and wow it was sweet revenge and yes it felt good and still feels good.

This is a run on. This is what I had problems with.

How's it going now Gadwin?

[EZ_Bereave Dungarde]

What's the status now Gadwin?

You have alot of readers here pulling for you and would love to see another update soon, mostly just to know if you're alright. The first few weeks are murder on your emotions - hang in there and someday you'll appreciate the strength you've gained from the whole experience.

[EZ_Kinare]

Yes, and I must know what the guy's first name is... or if it isn't Dave =p that would do it for me.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Well heres a update as to whats happened. We canceled her netflix (my parents got that for her for Christmas) and she called saying that we can't hurt her and to go ahead and report the car as stolen. Why the hell should we pay for her entertainment? She said she wants to make payments for the car to me, but do you think I want to see this guys name on a check every month? I told her to get a loan from a bank and make payments there, as $1900 is a very very good deal on that car. I don't seek to gain from this, as I know when the divorce happens, she will have to pay half of all my bills. and guess what? She doesn't have a job, and could not even get a simple cashier job to pay for our bills when we were together.

Now a few nights ago she called crying about her EQ accounts, giving me a huge sob story about how this is all my fault. In my depression and loneliness hoping that this was a test to get her back, I gave them back to her (I REALLY wish I did not. I want to tell her, If I really wanted to hurt her, I would of deleted all her characters, and destroyed her guild.)
I dream of her every night, dreams of her laying down next to me and saying that she wish she had never done that, and dreams of the two of them @#%$. I wish they would stop as they are destroying me.

Even though she has done all this, I still miss her and I still love her. Love is not something that is that easy to just throw away, when I said those vows at our wedding, I meant them. for better or worse, till death do us part.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Kinare:
His name is william.

[EZ_Kinare]

I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this, and I really hope you have gotten a lawyer by now. Her way of paying the car payments, payments which are still in your name, sounds like a good way to scam you. Keep fighting to get the car totally out of your realm of responsibility. You should be able to wake up one day and know that is one less thing for you to worry about.

She truly sounds manipulative. I would never in my life dream of doing this to another person. I can't believe others are so callous and uncaring, and I would never wish someone like her on anyone.

I am relieved that the guy isn't the person I am thinking of Dave was a good friend, but he was a nut too. If it was dave, though, I would have called him and slapped him upside the head really hard.

Maybe this guy will get deployed. I bet that will teach him about how faithful she is and how much she values his relationship with her. A deployment tests a marriage in many ways. If you are faithful to your spouse there is usually no problems, but any tendency toward unfaithfulness is easily rooted out. Those relationships don't last long at all.

/tangent off...

Good luck man. /hug

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

heh, i can't afford a lawyer sadly. I have been doing my research. She said she wants a annulment and the only way she is getting that is if she says she wanted kids and I did not (and this be true) Infact I can not afford any bill other then my apartment, as she took the cash we had for the other bills. If you want to hear, I can tell everyone about all the crazy stuff she had done, and the things that should of rose a red flag and told ME to get out of the relationship. Edited by: Gadwin Orlose at: 3/4/03 10:02:42 am

[EZ_CalisTheEdehel]

Get your head checked.

If you love a woman that treated you like that, you need help asap.

[EZ_Urusai]

Dude, as long as you let her pull you along she wont realize what she's doing. She still has you for support as far as she's concerned. She seems to want to get involved with the new guy so that she gets what she wants. But she dosn't want to have somthing to fall back on. That way if the new guy dosent work out she can always apologize and come back. Dont let her do that, cut her loose and let her stew in her own decision. If she had at least confronted you with the options before packing up and leaving I would say some compassion would be in order, but she offered none. It kind of reminds me of a all-the-time-drunk husband an physically abused wife but the wife wont leave because its-his-method-of-affection.
Love is a two way street, if both lanes are going the same direction then youll never meet in the middle.

/attempt to lighten the mood
If thats what you intrested in though there are probably a few shops in back allys. You know the kind, they always have the large orders of latex and leather. Just follow the sounds of the chains and screams.
/close

[EZ_Nyssa Rainwhisper]

She'll play you for everything you've got from materialistic things to feelings. Be strong and let her go. The more you hang on the more she'll screw you over. Sometimes relationships work out and sometimes they don't. Just be glad it happened before you 2 had kids and you're left to explain it to them.

[Mardoc the Dwarf]

I know some people, if you need help.......Uncle Sizgetti doesn't look to kindly on adultery...

[Nenjin]

Quote: I gave them back to her (I REALLY wish I did not. I want to tell her, If I really wanted to hurt her, I would of deleted all her characters, and destroyed her guild.)


Sorry, but I have to do this.


/bitchslap


Believe me, I know what it means to still love someone that used you and coldly dumped you on your ass, but man, if she manages to get out of your life(or you manage to get her out of it) down the road you too will be wanting to slap yourself for the sick delusions that love sometimes places on us.

Love is reciprocated. When it isn't, the one who is still "in love" is more obsessed, or dependent. Spare yourself the self-loathing this realization causes, and get her completely out of your life. That means not giving a @#%$(even though you still do), not helping her with what she needs or wants(even though you still want to), and above all, stop entertaining ideas of going back to her(even though you do). She may torture your dreams for a long time to come, but eventually, you come around to realizing you had a life before she got there, and you still have one now that she is gone.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

its not that I love her for what she did, I love the illusion that I had. I remember one time when she got married to this guy in EQ and that hurt me. That was one of the few times that she was sorry for what she did, and said that she would never do anything like that again. I can't help but think of those words as she cried to me about it.

