Being the Nice Guy

[EZ_Eldoren]

What is wrong with people? Do they like being treated like crap and come back for more? Why is it someone who can be polite, kind, and have morals be over looked and people who don't give a crap, treat people badly, and are rude be put in the spot light? This is just something that doesn't register with me. I don't get why people continue to be treated badly while someone else can treat them great and still stick with the person who is treating them like crap. Is there are reason for this?

Is chivalry dead?

ps. girl rant

pss this rant was better but I hit spell check and the debugger came up and closed the window.

[EZ_t1d3]

All your questions answered.

[EZ_Eldoren]

Actually I've read that, but I was looking to see what other people thought, I don't want this turning into another ladder thread...

[EZ_Aldarion Shard]

replace "people" with "women", for accuracy's sake. Veda Kai'Rin

[Lisboa]

Who knows. We want things we can't have.

[Nenjin]

Male opinion:

Women want the best of both worlds. Stable, nice, sensitive, yet domineering, exciting, mysterious, macho.

Younger women say they want it all, when in reality, they just want everything after yet. As far as I can tell, women associate the nice guy with stability, a guarentee, a shoe in for that guy who will be your prince. Except when they have it, they feel bored(probably not the right word), trapped, like they are missing out on something even more special than having someone who really cares about you.

This only barely covers why women date guys other than nice guys, it doesn't explain why girls date guys who beat them, or cheat on them, but I think it explains why just a nice girl will pass a sweet, caring guy for an aloof, dashing schmoe, because they dashing guy excites them, the nice guy makes them smile. When they come to value smiles more than excitement, they will probably start thinking about finding a real partner. "They will come back, come back again, as long as the Red Earth rolls. He never wasted a tree or a leaf, why should he squander souls?"

[Jhani Vandolay]

Obviously it's impossible to tell via people's subjective retelling of events, and obviously there are extremities (such as beaters) but what I'd prefer to know is why people think being nice is enough? Perhaps the guy/girl you percieve as a mean mistreater has qualities you (general you, not just about the poster) don't have? Perhaps you have qualities that annoy the hell out of the person rejecting you? Maybe there's just no chemistry? Maybe they find you (gasp) unnatractive?

It's easy to write off rejection as "Well, they just wanted someone jerkier than me.", and not look at the whole picture. That way, you can get rejected ad nauseum and never feel like it has anything to do with you. In fact that way, you're not only never at fault, but always "too good" for the person who rejected you.

Yes it happens sometimes, but it seems more often than not, it is just an attractive cop out. Not to claim the status of a "real professional" in any one endeavor has been a small price to pay for the many benefits and pleasures of trespassing. ~Leo Lionni

[Nenjin]

I said what I said under the context of, this girl seems intrested, but then she picks the total opposite of you. I wasn't really reffering to the guy standing in the corner by himself wondering why all the social guys are finding girls while no one is picking him. Anyone can play the "they all suck compared to me" game.

[EZ_Eldoren]

No I'm not saying it at all, I'm saying more along the lines of what Nenjin is saying. I'm just sort of saying how it seems like some people I know can do something that she says annoys her yet she continues to put up with it and how I get called a sweet and kind guy but it never really seems to help any. I don't know how to say most of this without coming off as cocky... but my intentions are really not meant to be that way.

[EZ_Ciba]

A year or two ago, a buddy of mine did a monologue for a course about this. It was basically, "well, the chicks dig the @#%$ over me, maybe I should be an @#%$." in several minutes.

[EZ_pulid]

I think everyone should simply see American Wedding(American Pie 3). Observe Cadence choosing between Stifler the punk/gentlemen and Finch the intellectual. All we be explained

[Jem]

Quote:No I'm not saying it at all, I'm saying more along the lines of what Nenjin is saying. I'm just sort of saying how it seems like some people I know can do something that she says annoys her yet she continues to put up with it and how I get called a sweet and kind guy but it never really seems to help any. I don't know how to say most of this without coming off as cocky... but my intentions are really not meant to be that way.


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[Kaielen]

Women will choose the **** every time. Pisses me off.

Edit: Hrmm...left it the way it was because after rereading it...I found it funny.

