Worst Death Ever.

[Tandom]

Nawen (Male Human Wizard) got his family jailed and some of us were given the option to either help him find an item or die. So there we are trotting in a dungeon and he and my character (Muagwa Female Dwarven Warrior) get into an argument. Then this idiot decides to try to cast "sleep" on me mid argument..... I resisted.... I get royally ticked and decide that I'm going to teach this little brat a lession he won't soon forget.

Since I'm about the right hight to him I call for a "punch to the 'Jimmies'"....... I roll a 20.... I do quad damage with my fist.. he fails his dodge and I punch him for 24 points of damage against his total 15 Hitpoints.


he dies...... All of this happened in the first 15 minutes of the first session.

here is his "Tombstone"



what's your best death?
Tandom Eightfingers
51st R()gue of Veeshan
Backstab means never having to say you're sorry.

[EZ_Cordo Crowfoot]

Assuming this is 3rd edition from the record sheet.

1) Punches (unless you are a monk or take a -4 to hit to convert) do subdual, not normal damage

2) Punches are x2 crits, like most natural weapons, so you should be doing x2, not x4

3) Most likely he would have slept himself and had to make a save as well since sleep is an area effect spell (unless he was good enough to place the range just far enough back to hit your character but not him, I would have made him roll to do so)

4) DM probably should have let you roll initiative against him as soon as you saw him casting unless it was a quickened spell (impossible at first level)...

[Glip the Gnome]

Each group plays their own way, he's fine

I've got a few good ones (none of them are me though! Mwaha) that I don't have time to type up tonight, will get them up tomorrow though Glip the Gnome
Best Smelling Admin: The Safehouse
Overlord of Doom: The Scurvy Dog Buffet
Where are my pants?

[DarthEnder]

I once played a modern vampire who died cause he got a wooden surfboard shoved so far up his ass it pierced his heart.

[EZ_Kintire]

It wasn't actually me, but a friend of mine was playing a warrior in rolemaster. The only healer in the party was one of the sort who transfer wounds to themselves and then self heal. They were in a fairly routine orc fight when one of their opponents got a horrendous overroll followed by an awesome crit, and smashed the warrior in the joy department with a morningstar, shattering his pelvis and driving his balls up into his stomach.

With the orc dead he lay on the floor writhing in hideous agony. Up sprints the healer, takes a long look and says..

'ummmmm..... no.'

My friend was GM me next day. That was grim.

[EZ_Turlo]

I was playing a gnome illusionist who was...well, annoying...to the group. Another party member had an intelligent sword that, unknown to him, he did NOT have under control. It had a purpose to destroy wraiths. During an incident with the party, I was running away to let them cool their heads. I used wraithform to slide through the walls. The sword took control of the warrior, and pretty much annihilated me. Turlo Lomon
56 Blackguard of Drinal
Officer of Raised By ProphecyProfile Equipment

[EZ_Matheren]

I had a long-time shaman in shadowrun killed by the gm who didn't like the fact that I was playing the character. killed me with some rigger's sentry, he needed a 24 to hit me but only rolled his d6's once. blatant cheating


Math

[EZ_Pearll]

In one of my Rifts sessions, my changling ninja killed an enemy by tripping and falling on the guy, sword facing downward.

Almost as much fun as the NPC faerie in our party that liked to play with the enemies' missiles

[EZ_Aalex Nightshade]

I played in one campaign where the GM allowed for great criticals on a roll of 20 but horrible weapon mishaps on a roll of 1. In one case our main warrior rolled a 1, lost control of his weapon, and accidently chopped off our clerics head (I think we were all 1st and 2nd lvl at the time.)

Gees I miss the good ole days

-Aalex-

[EZ_Kethaal]

Playing SLA Industries I had a Sniper (the cat-like race, can't remember offhand) that was doing an awesome job providing cover fire for my gang when I get blasted in the back by a guy wielding an auto-shotgun. I was really pissed off after that. My next character was a close-combat specialist (same race) that I modeled after the character Vincent Wolfe from Pulp Fiction.

Then again, in 2nd Edition I had a 58th level warrior / cleric that I played three days a week for half a year that survived re-entry onto a planet from a spaceship. I think he prayed the whole way down. lol

[Glip the Gnome]

A couple that've happeend to friends:


The party was deep in a keep that was a pseudo dungeon. They were pretty battered, and on their wits end after many encounters with wraithes, ghasts, etc... So a new player is joining the group at the start of this session, and he's playing a psionisist. He decides he wants to impress the group so for his "grand entrance" he makes himself glow, and floats down through the ceiling of the room the group is in.

Needless to say, the party -- thinking he another wraith, make short work of him.


--

Group had split up to explore an old estate house that had been overrun by baddies. The fighter/mage was exploring upstairs when he came into a dark room. He looked around and saw another door at the far end of it, so he creeps over and opens it up.

He see some movement in the room and decides that a pre-emptive strike is his best option. So he blasts a fireball into what just a mirror at the back of a small closet.

Always have a lightsource!


--

Waaaay back when I was just starting Glip (who's now 14/15th level gnome illusionist/thief) my adventuring partner was my friend Jansan, a necromancer. Neither of us had many hit points, so we had to be careful with fights. We always tried to win without actually having to get out our weapons.

We'd just hit second level, I believe when we came across an arqubus (which, as well as any form of primitive firearm, have since been banned from our games).

When we came into possession of it, we were on our way to rid a small town of a kobold camp outside its boundries. Using my only illusion spells plus my disguise skill I was able to make myself appear to be a kobold, and Jansan, my human friend was my "prisoner" who said he had a gift for the kobold chief.

His "gift" was a magic viewing tube (the arqubus) which "could predict the future to anyone who looked into it."

Now, I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the rules for arqubuses, so I'll explain them real quick. If you roll a critical fumble with them, you take the damage. Damage is 1d10 and if you roll a 10, you can roll again and make it cumulative.

So naturally, Jansan crit fumbles and blows himself up -- right infront of a bewildered kobold chief and me, who is now in a rather tough spot.

[Jhani Vandolay]

I can't even justify writing about any of my deaths, because as stupid as they can be, every time I think of one I remember one of my friends who tends to get witch-hunted and slain through cheating (kinda frequently.. ). And no normal death story can compete with those drawn out "I'll pull stuff out of my ass until you are dead, damnit!" fiascos. Not to claim the status of a "real professional" in any one endeavor has been a small price to pay for the many benefits and pleasures of trespassing. ~Leo Lionni

[EZ_Stytch Yapgud]

Not a death as I survived...but it hurt.

My Friend wrote his own adventure for us to go in. It was a Town he called Sanctuary which was out in the wilds (frontier style) and we were sent in by the governor of the region cos nothing had been heard from the town.

The GM had a Mage that he would normaly play as an npc and go in with us (we took turns gming and the gms character would be played as an npc) but I should have known it was gonna be a bad time when he siad his mage was just teleporting us in and we we could take our followers and henchman.

I was the lowest member of the party and I was a 17th Halfling Rogue( yeah I know Im predictable...he is my highest and longest played dnd character) their were 5 of us all with at least 3 henchman each of around 8th to 10th.

I wont bore you with the whole story and all the details of WHY I WAS THE ONLY SURVIVOR!

But I got out alone and down to 3hps! and at 14th level!

Man I never got over that! I havnt played him much since as whilst that group occasionally see other now we rarley play dnd together anymore (this was at 6th form ie 16-18 UK college and Im 33 now)

[EZ_Qutsemnie]

i had my hobbit rogue hurled at a bull elephant once.... if i told you why it wouldnt help. so there is the big brawny human warrior spinning around with my legs in his hands and he flings me skyward towards the bull elephant. turns out thats a good way for a hobbit rogue to die.

[EZ_Kintire]

That is so cool! another perfect use for halflings! I gotta try that...

[EZ_Kehvrynne]

Hobbit tossing: the favorite sport at every Midsummer Faire!

"Step right up, folks! Two coppers, see if you can hit the elephant with the halfling! Winner every time!"

Kehvrynne Quickblade, Professional Damsel of Distress
No matter how subtle the wizard, a dirk between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style.Edited by: Kehvrynne at: 4/9/02 5:47:20 am

[Dragynphyre]

We had the module from hell. The RPGA said it was for level 1-2, but the first thing we happen across is an Owlbear (wounded, but still, it HURTS at level 1), we lose 1 party member, as well as the farmer that the owlbear is harrassing.