Just two weeks ago she was my wife and everything seemed ok, and now shes off with another guy whom I knew and called friend. Jealousy is a evil thing because I know what he is doing with , just a few weeks ago was someone I thought truly loved me. so its not her I mourn, its the illusion and lies she fed me that I mourn. Edited by: Gadwin Orlose at: 3/5/03 3:51:05 am

[EZ_Kinare]

Not to use you as an example, Gadwin, but this proves my theory. (I know this is not an original idea.)

As much as people protest, I think the way they act in game is their true personality (roleplaying excepted of course).

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

I agree Kinare. What I just do not understand is that she said I spent too much time on the computer, but yet while I was at work or out, guess what she was doing? She had two accounts both with one 63 character. Yet mine highest is 59. umm yeah I play more heh. All she would talk about was her guild, even when we were not playing.

Other things that made her crazy are:
1) she has always wanted to be raped because she wanted a baby so badly, I guess thats why she had no problems going to do this dudes house, prolly hoped that he would rape her.
2)she thinks that Im going to pay for her, while she is with him. Why in the nine hells am I going to keep paying for her crap while shes with another guy? Does anyone here think that I should? I hope not heh.
Shes left me with a lot of bills that soon I will be unable to pay for, a lot of them are just in her name, not mine. I wonder if I really have to pay for them or would they come after me if they can't contact her?

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Also, about the car.
The tags are expired now, as we needed to get a emissions test last month, but never did so the old plates are now expired. It also turns out that the insurance for the car might of been canceled in December (yet another bill she did not pay) No word from her in the last few days, I'm guessing she will be trying not to pay for the car and avoid all her bills.

DMV says I can't report the car as stolen, but I haven't talked to the police yet. I don't want to until I have no other option, though it feels nice to think if that guy was driving it (He is the one who wants it as its better then his truck he drives) got stopped by a cops due to the tags and asked for license and reg...and wow thats not my name on the license heh

[Lilum]

Quote: she has always wanted to be raped because she wanted a baby so badly

This is just proof that this woman, has no grasp on reality.

[EZ_Urusai]

Thats just messed up. She wants a baby so bad that she wants raped?! She may as well go buy a Hobo a hamburger and say F-Me for it.

[Jhani Vandolay]

"Shes left me with a lot of bills that soon I will be unable to pay for, a lot of them are just in her name, not mine. I wonder if I really have to pay for them or would they come after me if they can't contact her?"

When bill collectors call/write, just give them her new address and phone number (his), and possibly her parent's # too, just for the hell of it. You're not responsible for anything that your name isn't on, and don't ever imply to any of the companies that you'd think you would be. They'll try to get whatever $ they can when they think they've been skipped out on, so don't open a door for them to stick their foot in.

About the rape thing, that sounds like something said to spite you. Seriously.

[EZ_Salyvan]

The DMV said you couldn't report it as stolen!? ROFL

They're nothing but a bunch of idiots anyway! Hell, if you ask a question of three different people at the DMV you usually get four different answers.

The fact is the car isn't in her name and she TOOK it. It's stolen. Call the police and report it as stolen. Call the insurance company and report it as stolen. Call the bank and report it as stolen. Heck, the bank might even send a repo man to get it back for you if you give them the address...

Whatever you do don't let her make payments through you. She WILL at some point not send you the money one month and you'll have to end up paying for it... believe me, she knows this and is tryin to use you...


Salyvan Ticklefingers - A dangerous toy. This toy is being made for the extreme priority the good looks. The little part which suffocates when the sharp part which gets hurt is swallowed is contained generously. Only the person who can take responsibility by itself is to play.

[EZ_Arakyd]

From one soft-hearted sincere person to another: fight it Gadwin. It will drag you under if you let it. It is an insidious, creeping thing, and it will eat you alive, as you are already feeling. It's very easy to be cold and calculating in giving advice to someone you don't know over the Internet, but it's another thing altogether to be cold and calculating when you are the one who has feelings for someone.

But be cold you must. Do anything you can to avoid situations that let you dwell on what happened and on what you feel. Do stuff with friends, a hobby, anything to get your mind off her. It's not easy and it's not fast, but it can be done and it must be done if you value your own identity. You cannot allow your feelings for another person to control you. You will be exploited, manipulated and controlled by people who care less than you, or are just unaware of other's feelings. You can't make yourself unaware without being self-destructive, so you must make yourself consciously care less. Remember, cold is power.

Obviously this is much easier said that done, it's best to do it before you get manipulated like this, not after. It takes effort, and it takes time, a lot of time. But do it you must, in any way that you can. Don't harm yourself by trying to harm her, don't give her what she wants if it hurts you. Do not act out of feelings for her. Be cold.

This kind of thing hasn't happened to me, but I've gotten just enough of a taste to know how I must work on making sure it never does. People like you and me aren't born cold enough for this world Gadwin, so we must work harder. I wish you luck.

[Lilum]

As far as the bills are concerned an anullment might be your best bet. When you get a divorce you were married and you assume half the resonsibility, and rewards of everything. If you would have won the lottery and gotten a divorce she would be entitled to half. If you rack up $10,000 in debt and get divorced she is resonsible for half the dept. If you get an annulment and it's as if the marriage never happened then I don't think you would be responsible for her debt.

Talk to a lawyer concerning this.

[Dragynphyre]

An annullment is only a dissolution of the religious part of the marriage. You'd still have to get the legal divorce as well, as I understand it.

My dad asked my mom for an annullment a few years after their divorce...she said nope, she'd already paid for the divorce. It costs about $2,000 in the RC church to get an annullment.

[EZ_Kinare]

Force the divorce man! If you read the Bible, if a woman gets a divorce and she marries another man, she is committing adultery =p

[EZ_Durden]

Man, I've been reading this and following it for the last week or so. A couple of things come to mind.

