Kaielen
09-17-03, 07:09 AM
Office space...cubicle... You get the drift. Low tolerance, minimal privacy. We each get a recycle bin and a trash can. There are custodial technicians (janitors) that come around and empty them once a day. Do you all remember Captain Caveman from this post?
Well, anyway, this guy is nyuck-nyucking it up with the guy in the cubicle next to mine when he suddenly has a coughing fit. Now, I'm not talking like clearing his throat or a "ahem" type cough. I'm talking the "I think there is phlegm in the lowest vestibules of my lungs, I'm going to dislodge it now" type of cough. So he starts this gutteral, gurgling, cough that sounds like the velociraptors off of Jurassic Park, and comes up with what has to be the biggest lung cookie on the planet. He looks around for a second, and the closest thing he sees is my innocent little trashcan.
PTOOEY!
For a moment I'm shocked as this giant gob of green @#%$ just "PLOPS" into my waste recepticle. When I finally overcome my shock (and make sure that whatever it was his lungs just gave birth to isn't going to jump out of the trash can and pull an Alien type of mutation and skitter across the floor) I look up to give him the classic, "You are a stupid @#%$ and deserve to die" look, but he's already back to talking to his buddy.
I absolutely love it. THAT's the reason I came to work here! I REMEMBER NOW! I wanted to come in and watch some middle aged, disgusting, unshaven, unkempt, caveman bark up a snot milkshake into my trashcan. I @#%$ LOVE THIS JOB! The next time I'm here and noone else is around I'm going to TAKE A @#%$ IN YOUR DESK DRAWER AND WHIZ ALL OVER YOUR CHAIR! It's the same freaking principal as what you just did. You might as well just cover one nosril and pump a wad out of the open one right into the can. That way you don't have to make that face that makes you look constipated when you have to bring up that mucous!
On a positive note...I skipped breakfast today.
Well, anyway, this guy is nyuck-nyucking it up with the guy in the cubicle next to mine when he suddenly has a coughing fit. Now, I'm not talking like clearing his throat or a "ahem" type cough. I'm talking the "I think there is phlegm in the lowest vestibules of my lungs, I'm going to dislodge it now" type of cough. So he starts this gutteral, gurgling, cough that sounds like the velociraptors off of Jurassic Park, and comes up with what has to be the biggest lung cookie on the planet. He looks around for a second, and the closest thing he sees is my innocent little trashcan.
PTOOEY!
For a moment I'm shocked as this giant gob of green @#%$ just "PLOPS" into my waste recepticle. When I finally overcome my shock (and make sure that whatever it was his lungs just gave birth to isn't going to jump out of the trash can and pull an Alien type of mutation and skitter across the floor) I look up to give him the classic, "You are a stupid @#%$ and deserve to die" look, but he's already back to talking to his buddy.
I absolutely love it. THAT's the reason I came to work here! I REMEMBER NOW! I wanted to come in and watch some middle aged, disgusting, unshaven, unkempt, caveman bark up a snot milkshake into my trashcan. I @#%$ LOVE THIS JOB! The next time I'm here and noone else is around I'm going to TAKE A @#%$ IN YOUR DESK DRAWER AND WHIZ ALL OVER YOUR CHAIR! It's the same freaking principal as what you just did. You might as well just cover one nosril and pump a wad out of the open one right into the can. That way you don't have to make that face that makes you look constipated when you have to bring up that mucous!
On a positive note...I skipped breakfast today.