We survive, bury the dead one, and carry another unconscious party member to the nearby farmhouse where we are then ambushed that night by orcs.

An orc shaman steps up in front of me, and without even breaking a sweat, slashes me so hard I (an elven rogue) pretty much come apart in the middle (was down to a -9), and spray blood across the entire room.

The funniest thing about this module though, is that we needed someone with a 'talk with animals' type spell... which isn't available till something like level 3 for druid/ranger types...I forget, as I hardly ever play anything but some sort of rogue. ;)

Needless to say, we scrapped this module as unplayable after trying to get through it some 3 times. We've also since decided not to update our RPGA memberships. :) Delissandra Splitshadow, Wielder of the Rapier Wit
Aileena Brellious, Kegmistress of Brell
Yinka Din`Kadoo
Arzza Mojomama

[EZ_Zlater ShadowProwler]

Wouldnt call it the worst.. but here goes...

Rogues death:

My third level Rogue was on watch one night when I spot 2 bears coming into the camp ( We were after an evil bard that had pipes that charmed animals ). I call a warning to the group to wake up and go to climb the Tree next to me. The bears of course bore in on me now that I yelled out. Rolled my climb check for a 1. DM had me fall on my ass and looked up into jaws!! needless to say, I became fodder!!!

This lead me to roll a Ranger...

My Rangers death was more fun.. I was lvl 6 and had a wolf for a companion. Entire party moves into a room to attack an Evil mage. I Rolled the worst on Initative so I was not in the room yet, even tho my wolf was. THe Mage casts ICE STORM AE spell.. The mages Familiar Dies.. My wolf dies.. The mage goes unconscious ( we had been fighting Trolls before hand ). I am unaffected as I was not in the room.. The mage TEleports out and we fight some more trolls. We figure out that the Mage was escaping to a boat so me and the monk run off towards the exit, where we encounter more Trolls. Now my Ranger had Giants as his favored enemy, so I'm doing +2 damage to these guys. I had been kicking serious buttocks. I get 2 Trolls cornered and the Monk runs on after the mage so I go to kill some more Trolls. One lands 2 hits on me and I find out about their special ability. They bascially grab both your arms and tear you apart.. I had 30 someodd hp at the time and the GM starts to roll damage while I sat there waiting to hear if I was dead... He rolls his dice, looks up at me with a smirk and says this verbatim...

" err Zlater..You uh... "
He picks up the miniature I used for my wolf and puts it in the doorway of the room nearby.
" You see dead pet wolfy in an ethereal form enter the room and say.. Come into the light Zlater... "

If I wasnt laughing so hard, I might have been upset.

[EZ_Anni D]

I was playing an evil mage/thief, and my friend was playing a neutral warrior.

We had just finished our first adventure, and were talking to the mayor about our reward. I don't remember exactly what they mayor said, but I didnt like it and threw my dagger in his chest.

That was a really great move, until he shouted for help. Apparently town mayors have a good amount of guards. Thinking quickly, I ran across the room and jumped out the window, dashing away. The warrior tried to follow me, but broke his leg on the fall, and was sumarilly dismissed by the guards.

-Moon A.K.A.MoonflowerNightshade/SeamstressHibernia-GuinivereI taste like Nuclear Waste. Delicious.

Tasting like nuclear waste is a good thing - nothing bites me, nothing eats me, few things even touch me. I appreciate the solitude my harsh exterior brings. What Flavour Are You?

[EZ_Dading001]

playing heavy gear...

me and my friend needed cash to buy weapons... we went to a bar and a gay guy hit on me... i went to his house, tried to kill him... made noise, ganked his tv before the cops came... but was stuck in the house with neighbors at the door... jumped out the window... broke my leg... limped to the alley, cops found me and i hid in a trash can after i gave my friend the tv... they passed me by... but then came back... and asked what i was doing in the trash can... i told them the burgular beat me up and i was a bum... they didnt believe me so they beat me up more... i eventually went unconscious and woke up in a hospital with all my stuff gone

[Glip the Gnome]

Wasn't that an MTV movie special Dading?

[Mardoc the Dwarf]

Mind would have to be:

My group were all around lvl 15, and we had come to possess a fly castle. And it flew fast. I was a dwarf Mechanic(custom class my gm made, pretty much a tinkerer, but dwarf only) so i'm the only one who new how to fly it.

So the whole groups goes off on an adventure, but I decide to stay back and fix the castle, been running a bit sluggishly. I'm wondering around the castle basement looking for the problem when I come across the power crystal. I roll an INT check to see if I know whats wrong.

My character is dumb so I think it's pressing against the frame too closely. So I get up and jump on it to try to move it downwards. It does move downwards....hitting the dragon, that none of us knew about. The dragon was hidden in lower level as protection for the castle. Angered by this the dragon attacks the crystal. Which explodes in a broken wand like effect.

Party comes back later to find pieces of crystal everywhere, but that castle is no where to be found.

[EZ_Ronix Praetoriax]

I had a warrior... He survived EVERYTHING. Demon chewed his arm off? We patched him up and quested a magical arm. Dragon closed his jaws around the entire upper torso? Tis but a flesh wound! (and chronic gas due to intestinal injuries) I could list a dozen, he was the warrior that never died, and skill had NOTHING to do with it /grin

Mardoc's story reminded me of his death though. We were big dragonlance readers at the time, and flying citadels were all the rage Our campaign was nearing an end, and an epic battle was taking place. (For those unaware of gibberlings they are basically VERY low level critters that can be best described as a hairball with ALOT of teeth, and an attitude to match)

Our party led a mission into the flying citadel, which floated above the ranks of evil who were busy cutting the army of good to ribbons. We split up to find the control room. My warrior came across a cavernous room with gibberlings scattering about... looked like a good 10-20 of them. I cackled with glee and charged, slaughtering for the sheer joy of it. 5 down, 10 down, 20 down... 30... hmm still 30 to go... where are they all coming from...

Ah, the sick GM... gibberlings that had been cross bred with trolls... Every kill compunded my troubles. When I was found, only my armor, and a magical metallic arm remained, I had been eaten by gibberlings. /grin

[Mardoc the Dwarf]

hhahahhah gibberlings killed you. Almost sad.

[EZ_Soulstealler]

.... deep in a cave of goblins with our whole party (4 of us) backed into a hallway with 20 or so comming for us and we are all about half health. I ( lvl 5 sorc) turn and use a wand of fire..... bad enouh i got the fireball effect i had also chosen a target that placed me just inside the range of the effect. i made a good roll to avoid the damage but the wand did not... backlashing as it was destroyed by its own effect killing not only myself by the whole party with me. WOOHOOO!

[EZ_BelegurthValar]

This isn't in D&D, but GURPS. My friend was Gm'ing a sort of Angles meets HK action movies sort of campgain, and it'd been going pretty well. Then, at teh crucial scene, some random Police officer mook shoots my character. He makes a roll, critical success. No Dodge roll, ow. He rolls location: Heart. Rolls on Crit Hit table: 3X Damage. Plus, getting hit to the heart is 3X damage. :P Pain. He rolls second Location: Brain. Rolls Crit Hit Table: 3X Damage agian. And Brain is 4X damage. (Note, this was with an Automatic Shotgun, firing Slugs :P) So, he rolls damage, and it comes to almost 300 damge. It woulda taken 75 to kill my character outright.
Was indeed Pain. Most damage i've EVER seen in Gurps in one shot. [b]Machin Shin, Xegony

[EZ_Telurinon]

This one happened in my game last night.

Room, 30 feet across. Offset slightly from the middle is a ravine, unknown depth. On the far side is a 5 foot ledge with three door openings and a mural repeated 4 times (between each opening and the sidewalls.) Also on the far ledge are three peacocks. We have seen the peacocks twice before in the place and they did nothing.

I state "I move forward a bit so I can see how deep the ravine is." As I step forward to examine this, two of the peacocks turn and look at me. Nothing unusual, there is movement towards them, they are being defensive. Then they spread their plumage and the badness starts.

"I need you to make two will saves." says the GM. Well, being a Cleric/Sorceress this is my best save category. No problem, I think.

Rolls: 12 + 11= 23 and 5 + 11 = 16.

GM: "You are completely fascinated by the plumage of the middle bird and everything else fades out around you. All you want to do is get closer to the bird."

So, dazedly, I begin walking towards the birds...and the ravine of unknown depth. The party Warrior, quickly reacting to the danger, steps forward to pull me back...