1) Do not try to contact her for ANY reason, but to get/receive payment for your car or any other bill logistics. Any "friendly" contact, is just an opportunity for her to keep her hooks in you. You need to break away from her and your feelings for her. This may even mean taking a hiatus from EQ (she can contact you in-game whenever she wants - don't let her). If you want, create an alt on a different server, but avoid you main for the time being.

2) Write EVERYTHING down, including date, time, who said what, etc. You may need this later if there is any he said/she said stuff. Hell, I would go one step further and buy one of these and RECORD EVERYTHING! Buy one of these.
You only need to ask her once if she minds if you record her instructions. Just say, "Hey, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to tape record your instructions so I don't screw them up." You never said you were going to tape just that conversation, or all. A little loophole, but it will hold up in a court of law if it comes to it.

3) In regardless to her bills, either forward them to her new address, or have them returned to sender. Her creditor's will VERY quickly start a skip-tracing procedure. First person they will call is you, and all you have to say is that "she no longer lives there and her new address is ...." Make sure that you are not on any of these accounts.

4) The car is in a mess. Get her to pay for it. Tell her she needs to send (or wire - the preferred method) you the money for it asap as she will NOT be able to plate it in California until she does (I think to get new tags in a new state you need a copy of the title - I know I did when I got my Indiana plates). Let her worry about the emissions tests (California has the most strict tests in the US, so good luck to her).

5) You will need to get a divorce and an annulment. Annulment is for the church and divorce is a state thing, she can't remarry in the eyes of any government until you both get a divorce. Talk to a lawyer, I'm sure your parents know one (doesn't everyone?), ask them for a little advice - just to get pointed in the right direction.

6) You MUST have friends (from grade school, or high school). Get out of the apartment, go watch a DVD/movie with them, start to jog, go play some pick-up basketball, but the thing is just don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself or your predicament (believe me, you'll be mad at yourself later).

Whatever you do, don't agree to do anything for her, unless it's putting a box outside the apartment for her parents to pick-up.

I know some of what your feeling. I was in a serious relationship about 10 years ago. We had talked about making plans for a wedding etc. I decided that I wanted/needed to go back to school and get my Master's degree. I'm not sure why, but my girlfriend (and apparent life partner - at least that's what she told me she was) took that opportunity to start sleeping with a much older man who was married and had a 4 year old little girl. The only thing I regret is not kicking that hose beast out of my life the first time one of my friends mentioned seeing her out with this arse at a bar. No idea whatever happened to her, really don't care.
Baron Durden DarkpointGentleman AssassinRodcet Nife[/b]

[EZ_Jakmagister]

The price they pay for the car should be either the balance remaining on the loan, or the blue-book value of the car minus whatever she has paid (or if it were possible to get it appraised, use the appraised value instead of the blue-book value) -- whichever is higher.

One crucial thing about selling the car is to get their intent to buy *in writing* before accepting the payment. Writing everything down so you don't have to depend on your memory is a very good idea, but also get things in writing from them whenever it's something you're actually agreeing to. Also of course you should receive payment before transferring the title, or at least a substantial fraction of the payment with specific arrangement in writing for when the rest is to be paid. And you must be willing to provide them with written documentation of your willingness to sell at a specified price, before you expect to receive payment. Make a copy of that letter before you send it. These can be sentences in ordinary letters; you don't have to get a lawyer to write them, or make them look like fancy legal documents. Ideally, the statement should be on the same page as the person's signature. If not, it's still much better than not having it in writing at all. Put the date on your letter. Keep the envelope with their letter, so that you have the postmark date.

I would inform the police of what's going on with the car, not just the DMV. I would write it out and give it to them, just the facts, and answer any questions they have about the situation or fill out any additional paperwork so they have it in whatever format they prefer to use. I guess I would make the offer to sell first, and include that fact in the information to the police.

Get your heart and mind around the fact that you never want to have anything to do with this woman ever again, beyond what you need to for legal reasons. Get away from it as much as you have to, but keep coming back to it until the separation no longer has any power over your emotions. Grieve for the relationship you had. Grieve for the relationship you thought you had but didn't. Get through with all that so it won't come back and bite you while you're in court, and cause you to make a bad move. <hr><font color=green><small>Perrish Necro 41. Jakmagister Ench 23 (retired).<br>RL spouse of a long-time Safehouse rogue.</small></font>

[EZ_Kinare]

Hehe... maybe you should tell her this thread exists... so she can make a bunch of really stupid comments and you can screen capture them =p

[EZ_Sojurne]

I admit I just caught wind of this thread, wish I had found it earlier

I add my voice of support to the extra-long list of well wisher and advice givers.

DO NOT cave in!

I think you nailed it when you said you were in love with the ilusion, dont give in to the illusion.
Your wife is not in love with this guy, she also is in love with an illusion. You said some posts earlier, "it seems he is rich!"
Hmm how rich is rich? To some working at Home Depot rather than McDonalds is rich, not to me. Earning 40k a year may seem rich to some but if your annual cost of living is 50K a year then its certainly destitute IMO. If she gave you the impression William has money, then she's certainly delusional.
If William had plenty of money to spare and loves this woman the 1900.00 would be a spit in the bucket to him.. Its all an illusion
I know you dont love this illusion.

Someone posted IE: the old Grass is greener on the other side cliche.... Exactly.... and those whom climb the fence to find the greener grass find only cow shyte in the process... So count your blessings and pay only the bills that are connected w/your SSN.. kk
Those in her name would die, rot, grow mold. IMO... let Mr. William_iamrichcuzilivebeyondmymeans_Illusion pay for them!


/em thinks she has ranted enough

~Soj~

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Well she called me yesterday. She wanted to know what was going on with the divorce. She also wanted to know what was going on with our dog, and how she missed him, but did not give a damn about me.

