View Full Version : What sort of abomination is this thing?
EZ_Prenn
08-29-03, 07:22 AM
Why, hello there strange little mutant albino computer machine!
It doesn't appear to be on, I'll turn the monitor on. Oh what's that, it turned on? Oh well, saves finding the towe...what?
Someone stole the buttons off the mouse. I thought this was a -safe- campus, but we've got vandals thieverizing the very buttons off the mice!
They're on the side? Who the hell has hands compatible with this thing?
Shift+home and end don't highlight text. Pgup/down ignores my form field and scrolls the entire damn thing. If the mice actually worked worth a @#%$ I wouldn't mind. Hell, shift and arrow keys doesn't work for highlighting text. There's no mouse wheel. Whoever set the settings for these computers must have motion sickness, because I could run over to the cafeteria and buy lunch in the time it takes to move the cursor across the screen, either by mouse or arrows.
Dear god, it's an iMac. I thought these things were extinct. The only nice thing about it is the size and pressure required of the keys on the keyboard. Do they make an iMac->pc converter for these?
Oh well, they say you can play games on them. There's a first time for everything, I suppose. Even Yahoo! games don't work with them.
I wonder which genius put the napster installer next to the text on the wallpaper that says "NO ILLEGAL DOWNLOADING, SUCH AS BUT NOT LIMITED TO MUSIC, MOVIES, AND SOFTWARE."
Maybe I'll buy an iPod and be like one of those kids in Hackers and skate out of the building with my pirated trojans.
Well, I'm tired of the window scrolling away when I hit end. Time to post and get the hell away from this.
I hope Somethingawful isn't 'inappropriate content.' Sensei Pren,
Tribunal Server
Dragon Army
Maybe I'll buy an iPod and be like one of those kids in Hackers and skate out of the building with my pirated trojans.
Priceless. Just happened to friend of mine. Got his office's network, his laptop, and his home desktop.
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EZ_Prenn
08-29-03, 07:30 AM
That isn't a moon, it's a spacestation!
Those aren't buttons on the side. The whole thing is the button! Jumping failed engineering students on a springless pogostick, batman.
See, when you use a computer so innately that it works and you don't even realize what your hands are doing, you use computers too much.
ps: i liek 2 b able to edit text without having to take my hand off the keyboard to move the @#%$ thing faster than a snail moonwalking down an upward escalator while frozen to within 30 Kelvin of absolute zero.
Dragynphyre
08-29-03, 08:08 AM
those iMacs are scary - but if it wasn't a Mac, the G5 would SO be on my desk - just for the way it looks. I think I'm gonna mod something out to look like that puppy.
As for keyboard commands - I HAVE to have these! You should see me when I'm workin in Excel...hands almost never touch the mouse. (Back In Black)
Veteran Delissandra Splitshadow - Half-Elven Assassin
Grandmaster Poisoner (250), Master Potter (188), Grandmaster Lush (200)
Cause I'm back on the track
And I'm beatin' the flack
Nobody's gonna get me on another rap
Brelkor
08-29-03, 08:28 AM
But it would be worth it to get a G5 for run PPC Linux on Brelkor the Blackhammer, The Masta Back Stabba, retired rogue
"Wake up on fire every day
And I never say goodbye
Pre-determined destiny
I've never been afraid to die"[i]
[i]
EZ_Ciba
08-29-03, 10:50 AM
Hey, at least you can use it as a boat anchor!
Pyrocat Moonstalker
08-29-03, 10:21 PM
Eh, I'd get much more satisfaction out of using a mac as a "stress relivation device" office space style.
Mardoc the Dwarf
08-29-03, 10:44 PM
so much h8
And I have a few friends who use Macs. Well, the word "friends" is used very tentatively. We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves. Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs. Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
EZ_Tubbins
09-01-03, 05:49 PM
wix uses a mac!
EZ_Prenn
09-19-03, 03:03 PM
Wednesday:
Cute chick: Can you help me? It just froze up.
Me, thinking: @#%$ IMACS
Me, saying: *mumbling while @#%$ with the keyboard* ask the IT guy
IT guy: You just have to turn it off. They're crap. That's why they're in the free surf zone.
Me: Why do we have imacs anyway?
IT guy: They gave them to us for free when the college opened
Me: figured.
Today:
Several of us: Macs suck
Woman using one nearby: This isn't like at home. Do people still use these?
Hate those things. God damn link toolbar on the screen never goes away, windows don't maximize, and it sucks.
But at least we have mouse buttons. "They will come back, come back again, as long as the Red Earth rolls. He never wasted a tree or a leaf, why should he squander souls?"
EZ_Prenn
10-01-03, 07:45 AM
Day 5, no computer.
Ass remains sore, shakes have stopped. Sweats are going away. Satellite television is frightening (Thank you, Satellite! 'Tasty Asians 2: Poo Poo Plater' is utterly horrific to see mentioned while channel surfing after witnessing the horrors of the internet.) DSL kit not to arrive for another 4 days at the minimum. Jacuzzi is nice. Morons who installed my bathroom failed to put in an exhaust pipe for the gas; opening bathroom door floods house with the permiating stench of rotting, ancient feces. Shower head faces curtain and bathroom door, resulting in potential hilarity if someone you dislike barges in, but also great potential for rotting the god damn floor out. Thankfully, the guano-vampire/mummy scent keeps us all out of that room.
The apple next to me is borked. In fact, even the power switch is non-responsive. A hammer would resolve that issue, but I don't think that'd make me popular. While searching for loose cords, I discovered that these things have handles on them. It's like Tickle Me iMac.
This is like a blog, only cheaper to run.
EZ_Prenn
10-01-03, 07:51 AM
While reading Nenjin's thread about bestbuy sucking, IE crashed and the apple I was on hard locked, again with the power button not responding.
Someone install linux, please.
Quote:wix uses a mac!<-not surprised Your Sister in Arms,
Jazya Vechette
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EZ_Senn Sei
10-01-03, 12:41 PM
Quote:Thankfully, the guano-vampire/mummy scent keeps us all out of that room.
... I believe the term is "flush" ..! although a bathroom without a ventilation system seems really really weird, so maybe it doesn't help anyway
/pity Prenn
EZ_Nyssa Rainwhisper
10-01-03, 12:45 PM
And here I thought it was another green toe post...phew!
freonsmurf
10-01-03, 08:24 PM
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
It's only wrong if you get caught.If consequences dictate my course of action I should play GOD
blog html
Hell
EZ_Prenn
10-03-03, 08:48 AM
Oh, we do flush it. It helps, but it is not within normal operating perameters for a toilet to require 10 flushes a day to maintain a rosey, generic faded piss/crap public bathroom scent* instead of smelling like count zombula after a scene of scat porn. It's unusable at 5 flushes a day. Definitely not right.
As for green toes... I had rotting flesh occur on my toe a couple of times. I pulled the area open with a cottonless q-tip and poured peroxide and alcohol on it til it went away. Flesh was all soft and gooey.
*It's bad when you wish your home bathroom smelt as good as a public restroom. I've never actually flushed it 10 times a day, I'll have to try it.