"I need you to make two will saving throws." DOH! Rolls: 22 and 16. "You are fascinated and want to walk towards the birds..."

The party druid tries to stop both of us. He makes both of his saves, but only has a 10 strength and even the wimpy weakling cleric/sorceress manages to break away from his grip. Ranger tries, fails Will save. Wizard casts Fly spell on himself and tries...and fails HIS Will Save.

5 people, 4 are "fascinated" and moving toward the ravine edge. I am the first to reach it and over the edge I go. Fortunately, I have an item that is Intelligent and ALSO has Feather Fall 1/day -- as I begin falling, it calls upon my Goddess and poof, I begin floating downward...

Big Fighter is the next over. He falls...and falls...and falls. 150' later, he hits bottom. "You take 64 points of damage. Make a Fortitude save, please." Roll: 18. "Ok, you don't die from sudden shock (death from Massive Damage rule) -- how are you on Hit Points?" Fighter "I have 13 hp left...I'm broken, but alive."

Next up, party Ranger. He falls 150' and takes 66 damage. "Yes! I have 5hp left!" GM: "Make a fortitude save for Massive Damage."

Player rolls a 13.

GM "By the amount of physical damage you took, you could probably have lived through it, but the amount of shock to your system is just too much."

The party wizard, with Flight on, flew over the Ravine and sat in front of the Peacock hovering for a while, then finally broke from of it's hold.

Poor Stogar. What a horrible way to die. But, it was damn funny. Telurinon Aelvenborne, 51st Rake of Black IsleMangore Orcsplitter, 39th Warrior of Black IsleDewin gan'Bran, 25th Wizard of black Isle
Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.

[EZ_Heartsong Steelsoul]

My best story is about an ex-boyfriend who was a sad, sad roleplayer, set in a world designed by the GM with rules designed by the GM.


Anyway... the group of us are frantically running down a switchback trail while the enemy is going down with this enormous open air lift system... or maybe it was the other way around. Anyway, this guy decides he's going to jump off because there's water down there.

<roll of dice>

... surprisingly shallow water.

Heartsong

[Dragynphyre]

Did I ever tell you about the one where I tried to asphyxiate a noisy poodle by having it's very large and voluptuous female owner roll over it in her sleep?

Luckily for the pooch, the featherbed was really quite soft, and the dog just kinda got a bit squished, but not too badly injured.

Wish I'd gotten to finish up that game, the GM was pulling it right off the top of her head and it was hilarious!! Her husband was playing this mage that only had to smile at women and they'd do his bidding, even my poor rogue had a hard time resisting him with those big, limpid blue pools looking at them and silently promising such pleasures as one could only dream of.... *drool*

[Krimzan]

The worst death I've caused was during a part of a campaign, our DM made us fight eachother tournament style. The ranger thought he was very clever and he ran around enervating people until they were llevel 4 or so and then killing them. The now-infamous, Snowflake, (slayer of dragons, savior of at least 2 party members, lover of the Dark Elven Queen, owner of the pearl tower, and first person to ever "teleport back for a quickie") was in the finals against the ranger, and it was my initiative. I put him in a sphere of force to give me some time to think. After a few minutes I had my solution. I cast 3 delayed blast fireballs and timed them to explode the same round, also the same round the sphere of force around him dropped. I placed them on top of the sphere, then cast another sphere of force around him. Then just sat back and watched the explosion.

"Do I get a reflex save?"
"You're inside a sphere which is a quarter of the blast radius...where are you going to go?"

It was a thing of beauty. Krimzan Anklestabber
Anarchia (Neutral)- Sullon Zek "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
-Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy View todays stats for Sullon Zek!

[EZ_Dading001]

Quote: Wasn't that an MTV movie special Dading?

lol... nope, was a funny as hell night though... i got mad when my friend kept all the money from the tv!

[EZ_Zoogie]

Quote:
"You're inside a sphere which is a quarter of the blast radius...where are you going to go?"


Haha, I liked that story! Bravo, Krimzan!

[EZ_Acobar]

We had a fighter in our party, which was pretty powerful (and evil) of a wizard/psionisist, cleric/psionicist, anti-paladin, a rogue, a spellsinger and two fighters. It started off in a corridor we had to go down, which I, the wizard noticed glyphs on the wall, which had a riddle on it.

I don't remember the riddle anymore, but I had correctly guessed the riddle, and was aware of the trap (or so I thought). So I came to an area that looked like the right area for the trap, so I recited the passage for the riddle and continued.

At a second area just like it, I hesitated, and decided that I was safe, since I already said the passage for the riddle. Too bad I said the whole answer, and not the three parts separately. Anyways, I barely survive, and we continue with the same results at the third area.

At the end(ish) of the third corridor, we come upon an efreet and a dozen salamanders. We start fighting, and the rogue decides he is going to run, and crosses the last trap area without saying the riddle. He fails his save, and is blasted to death with some magic I can't remember.

We get half the salamanders killed, and we are starting to hurt a bit, and the fight looks like we might make it out if we are lucky. One of the fighters (who wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer) got a ring that could open a portal to the elemental plane of fire that no one really wanted. He took the ring and summoned a portal, which of course opened the portal.

Unfortunately, the efreet laughed loudly and summoned a few elemental lords and the rest was history. I think the cleric and I escaped by becoming ethreal.

Afterwards, we asked him what in the world made him summon it, and he says "What?! I thought he might have wanted to go home!"

[EZ_Arafain]

Hehe, Ronix still has the winner so far. -- Veteran Arafain Entreri, 60 Assassin
-- Arafein Soulstriker, 54 Champion Relic
-- Arafax Kokorozan, 20 Monk Giantfriend
-- Formerly of Requiem of Souls
-- Formerly of The Rathe Server, now of Zebuxoruk
"Once, in the old west, a gentleman shot a professional gunfighter in the back. When asked why he didn't give the other chap a chance to draw, he replied, 'Well, he's dead and I'm alive and that's how I wanted it to be." -- from <u>Red Planet</u>, Robert A. Heinlein[i]Edited by: Arafain at: 3/24/03 8:03:08 pm

[EZ_Iscin]

In an ultra realistic homebrew game: Kicked by a goat that proceeded to roll ribs/lung for location and thanks to my character's low health and bad roll the kick broke my rib which punctured my lung.

-------------------------------------------------

Close 2nd.

I had a character that was very rich and went into a small town and spent alot of money on carousing and gambling. The constable came and arrested me. I didn't resist since I'd done nothing wrong. Once behind bars the constable informed me the town had gotten together and decided to let me starve to death in my new cell while they did some remodelling with my cash.

------------------------------------------------

Yet another:

I had another character that was very poor but had managed to acquire a magic gem during character creation that was useless to anyone but a wizard (which I was not).

So I went to the nearest town with a guild and found a wizard. I asked him for some cash for the item. He insisted that I simply give him the item. I refused and he called the guards on me, so I swallowed the gem. Apparently this wizard was pretty serious about getting the gem so his guards cut me open and extracted the gem.

I made a phenomenal health roll and survived the gutting. The guards left me in an alleyway. Unable to move I called for help several times. Finally a priest that worshipped the most compassionate deity in the game system came by and looked over my wounds. But he decided, much to my dismay that I was so likely to die that his time was better spent on someone that could be saved.

I tried to strangle the priest but he beat me to death with his bible.

[EZ_Lerkin Behinja]

Alright, we (about six of us, I was playing a Gnomish Rogue) come into this cavern with lava about 50 feet below us. The Fighter in the group decides that they should throw me over a 10-foot gorge to inspect the contents of an enormous treasure chest. So, I unlock the chest, open it up, climb up to get a better look, and *THUD!* the chest closes. Fortunately, I had a rope attached to my waist for retrieval. The Fighter and Barbarian both decide to put some muscle into reclaiming the newfound treasure and I. They thought nothing of the slow progress they were making because of weight. I reach the edge of the gorge. The DM looks at the two guys and says, "Make a Reflex save. One of them fails, meaning he forgot to let go of the rope and followed my plunder and I into a magma bath.
"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing themselves subjectively. There's no such thing as death; life is only a dream and we're imaginations of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather! "
- Tool, Third Eye

[EZ_Swipey]

Our party was hired/drafted (along with many other adventurers) by a small kingdom facing immenent invasion by a foreign army that, among other things, used war elephants.