She thought I would kill the dog, because she says she took care of the animals! ha! she changed the litter box for the cat, once in the period of a year, yeah thats taking care of the cat. Oh and changing the automatic water and food feeders..yeah really hard. The dog could not be happier as hes getting walked twice as much and has a new friend dog at my parents place.

I'm at a crossroads here, I'm tempted to say, you want the divorce you get it, but I also want to be driving the train so she doesn't do any more damage.

She also says, she will not be getting a loan for the car (as she can not) and he won't because they already have a loan on something else (his truck I'm guessing) and I'll have to take payments for it, or nothing.

She told me that, instead of two months, it was four months that she was in love with this guy. So I asked her why she pretended to love me during that time, and she said she did not know what else to do, or where to go.

And yet she still is upset about losing the netflix. I really don't get it, sure I might of felt bad about it, but now she was talking about leaving me with this guy during Christmas so now I feel all the gifts don't mean a damn thing! She keeps saying that my parents hate her...NO @#%$! you walked out on me and turned my life upside down, yeah ok there going to LOVE you for that and want to pay for all your stuff now that your not with me..hah

She also told me that this guy cares about her, and says he is sorry when he does something wrong. so soon? I'm wondering if hes getting sick of having to pay for everything for her. She has no money and no way of paying for anything herself so.. but I do hate it as it drives her into his arms even more. But I'm getting to the point, where I know I wont ever have to see her again, trying to alienate my feelings for her in my heart. It feels cold to do so, but what she has done is even colder.

I also want to say thank you for all the responses here, its been a big help.

[EZ_Halen]

You know, to stop you getting het up with all the emotions, I'd change your phone number, and insist she only corresponds with you via mail or lawyer. Would make things a lot easier to handle.

[EZ_Kinare]

Excellent idea Halen...

Dude, where's YOUR car?

It's in Cali, with that twisted @#%$ up psycho hosebeast. Talk to the police again, tell them what she said. Get yourself out of that situation, or you will get @#%$ over yet again.

You cannot afford a lawyer fine, but there are other things you can do. He is in the navy right?

Talk to someone in the navy about the situation. Again, it is against the UCMJ to commit adultery. They can go to Captain's Mast for it. He will get a reduction in pay. She took your car, and he can probably be blamed with it. It might be @#%$ up, but that is how the Navy works. It might not be illegal and punishable in the "real world" but it probably is in the navy.

Maryland has a large contingent of Navy people there. I am going to try to dig up some links for you or some phone numbers for you to call. This is total bull @#%$ and I am kinda curious anyway =p

[EZ_Kinare]

Here is the UCMJ:

www.military-network.com/...n_ucmj.htm

[EZ_Kinare]

Well damn, I scoured that document and I couldn't find a thing on it. I know it says somewhere that adultery in the military is bad though, someone at my husband's work got masted for it.

[EZ_FiDee]

Hate to drag up older posts like this but if you want to get truly vendictive you could sue this guy she's with now for "alienation of affection". He knew she was married yet pursued a relationship with her anyway. Some woman got millions of dollars for this when he husband left her for his secretary. Go for the bling-bling baby! Get one of those lawyers that wont charge or charge very little based on income and go for the gold.

[EZ_FiDee]

She's right... military will bust your balls if you are caught screwing around. I heard that a couple people got caught and they had to call home and tell their spouses what they were up to and they also went to mast... lost rank, took a pay cut and all that fun stuff that will even follow them around once they are back in a civilian workforce. Not to mention how badly they got it once they got home to face their spouses. OUCH! Yep the guy she's with now could get into huge trouble

[EZ_Melodie Songbird]

I feel for you, the same thing happened to me

3 years later it still can hurt, but gets better after 2 years. Don't rush into a new relationship to get over it. That doesn't work, I tried it a few times. Now live is better than ever and I realize how much better it is without. Get a pale grant and go to school. College is a great way to Shove it in her face as to what she walked away from. What I did was get motivated to do well in life and then look her up to just say "hello" later. Have a great GF and am a Senior on college right now. Turn your anger and bitterness into motivation to make yourself better. Oh and don't repeat the same mistakes in future relationships, go into them slowly and don't let things get out of hand in relationships. Good luck!! Edited by: Melodie Songbird at: 4/2/03 10:44:16 pm

[EZ_patofnaud]

Also, remember if you screw with his life for revenge, he may get fed up and kick her to the curb, THEN who do you think she will have on speed dial?????

Just cut her free, clean up the issue with the car and divorce and move on. Change phones, change locks, change you life. Hasta la vista baby.

[EZ_Sugarbaby]

Wow.. I just stumbled onto this amazing thread. I am at a loss here. Reading all of this makes me wanna cry. I can't believe the way some people will treat the ones they love, going so far as to toss their marriage and go live with some stranger they haven't even seen. It seems like marriage isn't being taken nearly as seriously as it should be anymore. I'm only 18, but things like this really scare me about the future. Its discouraging and makes me think twice about getting married someday. If this can happen so easily to someone that may as well have been me, do I even want to get married at all??

She sounded selfish and unwilling to be patient/understanding when it came to having children. You can't just pop babies out with no extra finances and expect life to be exactly the same. And willing to be raped??? I'm sorry but I would rather die than live the rest of my life knowing that I was raped. Something was definitely wrong there.

The best advice I can give you is just take it a day at a time and learn from your mistakes. Use the situation to motivate you to become a better person and reach your full potential, as she was obviously holding you back before.

I'm very heartbroken over this and I honestly wish there was something I could do or say to help you. If you ever want to chat or need some friendly advice PLEASE don't hesitate to e-mail (shyviolets@hotmail.com) or send a PM.

I wish you the best *HUG*

Danielle

Sugarbaby Lilbritches
46 Gnome Cleric
Bertoxxulous

[EZ_SirTurjerm daNecro]

Wow....

