Kaielen
10-15-03, 12:54 PM
Alright...I'm almost cool with everything trivial that happens here. It sets me off...but I can jump back to work and deal with it in intervals.
The Marines have a training facility here on our government complex. It's not their fault for needing supplies. The mailman left a package for the Marines outside of our office (IN THE OPEN HALLWAY) overnight...where cleaning crew members, contractors, and maintenence people walk by all the time, day and night.
So the mailroom employees come in for work today, and they take the package inside the mailroom and set it on a desk and leave it there until a few minutes ago.
Well...one of the geniuses happens to run it through the x-ray machine and finds something suspicious. I'm down there going through some old files looking for a bankruptcy folder when they ask me to take a look, seeing as how I'm the only one within earshot who has had any kind of law enforcement training.
I see a large bundle of stuff that is slightly transparent and another seperate bundle of small metal cylinders (metal because they appear much, much clearer on the screen). I run the conveyor belt the rest of the way through and...LOW AND @#%$ BEHOLD!
The mother @#%$ says EXPLOSIVES on EVERY side! Well, HOLY @#%$! You people are simply the cream of the ever loving @#%$ crop! It's a GOD DAMNED BOMB! It even SAYS SO ON THE SIDES, TOP, AND BOTTOM!
Well...needless to say, I was almost in need of a clean pair of shorts. I would have dropped the box and ran from the building screaming like a girl, but my testicles had dropped down my pant legs and begun to cower inside my SOCKS! So I calmly set the package down, and ask everyone to leave the mailroom so that I can be sure to ask my supervisor what she thinks it is(no pun intended). I, of course, didn't want to cause a panic.
I inform my supervisor...and then she tells me TO GO BACK TO MY @#%$ DESK! Are you INSANE! IT'S A BOX OF @#%$ EXPLOSIVES!
Well...my grandfather just died the other week, and I used up all of my leave for the funeral and preparations. So, like a good Lemming, I COME BACK TO MY DESK TO WONDER WHEN I'M GOING TO GO BOOM!
A few minutes later, she comes back and informs me and everyone else that it was a package of training charges for the Marine Corps.
I can understand losing a box of pens. Or perhaps delivering a case of printer paper to the wrong building. But...
HOW IN THE MOTHER @#%$ HELL DO YOU DELIVER A BOX OF TRAINING CHARGES TO THE WRONG @#%$ PLACE! We are GOVERNMENT WORKERS! We're scared to death since 9-11! We are reminded of it EVERY DAY when we come into work and have to go through a guarded gate where they search your car and check your identification! THANK YOU FOR THE BOWEL CLEANSING EXPERIENCE YOU HIPPY! CAN ALL OF YOU PEOPLE NOT READ!? Do you REALIZE that some of that @#%$ can be detonated by X-Ray devices!!!!????
ARRRRRGH!!!! Stupid ass munching, goat kissing, frog sucking, ass slurping, bone-headed, dirty dog @#%$, mangy, worthless, bastards!
I need prozac...
The Marines have a training facility here on our government complex. It's not their fault for needing supplies. The mailman left a package for the Marines outside of our office (IN THE OPEN HALLWAY) overnight...where cleaning crew members, contractors, and maintenence people walk by all the time, day and night.
So the mailroom employees come in for work today, and they take the package inside the mailroom and set it on a desk and leave it there until a few minutes ago.
Well...one of the geniuses happens to run it through the x-ray machine and finds something suspicious. I'm down there going through some old files looking for a bankruptcy folder when they ask me to take a look, seeing as how I'm the only one within earshot who has had any kind of law enforcement training.
I see a large bundle of stuff that is slightly transparent and another seperate bundle of small metal cylinders (metal because they appear much, much clearer on the screen). I run the conveyor belt the rest of the way through and...LOW AND @#%$ BEHOLD!
The mother @#%$ says EXPLOSIVES on EVERY side! Well, HOLY @#%$! You people are simply the cream of the ever loving @#%$ crop! It's a GOD DAMNED BOMB! It even SAYS SO ON THE SIDES, TOP, AND BOTTOM!
Well...needless to say, I was almost in need of a clean pair of shorts. I would have dropped the box and ran from the building screaming like a girl, but my testicles had dropped down my pant legs and begun to cower inside my SOCKS! So I calmly set the package down, and ask everyone to leave the mailroom so that I can be sure to ask my supervisor what she thinks it is(no pun intended). I, of course, didn't want to cause a panic.
I inform my supervisor...and then she tells me TO GO BACK TO MY @#%$ DESK! Are you INSANE! IT'S A BOX OF @#%$ EXPLOSIVES!
Well...my grandfather just died the other week, and I used up all of my leave for the funeral and preparations. So, like a good Lemming, I COME BACK TO MY DESK TO WONDER WHEN I'M GOING TO GO BOOM!
A few minutes later, she comes back and informs me and everyone else that it was a package of training charges for the Marine Corps.
I can understand losing a box of pens. Or perhaps delivering a case of printer paper to the wrong building. But...
HOW IN THE MOTHER @#%$ HELL DO YOU DELIVER A BOX OF TRAINING CHARGES TO THE WRONG @#%$ PLACE! We are GOVERNMENT WORKERS! We're scared to death since 9-11! We are reminded of it EVERY DAY when we come into work and have to go through a guarded gate where they search your car and check your identification! THANK YOU FOR THE BOWEL CLEANSING EXPERIENCE YOU HIPPY! CAN ALL OF YOU PEOPLE NOT READ!? Do you REALIZE that some of that @#%$ can be detonated by X-Ray devices!!!!????
ARRRRRGH!!!! Stupid ass munching, goat kissing, frog sucking, ass slurping, bone-headed, dirty dog @#%$, mangy, worthless, bastards!
I need prozac...