One of our players was something of a history buff, and convinced the GM to allow him to use a tactic against these fantasy war elephants that was used historically by the Romans against Carthaginian war elephants. Specifically, his plan was to obtain a pig, slather it up in combustibles (pitch, naptha), point it at the elephants, and light it up. The plan was for the pig to run at the elephants, flaming and making a most horrific screaming sound, such that it would spook the elephants and make them unmanageable/of little worth in the battle.

When the time came to execute the plan, our warrior managed to fumble the pig attack so badly that he was trampled AND caught on fire by the pig.

[EZ_Silvermouse]

I begged my step-brother for weeks to teach me to play D&amp;D, so finally he gives in and let's me play. He didn't want to wait as I rolled up a character so he gave me control over some halfling ranger he had.

He takes me on an adventure (I can't remember the name of it...) and the first Lizard Man I encounter crits and kills me. My step-brother never let me play with him again =/

[EZ_GoatsAndGippos]

One time i was playing a Dwarf Wizard (lvl 16) in D&amp;D named Ted Kazinski. He would make bombs and set them up around Cormyr targeting political institutions that favored devolping the woodlands. After a foolish embassy bombing where Ted lost his eye he was spotted and on the run. Using divination Ted knew there was no way out in his cabin in the woods, the kings men would arrive in about 1-2 hours. So i used an extended resist poison scroll and swalloed all my custom made fire bombs (very small about the size of pebbels) Ted's stomach swelled with there size and insited to walk back to Cormyr.. too much motion could upset them. So they take him to the town square where they beheaded him in front of a crowd. Before the guillatoine fell though i contracted my stomach.. detonating them and taking out the town square and all the high level mages.. the only ones who would have been able to control the ensuring fire caused by my explosion.

[Dragynphyre]

I just thought of mine as I was writing up what I usually include in my theif's kit...

A flask of oil

A harmless flask of oil

We were traveling through an area that was densely vegetated, and we stepped onto some spongy grasslike tufts...they sent up tendrils to catch us...and my longsword wasn't doing much to help get us out of this predicament.

So, I managed to grab one of the flasks of oil out of a belt pouch and light it on fire...and drop it into the center of the grassy tuft...and just about instantly kill the thing...

Only problem was, it sent up a cloud of noxious fumes as it burned, and I wasn't able to hold my breath long enough, and inhaled, and died immediately...

(OOC: I actually forget what the darned veggies were called!! - was something out of the 2nd Ed. Monstrous Manual I think) Delissandra Splitshadow - Half-Elven Assassin - "Far Seekers" - The Rathe
So do I feel superior to any druid-twinked post-Kunark still-sucking-at-his-mother's-teat rogue?
You better believe I do!!

[EZ_BD Nightfall]

Quote: he says "What?! I thought he might have wanted to go home!"

ROFL!!! Hahaha, that's friggin' hilarious, man.

[EZ_Kordesh]

This guy diden't die but he might as well have. A druid in our party picked up a METAL mirror *the DM actually asked him repeatedly if he wanted to pick up the METAL mirror and he kept saying yes compleatly oblivious hehe* and lost his druidic abilities. So basically he has been walking around the entire quest with only a cloak on * I stole all his cloths =p* and has no powers.

The closest my character has come to death would be when I blew up a nice section of the town market. I pissed off the owner of a porcubomb shop *a creature that kinda got created by accident. It's a porcupine that has a highly unstable body chemestry and can expload (=* and he threw one at me and missed. He set off all the others =p. I dove out the window before it exploaded taking out that building and the ones around it. The guards came and actually paid me for it because I "got rid of that illegal porcubomb shop" =p.

Nothing is as funny as when I was trying to steal this wyrm hide armor that had a worth of a few million plat and was very uber and got caught so I tired to dive out a window *I was still hidden in shadows*. The window just happened to be reinforced =p. Basically, the image we all got was of a mysterious shadow like person, suddenly appearing from behind a counter, flying up into the window and bouncing off it into the ground =p. I cracked the glass and took about 3 damage hehe.

[EZ_Erolan]

The worst death ever - our entire party of 5 (ranging from level 16-19) was in our DMs favorite dungeon - a wonderful place where no magic less than a full wish worked. Our rogue (who had a luckblade with 1 wish) gets greedy and goes for an obviously trapped chest, at which point a pit opens up, drops him into a deep, narrow pit which immediately begins filling with water.

In such a situation, I would have used a wish (incredibly rare in this campaign btw - only 2 ever given out, and this dungeon was meant specifically to use them up) to make myself more powerful. What does this joker do?

Did he wish he could fly at will? No. Did he wish to be out? No. Did he wish for a rope? No. So what did this "cunning" rogue wish for?

"I wish the other guys were here to help..."

~glub glub glub glub~

[DarthEnder]

Metal mirror? I don't get it. I'll assume it was some second addition thing.

[EZ_Kethaal]

some DMs are nazi's when it comes to druids and say if they pick up anything metal, they lose their powers.

which is all fine and dandy, until you notice that the PHB says they can use *metal* scimitars, and other metal objects, just not wear metal armor.

[EZ_Metaskie]

Was playing my sorcerer/rogue (who finds if very entertaining to annoy the crap out of the local king). One of my party members was a gnome wizard. Everyone knows how sorcerers feel they are better than wizards because of our inborne talents. So we had quite the rivalry.
So there we are, in the Kings throne room about 70ft up from the ground. And the two of us start arguing. Untill the little football cast Silence on me. Now, King Issar had a VERY strick law prohibiting magic use in his throne room without his permission. So he summons one of his gaurds over, and orders the guard to throw the gnome out the window. We had not had a chance to rest after a large battle, so he had no spells left to cast. (Silence was the final spell he had memorized) Now, he is annoying, but he IS a party member, so i jump out the window just after him and try to catch him and use my featherfal. Only then to remember i couldnt cast featherfall while silenced......... Edited by: Metaskie at: 9/1/02 9:47:35 pm

[EZ_DreamspinnerSethan]

Well, my worst time playing?

Had to be the Bard 1st level with a heavy crossbow who couldn't hit a troll at 20 feet. Poor Tiels, hope he gets better by the next time we play.

[EZ_Swipey]

"Only then to remember i couldnt cast featherfall while silenced......... "


DOH!

[EZ_TheatreRat81]

my worst D&D death... playing a rogue in AD&D with 18 dex and 3 strength (yes, that's right. this was my first time ever playing D&D).

got knocked off the side of a cliff into a pit.

DM: Ok, roll dex to see if you catch the wall...

Me: got it.

DM: ok, strength check to see if you can hold on...

Me: ... nope

DM: ok, roll dex to see if you can catch another piece of wall..

(repeat ad nauseum. did i mention this was a BOTTOMLESS pit?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spicer Channal
Not-Quite-Pointy-Ear'd Backstab Machine of the 26th Circle
Korbyn
Mighty Midget Arsekicker Dr00d of the 11th Circle
Strath
Anklebiting-Wannabe-Uber-Evil GNOME! of the 11th Circle
Tarew Marr
Another Brick In The Fourth Wall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[TeanninBramblefeet]

I had a particularly bad one rather recently wherein an orc ripped my limbs off and used me as a football-like projectile weapon against the group's cleric...

*cough* It rolled some insane damage against my little level 2 rogue/1 bard halfling... Teannin Bramblefeet
Level 55 Rogue of Bristlebane in the realm of Morell Thule
Grandmaster Potter
Proud member of Black Claws

Protector of the non Safe Fallers


Backstab watch:
.................................................. ..........................|461

[EZ_Binkee Furrytoes]

played a GURPS character once, was fighting someone, and an unseen person cast Tomb of Earth or something similar, and the ground literally rose and swallowed him.

Me: "Whoa... "
GM: "ok, so what do you do now?"
Me: "Do I need to do a fright check?"
GM: "... yeah, that's a good idea. fright check."
*rolls a 3*
Me: "hmm... not good"
GM: "Roll criticals"
*rolls an 18*
Me: "&amp;@$^!"
GM: "You have a heart attack and die."