I have no new advice for you - but I am curious how things are going after this length of time...

Elsewhere on the safehouse (Logged out) - I actually posted 14 hours ago about a situation that this makes look like child's play.. no wonder peeps were telling me to grow up.. lol.

I've been in a bit depressed state here as well, as I was with my ex-finacee for a bit over 4 years - and we broke up like a month ago.

This is what I can offer:

1) Don't get a 'rebound' girl - the girl ends up not liking it, and you will feel worse in the end (2 losses opposed to 1 ) - In my case, I'm working very hard within myself to make sure I'm not doing exactly that with this new girl I posted about.

2) Don't let EQ run your life. I have been in the depressed state and played EQ day-in/day-out. Among the other things, it very well may have lead to part of the break-up I had recently... but there were other issues as well.

3) Be sure to cover your ass best you can. Having no money to do this really sucks, but, as has been posted, there are many other ways to work around it. And if worse comes to worse - never hesitate to consult your parents - they've been on the earth longer than you have, and may be able to give you more advice on a plan of action.

I know I kinda repeated and such, but what has been posted on this so far really does make sense for the most part.

I know 3 couples closely that have been broke up because of EQ - one couple where the same thing you are having now happened- they were married 8 years; the girl went to a character with a high end guild - the guy went to vegas, met someone, was engaged after 3 weeks, logged on once with name change in place on their character - hijacked her characters, attempted to teach the new fiancee how to play EQ - and I haven't seen any of the characters logged on since that day. The other 2 couples had other issues besides EQ, but EQ played a large part of it.

My ultimate goal is one of these 2 options - either win the lottery and play EQ and have the girl of my dreams (welcome to fantasy island - I don't even play the lottery) - or can EQ someday soon, count my losses, and make a fresh start.

Your life is your life - you do what you want with it, but success only comes with effort - and your efforts will prove your worthiness.

btw.. with my fiancee.. I kinda hurt her in the end - we had a number of items in the house that were shared, bought for us, etc.- I had her make a list, I looked over it - waited for her to leave (she was living 30 minutes away) - called her up after bein gone 15 minutes, and told her she had 24 hours to get her things before I took possession of all of it. I own my property alone, and had a contingency plan if they would have went berzerk on me (IE - a list with the insurance company of all items listed on my homeowner's policy - for the event of damages, etc... highly recommended and required by some companies). She rallied up her family, and got her stuff that night... very uncomfortable situation, as none of them seen as to why I had reacted like I did... I'm a very calm person in RL.. and making them make haste, they didn't understand. Hell, she called my dad, trying to make him talk sense into me. I explained to him that it was what I needed so I could move on.. that closure. He simply told me he'd help anyway he could, and to not kill anyone in her family if they started a fight (particularly her hot-tempered 19 year old brother that likes twice my size... people are very scared of my 'melee' skills... and I'll leave it at that)

It all went smoothly.. she emailed me the other day.. and from her choice of words, it's still tearing her up a bit... understandable.. but she was the one that had given up on us... and that's what hurt me the most.

OK - I've been at this for 20 minutes.. time to give the thread to someone else.. lol..

Just hang in there bud... it's all you can do.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Well I have not posted in a while about this, as the pain still resides and in some ways its getting better, other ways its getting worse.

I have moved completely out of the apartment and gotten all but her stuff and the things im trying to sell out of there.
She wrote me a letter today, that says she is requesting that I send her, her stuff because we had a "agreement" to do so when she was leaving. Well later one of the times she called, I asked her what she wanted done with it, she said they were material things, and they didn't mean anything, so therefore removing the said "agreement", but now she wants them. I'm not going to pay to send her @#%$ when she left me. She said she had to get away from me..no @#%$ we had no money and you were in love with someone else and is now accusing me of abusing her...um I would like to know how, yes I yelled at you because you would not try to get a job or when you would say you did not want to be with me because I would not get you pregnant.

Other things she has done, is called and left msgs on a friends phone, whom she would have no way of knowing about, unless she somehow got into my computer.
I'm going to talk to a lawyer on monday with my parents to see exactly what I can, and can not do with her items, one free lawyer said that she abandoned the items and I can do whatever I want with them.

Also she still has the car and has refused to do anything about it. She called my father's work (He works for NSA) saying that he was doing something he should not have, and got him into luckily not so much trouble. I've been trying to keep this as in-personal as possible, but she is dragging it kicking and screaming back into the personal realm. I don't want to mess with there relationship, but shes making it really hard for me to not see a reason why.

she said in the letter, if I was man enough to get married to her, why am I not man enough to get a divorce with her. Hmmm, maybe its because I did not want this? Maybe because I @#%$ loved you?!
I must say though, her doing this stuff does make it easier to get over her. She's showing her true colours and well, they are ugly.

[EZ_Andurian]

Step one; Go to pawn shop, sell what you can of hers, give the rest to charity if applicable. Burn the rest.

Step two; Get your car, now that she is refusing to do anything about it. You should be able to get the law involved. If you want.


I guess you could try and be nice, offering to sign Divorce papers if you get your car back. Just to get the succubus to leave you alone.

[EZ_Kinare]

Oh my @#%$ god. She is calling your father's WORK and getting HIM into trouble!??!?!?!?!

As said before, document everything. Write it all down, every single confrontation with her. I am tempted to say that you need to find out what this guy's full name is, and call the Navy and @#%$ up his life too... because you could do it. A guy from my husband's unit got in trouble just last week for nearly the same thing. His pay was docked by $1,000 and he lost a pay grade because of it.

[EZ_Durden]

Calling your pops work to get him into trouble is Defamation of Character, your father can sue her for all she's worth (I'm assuming she was talking out her arse on that one).

He should seriously look into a lawsuit - I'm assuming that the complaint was logged at his work, WITH her name as the complaintant (no way she can back out of that).

