Kaielen
10-08-03, 10:35 AM
So, here we go again. The adventure never ends.
I work for the government. I'm an accountant for the U.S.D.A. What I do is very important. I work the accounts for the underprivaledged farmers in the United States. They get loans at decreased rates from us instead of getting screwed by a bank. We also have programs in place to help them if, say, a tornado comes down and sucks up all their crops. So, it is VERY important that I practice the utmost care and expertise when working transactions that are going to change the information on these farmers' multi-million (yes, some farms cost that much) dollar accounts.
Anyway, we, of course, generate a LOT of mail here. So, we have a mailroom. These employees are contractors, but they must still abide by government contract, and they must also conform to the employees' preferences. However, some mailroom people seem to have forgotten their role as a support function. They mail our paperwork, and they deliver the paperwork that our state offices send to us. The mailroom employee contract was awarded to a company that hires people with MILD problems, i.e misc. medical/mental problems including but not limited to schizophrenia, asthma, bipolarity, etc.
There is one woman that works down there in particular who seems to think she has free reign here in my branch...and who can also issue orders to me and other accountants about our mail and our files and also bring in misc. stupid @#%$ for show and tell. This rant's for you.
You stupid @#%$ BITCH! So you think that bringing in the kid's toy you bought from Wally World is CUTE! Are you a RETARD!? Oh! That's right you ARE a @#%$ retard, aren't you!? You work in the mail room! Well, listen up. That @#% damn singing Coke can you brought in for Christmas last year and played TWENTY FIVE MOTHER @#%$ TIMES was annoying! That idiodic singing fish was the all time winner, lady. You know what? I heard the fish in Wal-Mart when I walked by and pushed the button. If I have to hear your scaley rubber bastard sing "Take me to the River" one more @#%$ time, I'm going to jam him up your fat bubbley ass and make sure that every time you sit down you're jamming out to one of his retarded @#%$ songs!
The two God damned Winnie-the-Pooh dolls that sing to one another were annoying too! I love Winnie and Tigger as much as the next person, but if I have to hear it again I'm going to beat you so hard you'll be begging for Christopher Robin to save you!
Remember the God forsaken Furbies? Yeah, she brought one of those in too. I swear to God, if there was ever an annoying toy, this one is it. With it's noncoherent, incessant babbling and every once in awhile muttering a mommy or daddy, I can understand why you like it. It's vocabulary skills are on par with YOURS! Bring that thing back, I want to teach it to say @#%$ YOU AND DIE YOU FAT STUPID WHITE HAIRED ANNOYING BITCH! Go to Wal-Mart with a hundred dollar bill and see how many of those annoying things will fit down your THROAT, because that is where they are going to end up!
Ohhh, how wonderful. You've found something that plays the theme from Grease over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER! I @#%$ LOVE IT! Push the mother @#%$ button a 28th time, because I didn't hear it all the other times! You stupid worthless ninny twit, I can hear that @#%$ OVER MY HEADPHONES! Old McDonald is going to have one seriously @#%$ UP account when I'm listening to that garbage instead of paying attention to his 2 million dollar account. I hope to GOD I get his monthly payment right, otherwise when he comes after me with his double barrel shotgun, I'm sending him to YOU! Show him the fish, he'll @#%$ LOVE IT!
I swear to God if you play that piece of @#%$ Grease theme one more time I am going to go to a John Travolta souvenier auction so that I can BUY GREASED LIGHTNING AND DRIVE IT UP YOUR FAT ASS! It will FIT TOO! What @#%$ ailment did you have to get this job besides serious mental retardation? Cheeseburger addiction? Take that annoying piece of @#%$ back to YOUR OFFICE, let the retard drool run down your chin, and push that @#%$ button as many times as you want!
Edit: Wow, how did THAT get past the filter? Edited by: Kaielen at: 10/8/03 9:40 am
I work for the government. I'm an accountant for the U.S.D.A. What I do is very important. I work the accounts for the underprivaledged farmers in the United States. They get loans at decreased rates from us instead of getting screwed by a bank. We also have programs in place to help them if, say, a tornado comes down and sucks up all their crops. So, it is VERY important that I practice the utmost care and expertise when working transactions that are going to change the information on these farmers' multi-million (yes, some farms cost that much) dollar accounts.
Anyway, we, of course, generate a LOT of mail here. So, we have a mailroom. These employees are contractors, but they must still abide by government contract, and they must also conform to the employees' preferences. However, some mailroom people seem to have forgotten their role as a support function. They mail our paperwork, and they deliver the paperwork that our state offices send to us. The mailroom employee contract was awarded to a company that hires people with MILD problems, i.e misc. medical/mental problems including but not limited to schizophrenia, asthma, bipolarity, etc.
There is one woman that works down there in particular who seems to think she has free reign here in my branch...and who can also issue orders to me and other accountants about our mail and our files and also bring in misc. stupid @#%$ for show and tell. This rant's for you.
You stupid @#%$ BITCH! So you think that bringing in the kid's toy you bought from Wally World is CUTE! Are you a RETARD!? Oh! That's right you ARE a @#%$ retard, aren't you!? You work in the mail room! Well, listen up. That @#% damn singing Coke can you brought in for Christmas last year and played TWENTY FIVE MOTHER @#%$ TIMES was annoying! That idiodic singing fish was the all time winner, lady. You know what? I heard the fish in Wal-Mart when I walked by and pushed the button. If I have to hear your scaley rubber bastard sing "Take me to the River" one more @#%$ time, I'm going to jam him up your fat bubbley ass and make sure that every time you sit down you're jamming out to one of his retarded @#%$ songs!
The two God damned Winnie-the-Pooh dolls that sing to one another were annoying too! I love Winnie and Tigger as much as the next person, but if I have to hear it again I'm going to beat you so hard you'll be begging for Christopher Robin to save you!
Remember the God forsaken Furbies? Yeah, she brought one of those in too. I swear to God, if there was ever an annoying toy, this one is it. With it's noncoherent, incessant babbling and every once in awhile muttering a mommy or daddy, I can understand why you like it. It's vocabulary skills are on par with YOURS! Bring that thing back, I want to teach it to say @#%$ YOU AND DIE YOU FAT STUPID WHITE HAIRED ANNOYING BITCH! Go to Wal-Mart with a hundred dollar bill and see how many of those annoying things will fit down your THROAT, because that is where they are going to end up!
Ohhh, how wonderful. You've found something that plays the theme from Grease over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER! I @#%$ LOVE IT! Push the mother @#%$ button a 28th time, because I didn't hear it all the other times! You stupid worthless ninny twit, I can hear that @#%$ OVER MY HEADPHONES! Old McDonald is going to have one seriously @#%$ UP account when I'm listening to that garbage instead of paying attention to his 2 million dollar account. I hope to GOD I get his monthly payment right, otherwise when he comes after me with his double barrel shotgun, I'm sending him to YOU! Show him the fish, he'll @#%$ LOVE IT!
I swear to God if you play that piece of @#%$ Grease theme one more time I am going to go to a John Travolta souvenier auction so that I can BUY GREASED LIGHTNING AND DRIVE IT UP YOUR FAT ASS! It will FIT TOO! What @#%$ ailment did you have to get this job besides serious mental retardation? Cheeseburger addiction? Take that annoying piece of @#%$ back to YOUR OFFICE, let the retard drool run down your chin, and push that @#%$ button as many times as you want!
Edit: Wow, how did THAT get past the filter? Edited by: Kaielen at: 10/8/03 9:40 am