[EZ_AnnoNameless]

I was playing a Fair Elf Thief in a rolemaster campaign and our party somehow ends up in the underdark. Well we are moving right along when the GM says to make a roll for hearing...well a couple of us hear something up ahead and determine that something is set to ambush us. Well I decide I'm gonna sneek up and take a look. Make my roll beautifully. The warrior in the group (not a bright individual to begin with) decides he is gonna sneek with me. Having already moved ahead I can't stop him and just kinda shake my head. Well miraculously he rolls out his ass and is sneeking well also. Phew! Then the Paladin (you know the one in the party who is REALLY suppose to have a head on his shoulder?) decides we might needs some light to see by so he sneek up behind us holding the latern in front of him. OH NO! Well ok...we SHOULD be able to see this light suddenly appearing behind us right? Well, both the warrior and myself fail our perception rolls and are oblivious to the light (but boy were we sneeking!) Did I mentioned we KNEW something was waiting to ambush us? Next (and last) thing my Thief sees is half a tree rushing toward his head as he rounds the corner.... &lt;a href="http://www.magelo.com/eq_view_profile.html?num=170782">Tulwein Wabbitswayer&lt;/a>

[EZ_Travelian Mikado]

My friend had this strange campaign... I was a human bard, boisterous by nature, a braggart, and we were mugged by pixies then forced to play hide and go seek. We were escourted into the pixie hive, and I start cracking open treasure chests screaming "Where's my lute!!!"... the damn pixies refused to give it to me, so I punched one, rolled a crit, killed the thing... *Thwack*... they all unload their tiny arrows on me bringing me down to negative 9 hps . Didn't die but I didn't get my lute back either Travelian Mikado - 58 Erudite Enchanter

Jaesin - 52 Gnomish Rogue

[EZ_Swipey]

Bah! You deserved it, going for the Lute before the mobs were all down.

[EZ_Tweil]

'Nother story from playing a Ratling in Rokugan setting (3e rules, d20 of course).

Somehow my 19th level sorceror has pissed off someone in the Astral plane and I now have Gythyankee (however that is spelled) chasing me in the prime material. Well, this one happened to have a nice little weapon with improved crit and vorpal. Lets just say that 4 members of the party were without their heads and quite dead. So there is three of us left and the thing just starts wailing on me. One of the rolls he rolls a crit and lops my head of. Now imagine a 4ft tall ratling-humanoid. Now imagine said ratling holding his head in his left hand and still casting with the right =)

No one in the party knows that I have a spell out of Tomb and Blood (Hide Life) which makes you unkillable until they find that part of your body with the spell on it and dispell it. So I am taking partial actions casting huge spells at this thing while holding my head. Made a great night and lots of questions.

[EZ_Amzin Kwon Do]

This one happened to a friend of mine in a rolemaster game.

We're going through a desert, for whatever reason, on camels. We see the flying evil-looking monsters heading towards us, so we decide to dismount and get ready for battle. I roll like a 350+ on my check(With a bonus of like +6, mind you), giving everyone a bonus to their rolls for a few rounds. Then, my friend roles just about the opposite, falls off the camel, and breaks his neck, no damage, just instant death.

[EZ_tabris2179]

I have to join in... well here is why I never play cyber punk any more, I have been tainted for years cuz of these experiences.

1st to a friend, it is his first tiem ever role playing, he walks out of a bar the gm roles the random encounter table, he is shot in the head and dies instantly.

2nd I am a fixer, go to 7-11 to get some snacks. A few gang members on bikes ride up and mug the owner. I hide and sneak up behind them, Shoot the leader square in the head. He turns around and shoots me with his mini gun, yes a mini gun. The gm didnt mention till I shot him that he was a cyber crazy with a chain saw in his forhead and a mini gun. Why he was holding up a 7-11 is eyond me but I died. Tabris
Phank

[Jem]

I wish I still had that e-mail with the Head of Vecna story.

[Kelthana]

Head of Vecna, huzzah!

[EZ_Bloodshard]

1st ed AD&amp;D

This one was another players death I accidentally caused by trying to do him a favor.

The only player I ever GM'd for that died before he was done making his character. He had just finished rolling his stats &amp; hadn't even bought his equipment yet.

While he was still working on his character I felt nice so I told him I would let him roll for 1 random magic item. No matter what he rolled he would get it. He rolled a Deck of Many Things! A way powerful item! I was amazed!

So I decided to roleplay it for him. I told him while he was still in training one day he found a hidden cave near an old wizards tower that had a deck of cards on a glowing pedestal.

He walked up &amp; drew one card. The Void! His soul was sucked away, character dead.
---

Another death was just silliness on a characters part. We were playing the game Top Secret. An old spy game based on James Bond type adventures. Well when we were buying equipment several of us rolled miserable on cash. We used every cent to purchase a handgun but one guy instead just bought some fancy gadgets &amp; a switchblade.

Well later in the game we were on a ship with some Russian spies. The guy with the switchblade tailed one of them to a room &amp; heard him talking to other agents on a radio. So what does he do?

Kicks open the door &amp; throws his only weapon at the guy. He hit &amp; did a little damage &amp; was promptly shot.

His reply. I didn't know the guy would have a gun. Yeah, a lot of Russian agents on secret missions don't carry firearms. Bloodshard Ogg
Warrior-Chef

'You see in this world there are two kinds of people my friend, those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.'-The Man with No Name

[EZ_kirus greymist]

ummm this is of a friend but still funny as hell
2 of the party members(who didnt get along) were in an inn
and one (the warrior) went to the others room(the caster) so the caster is like oh crqap if he finds me im dead so he pollymorphed himself into a chair(adnd 2nd ed). so the warrior in rage decides to destroy the room and ends up throwing the chair out the 5th floor window killing the caster)

[EZ_Mdar kelf]

Here are some of my stories

In the game I DM, I started off with an odd type of arrow mod. You fire an arrow, and if you miss, you have to roll to see if you hit any one else in the crowd. Now, beleave it or not, the PC's would hit NPCs more often then PCs. One guy kept hitting the guy to the right, no matter what.

Well, in the last battle two arches were standing at a door firing into a room, while other PCs were fighting a tough mofo of a human.

Well, there were two NPCs helping them (They were fighting a level 6 fighter) Well, one was a level 4 monk, and the other one was only level 1. The level one NPC got layed down by an arrow. The groups main meleer, a ranger that had befriended this little goblinoid got mad. He walked over to the elf that had fired the arrow, rolled some mad damage, and basicly splattered the guy across the cave walls.
He took proffesion "painter" afterwords.


In other game where I PC, I was a CN psion(shaper). A CN rogue and I were contacted by a vampire to kill the other members of the party, two clerics, and a theife/sorceror.

We both agree.

We get back to the camp site, and well, one of the clerics had cast wall of stone and had sealed himself in it.
I use "fabricate" and take that stone and, well, made it into a nice chunk o' pavement.

The crunching of bones woke the other cleric up.

Well, the vampire was a cruel creature, and was working with a dragon. The dragon wished back the cleric and his companion. (this was cool cause the guy that was playing it was bummed out, not that he died but because this was a very complex charactor)

Well, the next evening (they didn't know it was me) I sit there and smile, kinda bruised from a fight, while leaning up against a tree. He asks me why I am smiling...

damn. "nothing" bluff.
eventually he finds out I was the one to crush him and I get pinned to the tree I am leaning against.

Mdar Kelf Wizard RtalRogueTest your sig Here
Only on Erollisi Marr
Magelo Mdar Kelf Rtal[i]

[EZ_Urusai]

I remember when I was playing a dwarven techno-wizard once in rifts. Were were supposed to take out this android manufacturing plant. Thy all decided that since I could turn invisible I would go in and scout then come back out and we can make up a plan. So I get in there and start wandering around. Eventually I find a control room and look at some of the controls. Theres a big red button labeled Self-Destruct.
What better way to blow up the plant than to hit its own self-destruct button.
I radio back to the party that im just goign to hit the button and teleport out to them before the countdown hits 0. They agree that its a perfect plan.
I hit the button and BOOM!!! No countdown. The place is entirelly manned by robots so they didnt think they needed a timer.

Characters last thoughts. "Wheres my 5 seconds!"

[EZ_Arafain]

My poor rogue has been having the worst luck lately

First death - pretty run-of-the-mill. Party is on a mission to steal the egg of two GIGANTIC rocs. And by gigantic I mean 747-size. We sneak up on them at night, sleeping, and decide to coup-de-grace them. The warrior and I both get silence cast on us, we sneak up next to their heads, and both coup-de-grace. The warrior is using a weapon that crits x4 (and you automatically crit on coup de grace), plus he has like a 28 strength, so he does like 186 damage and the roc has to roll a fort save DC 196. Nope, it dies. Now, my turn on the second one - I roll miserably on damage and only do about 75, even with my 6d6 of sneak attack. Roc has to make a fortitude save of dc 85. no problem, right?