[Nenjin]

Oh...my......GOD!


1) Andurian is right. The line has long since been over stepped. Sell EVERYTHING SHE HAS TO THE PAWN SHOP.

2) Report the car stolen and stick by it.

3) Get your lawyers ready(have your dad get his too) and sue her for defimation of character, and anything else you can find. No one has the right to abuse, yes, abuse someone like this, unless you are one severly psycho abusive mofo that you haven't shared. Either way, she is using the way she treated you in the relationship as an extension of how she treats you(and your family, and your posessions apparently) outside of the relationship, namely, treating you like a bitch. Forget angst and loneliness man, GET PISSED and take back your manhood.

Sorry if that is harsh, but @#%$ A, how can you not be seething right now?

[EZ_Durden]

Once you contact a lawyer, and decide to use them to help in your divorce - tell her you can no longer speak with her. If she has any erason to communicate with you, she should call your lawyer with any request.

I sure hope you are still writing everything she's said and one down with dates, times, and anything else you can think of.

[Dorla]

Honestly, I wouldn't sell the stuff until you talk to the lawyer. Once the lawyer tells you it's OK... go nuts.

Basically, she could care less about you. She never really dealt with the situation, and now that she's out she doesn't understand why you're so upset. I am in NO WAY condoning what she's doing... I'm just saying, she's happy with her new man now, so why should she even think about your feelings? I would second the motion of not even talking to her once you secure a lawyer. Have everything go through him/her. It will be easier in the long run, will give a paper trail, and will also take away any personal feelings that might be left. If she mentions again why you're not being a man, tell her, "I'm being man enough to do this the legal way, not the whore-ish way you did it".

[EZ_Durden]

Ahhhh, I'd advise against that last peice of advise from Dorla... .. no offense, but don't fan her fire.

If she asks why she has to speak with your lawyer instead of you, tell her that your lawyer requested that so he could BE the loop (not stay in the loop) of what's going on between you.

[Nenjin]

Well, at the very least, leave all her stuff on the corner for the bums to pick through. Nothing illegal about that, is there?

[EZ_Durden]

So what did the lawyer say?

[EZ_Kinare]

I agree with Durden. We need daily updates

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Well they lawyer said, that I have no legal responsibility to her items. I am however going to e-mail her one more time, saying if she wants her w2 and her birth certificate, then she sends me the plates of the car, and if she wants her stuff, well she sends me eather the money for the car, or the car itself.
She also said that it sure sounds like theft, so I talked to the police, I can file criminal charges if I want, but I don't want to bring it to that if things work out differently.

You guys are right though, its time to stop being depressed and get mad..

[EZ_Durden]

Good plan, as SOME time she has to file a Tax Return. I'd give her a date, like May 15th to either a) Send you $1800 dollars (she can keep the car and pay your, or sell the car herself in California and then send you the money), or b) pay to have a driver take it from California to you (either on a truck or them driving the darn thing). If she fails to do either of these things by the date, report the car stolen, file a police report.

She left you almost 2 months ago, you need to move on (sorry to say).

And again, save all emails, write down all conversations (time, palce, date, what was discussed, etc). If you still play EQ, auto-log every session in case she starts sending you tells.

[Dragynphyre]

I will completely agree with the write everything down, and again, if you can, tape all phone conversations - EXPLICITLY stating that you will be taping this conversation in the beginning of the conversation, which makes it admissible in court.

Don't let this bitz off the hook. She's ground your heart into the ground, take her for all she's got... and she should pay for any shipping of her @#%$ to her

[EZ_ZykiumTM]

Sell ALL of her stuff. Use the money to buy a plane ticket. Take your car keys with you, go pick your car up while he's on duty. Drive home.


edit: Self Signerf Edited by: ZykiumTM at: 4/11/03 5:03:17 pm

[EZ_FiDee]

Dont get mad, get even. She wants to call and get your father in trouble at his work... she sounds like she's ready for a harsh dose of revenge.
1. contact the navy and get him in trouble
2. report your vehicle as stolen and DONT back down
3. *and my personal fave* sue him for alienation of affection and watch the $$$ roll in.

[EZ_Meface]

Ok here ya go
Navy Law

1 Firstly start here. Hey this guys is F****** your wife. Lets start by messing with there income. Dishonorable discharge pay you nothing.

2 Next Car =Stolen Call the cops and report it that way.All you have to say is she was going to bring it back and that was a month ago.

3 STOP ALL COMMUNICATION! The FOOT INTO MOUTH problem has lost many a case in court.
STOP TALKING TO HER! She will dig her own hole.

4 Get your DAD to a lawyer and have a lawsuit drawn up. Make sure he gets anything that is documented in his workfile. I am sure they do that kind of thing there.

5 If at any point in time you start to feel sorry for her just remember line 1 of statement one.

If you mess with the bull you get the horns.
Meface
P.S. Keep us up to date. and GooD Luck MefaceEdited by: Meface at: 4/13/03 10:04:01 pm

[EZ_Jaypepe the Antlion]

What are your friends saying? They must have some good advice, seeing as they know her and all.

From here, it sounds like you married one @#%$ up bitch

[EZ_Melodie Songbird]

OHH man I forgot all about that. The military takes this Very seriously. Contact the Navy today and have him get an article 13 at least. This will trash his career for sure, or at least put a nice dent in it. This is against the law and he knows it. Can anyone find a number for him to call? Have your lawyer do it, I am sure they know how to go about it. I am not saying that you want her back or anything, but it is against the law for him to do what he did so he should pay for it. The military at least needs to know, so they know what kind of a person they have. Also, file the police report with the car stolden. When your lawyer contacts the Navy have them add in that the car that he is probably driving has been reported stolden. Man if you can end him up in jail for even a day that would be golden.