Translation: (non perverted) Women will choose the unpleasant cretin every time, and it angers me. Edited by: Kaielen at: 9/16/03 4:02 pm

[Elerion]

Haha that was great Kaielen, for a second I was seriously wondering why you were complaining about women choosing ****.

[Nocte]

I dated all the wrong women before discovering the type of woman that I wanted to marry. I would guess women sow thier wild oats just like men, and why shouldn't they?

Seriously, look at these women as dodged bullets, not missed opportunities.
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[Pyrocat Moonstalker]

ps. girl rant

So called it.

That was perfect Kaielen

[EZ_Blaze ODead]

You know you can't really "call it" unless someone else is there for you to call it to? It's like calling shotgun while you can't see the car. It jsut DOESN'T HAPPEN!

[Pyrocat Moonstalker]

I called it when I saw the title, no matter if there was someone to witness the calling or not. I saw the car!!1

[EZ_Peebs]

I think a lot of the problems that the 'nice' guys have is they are 'nice' to the point of not being themselves. I've actually been right in the middle of this sort of scenario recently, except that I guess I'm the ****.

We've all seen it or done it. All of a sudden every joke she says is funny, every slight or percieved slight (even joking) is apologized for profusely, and wouldn't you know it, you like all the same music, movies, and blah blah blah as her too. Why would she want to be with somebody who is exactly like herself?

I'm not saying this is how it is in your case, just a general observation. Sometimes 'jerkiness' can also be misinterpreted, and usually if you're the 'nice guy' you're not going to think too favorably of the other guy anyway.

[Kaielen]

Nope. Doesn't matter. You could disagree with everything a girl says and show some difference and be as interesting as you want. She'd still go for the jerk.

Classic example: There was a girl that wrecked her car one night near the club my friends and I were at. I took her with us to the next club, bought her a drink, and bandaged up her leg that had been cut.

She went home with a guy that had passed her up on the way to the club.

[EZ_Ubernome]

Next time, try the lost puppy story.

[Kaielen]

That only attracts ugly women.

*runs*

[Nimmbull]

Easy solution: Don't go after stupid/immature women. There are lots of smart hot chicks out there who know what a good relationship is about.

If you're just going after sex with stupid hot chicks....be a jerk. But that's a pretty shallow life.

Nimm

[Jhani Vandolay]

Somewhere, right now, there is an ugly woman complaining that guys always choose hoes who will cheat on them and spend their money, and never give the nice girl a chance. I imagine something along the lines of "I even did his math and Latin homework, but he went home with that cheerleader who wouldn't give him the time of day when he was a freshman. Why oh why do guys only go for bitches?"

[Nenjin]

I ain't got no love for hoes.

[Kaielen]

That sounds feasible...but the ugly chicks go for jerks too. I'm not as shallow as most guys. I still can't help but stop and watch a looker when she walks past, but if a girl is a bitch, I don't care how good looking they are they're not getting my affection.

Also, I don't care what ANYONE says...any girl that wants to go out guy hunting is going to find one. Period. I don't know how many times my friends and I have gone out with the sole purpose of trying to meet some women and maybe get a phone number and have spent the night playing Royal Air Force to an establishment full of Red Barons.

[EZ_Sollex]

A-holes get laid, nice-guys get married. Krizlin Bsizzlin, 57 Dru,
Sollex Iceblood, 58 War,(Semi-Retired)
|~TUNARE~|

[Kaielen]

Very true. Sex is better in long term relationships anyway. That's when you can break out the whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

[EZ_Ubernome]

last time i tried that, i woke up from a coma

[Jhani Vandolay]

A sugar coma?

[EZ_Ubernome]

either that or she chickened out and clubbed me with a broken table leg.

[ShadowCross]

Either way, you probably missed the fun
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[EZ_lenweni]

A common nice guy mistake is they dont step up to the plate they more or less hover over it waiting for conformation before asking a girl out. This is deemed a lack of confidence A.K.A. a bad thing.

After a bad first date always ask yourself "So did I insult her or was I boring?" this usually can narrow down what went wrong early. I know some very nice guys who have terrible luck with women because they are TRAGICALLY boring.

[EZ_Shamsung]

No it's not jerks they go after. Women go after that confident dude that is rich and it doesn't matter how big it is...