It succeeds. Then takes 3 attacks on me at +110 to hit and +66 to damage. Needless to say, with about 86 total hit points, it was a very short combat round.

One true resurrection (and 6800 gp later), the party is exploring the ruins of a city that's apparently been taken over by an ancient wyrm red dragon after it's been destroyed. As we approach the main gates to the city, two giant corpses nailed to the wall next to the gates go into a spell incantation, and everyone in the party has to make a will save. We all succeed, except the NPC fighter that's currently helping the party and the freak-of-nature warrior that's been serving as my partner this entire campaign (see entry above). Both the fellows who fail turn pasty white, and the NPC fighter gets instantly teleported somewhere. As we're all looking around trying to figure out what happened, the DM tells my warrior friend, "Xiahou Dun, you've been turned undead and now have an intense hatred for all the living creatures surrounding you. You now have 150 extra hit points, a +10 profane bonus to strength, Damage Reduction 34/+4, a +10 profane bonus on all your saves, and a +15 profane bonus to AC. You need to use all your intelligence (he had an intelligence score of 14, higher than 90% of the party) to figure out how to kill everyone in your group as fast as possible, starting with the biggest threat first, which would be your wizard."

Xiahou Dun has whirlwind attack, and he's standing in the exact center of the party. He uses it. Everyone takes about 40 points of damage, because he's at about +38 to hit right now, except me. He rolls a natural 20 on me and confirms totally effortlessly. 176+ points of damage without even rolling, and he takes my head off in the first attack.

The wizard casts limited wish on him, restoring him to life, and they deal with the NPC fighter while i'm dead. Another resurrection, and life goes on. As we're leaving the city where I've just been resurrected, we run into an obnoxious level 900 wizard that's been causing problems for us for almost six months of RL play time. He captures the NPC warrior that's with us, ignoring our protests, and attempts to sell him into slavery for a religious cause. Another party member pours a potion of teleport down the NPC warrior's throat, and he teleports himself away as he's bound in magic manacles. The NPC wizard, who has tons of nature spells, creates a pool of water on the ground to scry on the NPC fighter to see where he's gone. My character innocuously kicks a rock into the pool of water, disrupting the spell. The NPC wizard looks up at me and goes into a spell incantation.

DM: "Make a saving throw versus fortitude."
Me: "Hey, an 18. All added together, that makes a 29!"
DM: *shakes head sadly...*
DM: (to others) You see your rogue suddenly start to stretch and warp - his feet turn into what look like roots and burrow into the ground. Within a few moments, he appears to have been transformed into a Thayvian pomegranite tree."

Yet another restorative spell....

Many months later, the party is plane-trekking across the cosmology looking for a backdoor portal into Baator. After surviving the Astral and Ethereal planes, fighting ghosts and nosy wizards, living through the plane of Air and gigantic half-air-elemntal-half-polar-worms, and diplomacizing past an agressive race of blue revolutionaries, we wind up in the civilized and almost entirely harmless plane of Mechanus. Really, how could anyone possibly die here?

Well, apparently every time we travel between cogs, we have to make reflex saves to avoid falling. Whenever we reach a juncture of two cogs, we can either make two reflex saves of DC 17, or make one reflex save of DC 25, at our discretion. My rogue has a base reflex save of +25 without even rolling, so naturally I take the latter option every time this happens. The fourth time that we have to do this, however, the inevitable happens and I roll a natural 1.

The DM, strangely, thinks that because the higher reflex save DC attempt is more difficult, it should also do double damage if you fail. My character takes 40d6 points of damage (we stopped rolling around 35d6 when the damage passed 130) as he is crushed and pulped by the giant cogs. My corpse then has to make saving throws for all of my items.

Sigh...

Eventually this character wound up getting into so much trouble that he got utterly destroyed beyond hope of resurrection....but that's another story. -- Marauder Arafain Entreri, 65 Deceiver
-- Arafein Soulstriker, 54 Champion Relic
-- Arafax Kokorozan, 20 Monk Giantfriend
-- Formerly of Requiem of Souls, now of Crusaders of Plilo
-- Formerly of The Rathe Server, now of Zebuxoruk
-- Arafain was injured by falling.
"Once, in the old west, a gentleman shot a professional gunfighter in the back. When asked why he didn't give the other chap a chance to draw, he replied, 'Well, he's dead and I'm alive and that's how I wanted it to be." -- from Red Planet, Robert A. Heinlein

Edited by: Arafain at: 3/24/03 8:01:07 pm

[EZ_Tynaerial]

Playing shadowrun and with my mage I cast wrecker on a helicopter...that was directly over head. I was fine, at least 3 others in the group were in the hospital for a week or so =x
whoops

[EZ_Twyll]

I'm the DM for a 3e d&amp;d group and a very new rogue was walking throught the ghetto of a busy merchant town. He decided to bad-mouth a large peasant who, of course, took out a sap and knocked him unconscious. He lay in the ghetto streets for a short time before the corpse collector took him for dead and threw him in a community grave. He woke up and found himself amongst dead, decaying bodies in a deep pit. The stench choked him and he was helpless. Rats and bugs ate him alive, slowly, from the inside out... .............................
......................./´¯/)
....................,/¯.././
.................../...././
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........'\'...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\
Marauder Twyll Sereg`wethrin
The Grandmaster Assassin (retired)

[EZ_Arafain]

Bringin' it back black mage style! Let's see what's happened since this thread died. Any new additions?

[TeanninBramblefeet]

Spinectomies eh Ara?

Wish I had a group from which to bring tales of death and destruction, but sadly, it would appear that "D&amp;D is teh devil" where I've moved to, so I dun' think that'll be happenin' any time soon.

On the other hand ::Kicks back and prepares to hear some fun shtuff::

[EZ_Arafain]

where'd you move to? =p

[TeanninBramblefeet]

Indiana, Fort Wayne ish area... all I've seen around here are uber-religious people and who I can only assume are they're children/grandchildren who are "rebelling against society man" complete in punk and/or goth attire their parents probably bought for them at Hot Topic *cough*

That, and the three people who I've met who play any form of roleplaying game a) are massive-huge with a nasty scraggly beard from which twinkies are likely harvested on a daily basis. b) lack front teeth (And I believe a frontal lobe as well) and was in the store I was at to "look at the purdy d100s." And c) was around 60 years old...

Needless to say, I'm not hanging out with any of them

[EZ_Hindraak]

Post a group request at wizards.com, and filter from there.

[EZ_Arafain]

shame. I moved out to Virginia and am not having much luck with a gaming group here, either.

[EZ_Silvorn]

I was playing a halfling rogue. I think I had gotten up to level 3. We are in a dungeon and it's a rogue playground. Traps galore.

I detect a trap! A pit with spikes in it. So I trip it and it opens. I climb down into the pit and walk to the other end.

There's a door to a room we figure is the main stash for the place at the end of said pit.

The human warrior type boosts me up so I can check the door. Wow another trap! This place must have some serious goodies in it! Disarm the trap and unlock the door, open the door.

The big burly fighter type sort of tosses/boosts me up and I land just inside the door on my feet.

Now the problems commence.

GM "Make a reflex saving throw."

Die rolls "1" uh oh...

GM "As you land you hear a click. And you see a spear headed towards you at about neck level but you are to slow to dodge it."

He rolls and the spear not only hits me but does a critical. The impact blows me backwards over the edge of the pit and I fall imapling myself on 3 spikes. (d4 dam each).

End result one VERY dead halfling.

[DarthEnder]

I run my D&amp;D campaign at the steam/gunpowder tech level.

The halfing ranger was sneaking around a goblin warehouse and heard someone coming and climbed inside a metal grate on the side of some large metal drum.

Turned out to be the steam boiler for the "goblin shredder(ala Warcraft3)" and the goblins were on their way out and fired it up.

[EZ_Thalish Bladespinner]

Pasting in the Head of Vecna since that link isn't working...

From Steve Jackson Games website....

Many years ago (back when we all were still playing D &amp; D), I ran a game where I pitted two groups against each other.

Several members of Group One came up with the idea of luring Group Two into a trap. You remember the Hand of Vecna and the Eye of Vecna that were artifacts in the old D&amp;D world where if you cut off your hand (or your eye) and replaced it with the Hand of Vecna (or the Eye) you'd get new awesome powers? Well, Group One thought up The Head of Vecna.