[EZ_Mylifeback]

Well my friend, I came and I read. I'm really sorry to hear how "bad" it was. Like I told you in the game, both myself and my husband have lost spouses to either aol chat rooms, or other online avenues. One person suggested, you not play EQ anymore, I'll hunt ya down if you leave...hehe There are some VERY good, caring folks in the game, you just have to pick and choose your friends wisely, not always easy to do online, as we cannot see the body language to go with the words. I TOTALLY agree with all the suggestions here (minus quitting EQ, shame on you!), get that car out of your responsibility!!!! Run an ad in your local paper stating that you are no longer responsible for any debts incurred by your wife after (the date she left you). Alot of states will consider that a legal document and it truly protects the "screwed" one. As much as I'm sure you still are hurting, that pain will ease, but never give this one a second chance, I agree with that also. I was friends with a girl on aol for about a year, she always flirted with my ex, I was "secure" in my relationship, so I thought. Well, we didn't have the best marriage, but we were still trying. He's her headache now. I wish them all they truly deserve! Trust was a huge issue for myself and my husband, over the past 5 years, it's been earned. For me, there's only one thing I will walk over and I refuse to look back, cheating. I don't know why these girls online think the grass is always greener on the other side...especially with men who live online. All of us who are in the game constantly are escaping something in reality, be it friendships, love, or whatever else. I'm online ALOT, but my husband comes first and I make it VERY clear that I'm not looking for anything, I have it all right here at home, take your time my friend, trust and love does NOT happen overnight, but the right one for you is out there!!! As I have free long distance, if you EVER need an ear, just let me know, you have friends who will help you get through this. Take some time for you, you sound like you are far more responsible than your years. I cannot you enough for your refusal to bring children into this mess you were in. Ok, another from the old folks section..*hugs* You take care and we are only a tell away...

Buffwiser <~~~~ healerMylifebak@attbi.com

[EZ_Mylifeback]

Sugarbaby...don't be afraid of love and marriage, just use good common sense with it, take relationships in the order that work!!! Friends first...not friends who have sex, just friends...graduate it from there, my husband and I met online, true enough, both were single, lived 18 miles apart, we were pen pals for about 2 months, then we went to dinner, started going to movies, etc. We did a ton of talking about what we liked, didn't like, what our goals were. Then about 6 months down the road, started talking about moving in together, and we did. Probably too soon, but we got lucky, I'd say date for a year, then think beyond. We ironed out all the "issues", and then decided we thought we could spend the rest of our lives together, I guess my point here is, you have to take relationships in steps, make sure before you walk that isle. "Right" relationships can be totally awesome...I've had plenty of bad ones to judge by!

[EZ_Andurian]

Enter is my friend.

Andurian Scallywag
Proud Ass-assin of Gray Soldiers - Quellious

[EZ_Zulian]

Don't be silly Andurian, we all know you have no friends :P "Age and wisdom don't always go together, I've found. ... Some people just become stupid with more authority." -- Terry Pratchett

[EZ_Kinare]

Why does Mylifeback's second post scare me? I hear Twilight Zone music...

[EZ_Raines The Rogue]

You may want to think of something along these lines.

In her parents eyes she has done something Major bad.

Maybe you could talk to them about paying for the car. And have them deal with her paying them back.

Your young man, the pain will subside. Get out do something take in a hobby.

It has been 2 months. (or more).

Ok the thing about messing with the other guys life? Not sure if you want to do that. Remember he has your girl ( the problem child ). That in itself is a punishment.

Check on the her Parents see what they say. They know you are the Victim.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Well I sent her a e-mail, just stated:
Send me the plates for the car, you get one box of your stuff of her choice (I have to get the plates before I can do anything else with the car) send me the money for the car (1900) and she gets all her stuff.

Thats it plain and simple. lets see if she replies to it.

[EZ_MinionX]

and this is what Realdoll.com is the simple answer to life

$6500 is cheaper in the long run in my opinion

Level 52th Dorf Rogue of Cazic Thule, "for 20 levels all I smelt was goblin ass"

RIP Sophie my cat, 1985-2001 :o( Love ya baby.

[Dragynphyre]

It's been 4 days... any updates on that email Gadwin?

[EZ_Durden]

Ok Gadwin, been about 3 weeks, we need an update.

Stay strong.

[EZ_Deluin]

Hmm.. if you ever talk to him, respond to every word he says with "Die." or possibly "You're on fire."

My sympathies, my friend, but it will bite him on the ass, she sounds like she isn't worth it. You're better off without that @#%$ in your life.

You're my age, I'm 22, and I couldn't image having to deal with all that crap. I'd say start going out and meeting people, as you can afford that now with no deadbeat girlfriend to support.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Ah well, there was no response to that e-mail. Didn't think there would be in all honestly.
However, you might count this as a response:
She sent legal separation papers.. when I got them, heh well it just shows that shes really going through with this, and the feeling that this is real, is starting to show up.
Well it was amusing though, I took all of her stuff and put it in storage, doesn't cost much but hey im going to be rich now heh. Was a nice act on my part as the apartment would of just thrown it out, or auctioned it who knows.
Anyway she put down only $600 in depts and things owned...hah well she forgot to list, all the bills, THE CAR, all the items she took with her... all things I will be putting down in my response.
it came to about $6000 in total heh.

What I don't understand is, the divorce is a little over two months away, and well why do this? why not wait until she can get the divorce? I was thinking to ease her mind as she knows shes a cheating wife.. I want to ask her, hows it feel to be a cheating wife eh?
But its best not to have anymore contact with her.

I won't do anything out of revenge, im going to let the courts handle things with the car, if I did do anything out of revenge, when this was all over, I wouldn't feel good about myself, and then she would have some merit on calling me a evil person.
Does not a evil person seek revenge in anyway possible? What holds my tongue then?