Group One spread rumors all over the countryside (even paying Bards to spread the word about this artifact rumored to exist nearby). They even went so far as to get a real head and place it under some weak traps to help with the illusion. Unfortunately, they forgot to let ALL the members of their group in on the secret plan (I suspect it was because they didn't want the Druid to get caught and tell the enemy about this trap of theirs, or maybe because they didn't want him messing with things).

The Druid in group One heard about this new artifact and went off in search of it himself (I believe to help prove himself to the party members...) Well, after much trial and tribulation, he found it; deactivated (or set off) all the traps; and took his "prize" off into the woods for examination. He discovered that it did not radiate magic (a well known trait of artifacts) and smiled gleefully.

I wasn't really worried since he was alone and I knew that there was no way he could CUT HIS OWN HEAD OFF. Alas I was mistaken as the Druid promptly summoned some carnivorous apes and instructed them to use his own scimitar and cut his head off (and of course quickly replacing it with the Head of Vecna...)

Some time later, Group one decided to find the Druid and to check on the trap. They found the headless body (and the two heads) and realized that they had erred in their plan (besides laughing at the character who had played the Druid)...The Head of Vecna still had BOTH eyes! They corrected this mistake and reset their traps and the Head for it's real intended victims...

Group Two, by this time, had heard of the powerful artifact and decided that it bore investigating since, if true, they could use it to destroy Group One. After much trial and tribulation, they found the resting place of The Head of Vecna! The were particularly impressed with the cunning traps surrounding the site (one almost missed his save against the weakest poison known to man). They recovered the Head and made off to a safe area.

Group Two actually CAME TO BLOWS (several rounds of fighting) against each other argueing over WHO WOULD GET THEIR HEAD CUT OFF! Several greedy players had to be hurt and restrained before it was decided who would be the recipient of the great powers bestowed by the Head... The magician was selected and one of them promptly cut his head off. As the player was lifting The Head of Vecna to emplace it on it's new body, another argument broke out and they spent several minutes shouting and yelling. Then, finally, they put the Head onto the character.

Well, of course, the Head simply fell off the lifeless body. All members of Group Two began yelling and screaming at each other (and at me) and then, on their own, decided that they had let too much time pass between cutting off the head of a hopeful recipient and put the Head of Vecna onto the body.

SO THEY DID IT AGAIN!... [killing another PC]

In closing, it should be said that I never even cracked a smile as all this was going on. After the second PC was slaughtered, I had to give in (my side was hurting)...

And Group Two blamed ME for all of that...

[EZ_Thalish Bladespinner]

Running a game once upon a time...

The group was traveling through some mountains and, while on a narrow path skirting a very steep incline/cliff, encountered a pack of perytons, sort of a griffon but with a deer's head/antlers. Chaotic evil Bambi's dad with wings and taloned claws.

One swoops down, grasps the wizard and flies up into the air, out over the immense drop. The wizard, being an artillery type, goes for big flashy damage immediately, &lt;FIREBALL!>

Me: You want to fireball him? You'll get caught in it, he's holding you.
Wiz: Yeah - I'm gonna have it go off centered on his head.
Me: Your intelligence suggests your character would take into account the fact you're several thousand feet above the valley floor below.
Wiz: Oh I'm not worried, its just a fireball - I'll resist it.
Me: Roll spellcraft at -8 to cast; you are impaled by giant claws and suspended and flying rather awkwardly.
Wiz: Success! This guy is SO going down!
Me: Roll your damage and then your saving throw..
Wiz: WOOHOO look at all those 6's! AND I made my save!
Me to the rest of the party: In the years to come, the story of the flying flaming peryton and the falling foolish mage entertain your children and children's children.

[EZ_Kadah]

When my sorcerer was young and foolish, He would often read the mail (or scrolls sent to him via message boys).

Well, upon taking notice to travel agaisnt a vile trickster and meeting up with several friends, They recieved a a telegram that they took to be the message upon where to meet the person that would hire them.

My sorcerer being the face of the group, A wanderful drunkard that he is, Opened the telegram and begain to read aloud what was inside it.

"So this is what it feels like to read explosive ru..oh @#%$!"
Kaboom! The intial damage was enough to take me to 1 hp, But no, the true joy of it, was the acholic beverage I had spilled and caught fire, burning for 2 rounds before my party could douse it.

The bastard of a GM rolled a 11.

Moral of the story.
Always pay the messanger to read anything he brings.

[EZ_Vagabond]

But then you have to kill him, since it was a secret, for your eyes only document.... Ninen of Saryrn
The War Council

100: Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
101: I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
These Handy tips brought to you by The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

[EZ_Mayli Fatedefy]

Dunno if this counts as being the BEST death, but it was a character I quite liked and the events surrounding her death were unusual to say the least...

We were in a...slightly powerful party...myself a lvl 7 half drow cleric..(I tinked with this a bit, she was a worshipper of Eilistraee), a lvl 7 human warrior, lvl 7 elven sorceress, lvl 4/lvl 3 cleric, lvl 7 minotaur, lvl 7 paladin and a lvl 7 half celestial. It was a big party with a pretty good source of fire power...

The situation had us at this...

The storyline read that a necromancer had been searching the lands questing for 7 pieces of a staff. The staff had been dismantled some time ago and strewn about the lands, each piece guarded and well hidden so that no one who desired the evil powers would get it. The necromancer had at this point gotten two pieces, and my group, members of an elite academy, were drawn into the fold.

After a few escapades, clearing of undead, demons etc...we eventually are told to find the peices and immediately destroy them, instead of trying to capture them and bring them home. (Many ill fated things had happened before so we had to change slightly.) Whether it was because the GM had thought thru it badly, (Our main adversaries were a lvl 15 !!!!!!!!! Halfling rogue with insane abilities and items....nearly killed us many times...I won't go into the stats on the necro...) but whatever the reason, we had been having some trouble with it so the idea was changed.

Anyways we get to an island ruled by the Minotaur. It seems that the Minotaurs have basically instilled a faith, following this piece of staff almost as a religion. It is a tradition, nay, a following that they have to guard this staff and spend their lives preparing for the day when they will put their lives on the line for it. We enter an arena, and after a bit emerge the victors against the Minotaurs, taking with us the staff piece.

We rush to the boat and set sail and on the way come across an island that appears to have bits of a shipwreck lodged on shore.

We investigate, and find that a group of hideous monsters have taken the crew and eaten most of them, except for one man, and apparently his daughter.

We find the man in a cage after disposing of the beasts, and he begs us to save his daughter, who he heard had been carried away by foul creatures.

The party was roughly Chaotic Good to Neutral Good. Yet out of allllll of us, myself and the lvl 4 warrior/lvl 3 cleric were the only ones who was willing to save the little girl. (She was age 3 at the time.) After some convincing, the paladin and half celestial decided to join us.

We find a cave with what appears to be drag marks leading into it. Entering the cave we are attacked by some silly little spiders that splatter into itsy bits when we hit them. Perhaps this should have been our first clue...BUT...

The half celestial and paladin decide that the two clerics should lead the way...myself with a drow's eyesight, looks into the cavern but is told that I see...nothing.

Out of nowhere, we hear FWIP...and an arrow goes sailing past us into the warrior/cleric. The man falls down dead...

(It was an arrow of human slaying and he failed his fortitude save...)

A few seconds later, I was told to make a will save...I fail, but due to the fact I had an item that granted a second chance at a reroll, I rerolled. I passed this time, and was told that I had momentarily thought I should enter a door at the back of the cavern, but the thought vanished as soon as it entered.

Now, the creature at the back of the cave enters what little light there was. It was a drider and was coming towards me, a drow.

It was wearing a funny looking mask...which flew off of it's head...at me.

Mask of the Skulls, once per day will fly from the face of the wearer and strike a target, the target must make a fortitude save or be instantly slain.

I failed my fortitude save this time, and down I went. The paladin and half celestial took off like bats out of hell at that point.

Needless the say, I thought the GM should have worked thru it a bit more...a drider on a deserted ISLAND, with a Mask of the Skulls and an arrow of human slaying...did I mention my party inspected the room at the back of the cave to find a red dragon hatchling? Yea...

Hehe still makes me chuckle to think of it...my poor drow..

Mayli Fatedefy
Assassin of Tunare
"My world is shadows, my work is unseen, my name unknown...that is what it is to be a rogue, and you shall never see me coming, until it is too late."

[Dragynphyre]

Actually, there could have been an Underdark tunnel that came up out of there, hence the presence of a drider.