[Nenjin]

So like, if you two end up on People's Court, let us know, k?
It would be nice to have a face to go with all this ARGH!

[EZ_biancodove]

hey (i dont know you and only know about this from the situation) but having been there done that myself

its best to keep your side of the street clean. Youll be proud of this in the long run, tho its hard to do. And you cant keep your side cleaning in expectation of her doing the same. Tho protect yourself. If it were me, id give her her stuff, if she came to get it (so your not out any money). And about the car, go fill out a report if its in your name and have the police deal with it once your divorced. Or offer to give her the divorce if you get the car in the divorce.

I only say this bc i have went through the same thing. And now how i handled it is something im very proud of. He however acted like an idiot and i had to have him arrested for stalking and ramming my car but i kept my side of the street clean and now can look back on it and be proud i did the right thing.

[EZ_Gadwin Orlose]

Ahh yes, she has called again, but nothing of my own doing. Seems her second EQ account has been cancelled, now I did *NOT* do this, as the post above explains, I want to keep my side clean, not only for myself, but to prove to her and her new boyfriend that im not who she is making me out to be.

heh now this is how dumb she is, 6 months ago she got this second account from her friend online, she put her debit card into it. Her card does not work anymore, so when they went to rebill it, there was no card to rebill and poof they cancel it, but noooo first thing she thinks is that I did this to her. Why would I? If I was going to do something to her, it would be allot worse then getting rid of her everquest experience.

As to everything, the courts will take care of it, Im glad now that I have not done anything in vengeance, the best vengeance is a new and better life without her. Infact I hope she calls like a year from now, wanting our old life back, and I have someone new, and a better life.. and just say to her "talk to my girlfriend and ask her if you can come back"

Another thing.. just to show how dumb she really is, when our car had a muffler problem, it made a REALLY loud noise that could not be ignored, now as you would expect, when the windows were down you could hear it allot better and it would sound like it was louder. However, she could not get this concept that, when the windows are down, it is not louder outside, but its louder INSIDE the car, as the windows are not blocking some of the noise, but she thought...that when the windows were down, that the noise could be heard better OUTSIDE the car.
No amount of convincing could tell her otherwise, no explanation on how sound works and how windows block out some of the sound, would tell her otherwise heh.

Anyway, I wish she would stop calling me, I was glad that she had not, just reminds me of where she is and what she is doing over there. sigh

*edit* oh and Ninjin, ill try to post a pic of me and her so you can put a face to all this. Edited by: Gadwin Orlose at: 5/23/03 8:20:39 pm

[EZ_Kinare]

Can you get a block on the phone number? I think so... if you know the number you can forbid them from calling you.

Why would she want to talk to you unless it's absolutely necessary? What kind of sadistic bitch is she? /rude ho

Someone needs to stealth post this on her server boards =p

Are you still playing EQ on that server man?

[EZ_Lolanae]

Most phone companies have a way of blocking numbers. I would give your phone company a call and ask them to block her number and any number you know that she may call from, if she is bothering you bad with calls.

I really hope that things start looking up for you and that the divorce goes smooth. Keep us updated.

[EZ_Durden]

Been awhile, need update, must know how you're doing.....

Hope all is well Gadwin.

[EZ_Phinnor]

Gadwin,
I really dont know you but I have some questions. See, I have just started playing everquest a few months ago, and i've met some very nice people, and some very not-so-nice people. When I read your post, I couldn't help but ask:
How did you deal with all of this? How do you get over being left by the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with? How do you deal with being the only one who really meant "Forever?" I thought that everquest would be a fun game, and true enough it is, but there is more drama here than in real life. When I started playing, I started for the same reason your wife/ex wife did. I wanted to see what it was all about, because my fiancee/boyfriend played it day in and day out, but that's not really the issue here.

My point is, after everything, after depending so much on someone, how did you deal? Are you doing good now?The reason I ask is because I too am going through some Very hard changes,things I shouldnt be going through until my late 20's/early 30's (it'd be inappropriate to go into that though) and sometimes i feel like giving up. I hope to gain strength from your success.


---Phinnor

[EZ_aandaie]

The best revenge IS living well.

She got the short end of the stick in spades. It is funny how she did not think ahead about the EQ accounts and such.

As far as EQ, I'd never let an SO. get into it with me and I'd never start a relationship with an SO. that was into it. I'd find someone that was interested in something which was pretty much the opposite, yet compatible as far as time invested -such as watching sports on TV.




Aandaie 56 Druid's Magelo

Aaelandri 42 Cleric's Magelo

Prittior 40 Shadowknight's Magelo

[EZ_Ewan aka nach0king]

Quote:As far as EQ, I'd never let an SO. get into it with me and I'd never start a relationship with an SO. that was into it. I'd find someone that was interested in something which was pretty much the opposite, yet compatible as far as time invested -such as watching sports on TV.

Just curious:

Why?
Jokah Sealclubber
65 Gnome Rogue & Veteran on Bristlebane
United Kingdoms
Zebrastreifen weiß und blau

[Meddik]

did this thread really need to be bumped?

[EZ_Ewan aka nach0king]

I didn't actually see the date on it. It was linked from another thread.

Don't like, don't read etc.

That said, I wonder if the original poster's doing OK these days.

[Kaielen]

"This is weird. A very similar thing happened to this young couple on Fennin Ro. Gives me the creeps after reading your story. "

Synrax. That may have very well been me you're talking about. If not, then you can add me to that list.

Edit: I'm in training today and sneaking around on the internet, so I didn't notice the dates or replies. I hope this guy is doing okay...God knows it's hard when a bitch like that gets you in the back. Edited by: Kaielen at: 9/29/03 10:18 am