[EZ_Sillis Spineslicer]

Quote:After some convincing, the paladin and half celestial decided to join us.

Neither one of those two should ever be allowed to play that type of character again, mainly the Paladin though.

Having to convince a Paladin to save a 3 year old child in distress?

Instant loss of abilities. Jeez, that is the type of thing for which Paladins are made.

[DarthEnder]

Sorry May, but those encounters sound perfectly balanced when taking your party into consideration.

Especially when you consider that the Minotaur is the equivalent of like a 15th level character and the Half Celestial is like 10th.

And yeah, that Paladin should have his abilities stripped for simply being a complete coward.

The Half-Celestial is fine though, nothing says Half-celestials have to act like paladins.

[EZ_Vanthe]

-NOTE-
This isn't my story, just something a gamer buddy emailed out to a few people from out gaming group. Names have bveen changed to protect the innoce..er...relatively innocent.

-------------------------------
The Betrayal
-------------------------------

I would like to share with you a gaming story. If you hate listening to/reading such stories, you may as well quit now. I beleive that you are all at least somewhat familiar with gaming.

This particular game was a combination of Mage: The Ascension and Vampire: The Masquerade using the White Wolf system. The setting was modern day New Orleans. The GM was a gentleman by the name of Jon. The players were myself, Ben (aka the single most stupid person I have ever met), Shawn White, and Sam.

Vampires in the White Wolf system have a variety of fascinating supernatural powers that they can choose from. Ben, White, and Sam were playing vampires. They all choose supernatural speed, strength, and toughness; which should tell you quite a lot about the group in question. Their characters were all wearing black trenchcoats. I don't remember the names of their characters except for Jack Thunder, who belonged to White. I remember that character because White created him for the sole purpose of killing whatever character Wally would create the next time Wally played with us. I think Wally was out with one of the squadrons when this game occured.

I was playing a Mage. The easiest way to understand White Wolf Mages is to watch The Matrix. Mages have the ability to alter reality in their vicinity. I decided to play a character based on Vash the Stampede (Trigun). Think wild west gunfighter with bright red trenchcoat and spikey blond hair. My specialties were Forces and Time. Forces allowed me to play with energy. I could move it around and convert it from one form to another. Time allowed me to speed up time, slow it down, and gaze into the future or past. By speeding time up in my immediate vicinity aloowed my to move really, really fast compared to everyone else. The most important thing about my character was that he refused to kill and did his best to stop others from killing.

The plot of the campaign involved our group of characters trying to form an alliance between the Vampires and Mages in new Orleans so they could stand together against the Technocracy. The Technocracy is a high-tech secret organization that destroys everything that doesn't fit in with their view of how the world should be. They don't like anything supernatural, and were thus trying to kill the vampires and mages.

There was also a random group of vampire hunters in the city. They were not exactly what I would call effective. The only time they came at us in large numbers I managed to attract all of their attention while the vampires ran like hell. I was captured by them. When I refused to help them track down the vampires they decided to drive me back to their hideout to torture information out of me. They told me this while we were in their car on route to said hideout. They neglected to search me or confiscate my guns. They hadn't even tied me up. I just open the car door and dived out. We were doing about 70 mph at the time, but I used my forces ability to convert (almost) all of my kinetic energy into sound. I hit the pavement with a sound like a jet crashing into the side of a mountain, but I walked away without a scratch. My character being a dexterity monkey I managed to get off the freeway without getting ran down.

The story developed fairly well and we got the mages and vampires together, and there was only one problem: my fellow players were psychotic. They ended up killing half the people that we met. I pleaded with them. I threatened them. I eventually gave up and had a little talk with the GM.

Me: "This isn't working. My character can't stay with these guys. They're all nucking futs!"

Jon: "You want to create a new character?"

Me: "No. I want to decide that vampires don't count as alive and are therefore not protected by my moral code. I have to kill them all."

Jon: "Uh.. okay. But they all created combat monsters, and vampires are really hard to kill. Your character doesn't even know their weaknesses. How are you going to kill them?"

Me: "I have a cunning plan..."

-----

I waited. I saw my chance when one of them (Sam's character) was savaged by a HITMARK. (Think: Terminater) He wasn't dead, just somewhat perforated my machine gun fire. The other vampires said he would be alright and just needed a few days to recover. I volunteered to keep him in my apartment until he woke up. I had my guinea pig! Experimentation followed.

The GM decided that I now knew enough about vampires to create anti-vampire bullets. The other players overheard this and reached new levels of cluelessness.

Ben's character: "What are you doing in your workshop?"

Me: "I'm making bullets that can kill vampires."

Ben's character: "Oh. Okay."

The story's climactic battle took place after my character claimed to have hacked into the Technocracies database and found out where their local headquarters was located. All of the vampires in the city were gathered up for the assault. It was, of course, a trap. I arranged with the GM that my character had been retroactivly working for the technocracy the entire time. The main assault force, including all of the players, ran into a large room with no cover and a row of HITMARKs on the far side with big guns.

Sam, whose character was in my character's freezer, was allowed to play the head HITMARK. Right before the battle started he was passed a note by the GM.

GM: "These are your unit's final orders."

Sam: (reads the note and looks up at me.) "My character's dead, isn't he?"

Me: (Shrug)

The HITMARKs commenced firing, causing everyone except myself to make numerous dodge rolls. All of the NPC vampires were dropped and Ben's guy was badly wounded. Jack Thunder actually managed to make all of his dodge rolls. The GM announced that it was my turn to act because the others had used all of their actions to dodge.
White: "Wait a minute, why didn't he have to dodge."

Me: (Miming pistols being drawn) "They're not aiming at me."

It actually took my character three shots to kill Jack Thunder. White just sat there with a look of horrified shock on his face. Ben shrugged and started creating his next character. Sam passed me the note he had been given by the GM:
Don't the guy in red. He works for us and is helping to wipe out the vampires.

It was about an hour before White said anything. I don't think he ever forgave me for killing his anti-Wally character. Many bad words were said after that game.

Question: Was it wrong of my character to brutally murder his companions? Was it wrong for me as a player to betray the other players? Let me know what you think.

Edited by: Vanthe at: 4/9/04 6:53 am

[EZ_Urusai]

Quote:Question: Was it wrong of my character to brutally murder his companions? Was it wrong for me as a player to betray the other players? Let me know what you think.

Nothing is wrong when your playing Vampire.
Betrayal is part of what makes gaming intresting.

[Dragynphyre]

Ooh, I like it - you roleplayed your character VERY well.

[Arafain]

Thread resurrection #2 - tell us what gruesomeness has transpired to your characters recently!

[Tribalgeek]

First. This is a 3rd ed story.

To give a little back story I was playing an assasin we had a ninja a wizard and a cleric and ranger played by the same guy. This guy was on like his third or forth game but he was okay with the ranger just shity with the cleric. My assasin didn't like a paladin killed him in one hit. We moved to the nexct room while the cleric raised him turning the guy into a completly evil creature that wanted us all dead. The cleric then casted hallow. The shock wave caused me to make saving rolls for all my magic stuff. Which was everything on me including two extras. Needles to say one failed roll and everything went up. I ended up dead. Did get to come back after making a deal with death.

Second.
Combo game of mage, vampire and werewolf. All white wolf games. My first time. Ended up saying I would train under a ronin. Stepped into the umbra with him and had my throat slashed. Just started writeing the next one up.

[The Crimson Asp]

I was a player in an event at a roleplaying convention. This module, made by the gms running it, had a predefined ending. They handed the character's out and I guess I was the lucky one, because the whole idea was that every character except for one would die by the end of the adventure. When it came down to me and one other player, we had to roll percentile dice to see who would survive the final trap. The GM's said to me, " hold on a minute use this dice", and proceeded to give me a loaded 100 sided d 100. I was supposed to roll high but somehow the loaded dice didnt do its job and I rolled lower than the other player ( who was a good friend of mine).
It was kind of odd that the gm's wanted me to use a differant dice after I had been using my own all night, but it was even gimpier that they made us reroll so that the ending came out the way it was supposed to. That was the lousiest way to win I think, and the lousiest way to die for everyone else.

Similar event happened playing Elfquest. My elf who rode a big brown bear defeated one of the main characters in the game by the chance of the dice, but the gm wouldn't let it ride.

Whats the moral of the story? GM's do not rely on dice rolls if something is supposed to turn out a certain way. Personally i think these defining moments are really the only time that game mechanics are really important.