View Full Version : I think I've fallen in love with my best friend's G/F
07-17-03, 06:06 PM
Run away (without the chick.) Trust a wise old man. Don't ask why. Just trust.
07-17-03, 06:08 PM
One of the only times a one word rant says it all.
Ugh. I feel for you man, good luck. That sucks. But remember the age old rule of bros before hoes.
07-17-03, 06:14 PM
Just think about how Rick Okasic felt when he sang about his best friend's girlfriend, and how she used to be his.
Of course, he ended up with Paulina, so maybe that's not the best example.
07-17-03, 06:44 PM
I give this rant a 10.
07-17-03, 06:48 PM
Bring it up at some point, just don't make it obvious. Be like yo dude would you care if I went out with your ex girl? If you can tell he really don't give a @#%$ then go for it. Me and my friends pass the same girls around all the time.
07-17-03, 06:50 PM
I guess I'll add a little something more. I once had my girlfriend stolen from me by my best friend (I had been going out with her for a month, and then she broke up with me and started going out with him a week later and they are still together, that was a year ago). Needless to say he isn't my best friend anymore, I think I've found a real friend now. So I can't see myself ever doing something like that to him. Albeit being very painful, I guess the only thing I can do is wait, and see what happens. Of course, if they were to break up, I might become the big teddy bear, because I've become very good friends with her of late, and that would shoot down any chances of a relationship for a while. Blah.
07-17-03, 06:53 PM
Quote:Of course, if they were to break up, I might become the big teddy bear, because I've become very good friends with her of late, and that would shoot down any chances of a relationship for a while. Blah.
I doubt I need to say it, but I would suggest driving a fork through your heart before entering Best-Guy-Friend territory.
07-17-03, 06:53 PM
Rant downgraded to a 2.
07-17-03, 07:01 PM
Unfortunately it may be too late Sneaks. My urge to get closer to her overpowers my ability to reason and keep my distance.
07-17-03, 07:12 PM
07-17-03, 09:04 PM
Important question is your bestfriend a good friend or someone who has simply earned the title for being around real long? Still my sympathies tough situation I say get some distance from it.
07-17-03, 09:49 PM
keep your penis in your pants and don't be the ass holio that breaks everything apart, just like has happened to you.
Go meet other people. Are you desperate for sex? If thats it, go consult a proffesional... Brelkor the Blackhammer, The Masta Back Stabba, retired rogue
"Wake up on fire every day
And I never say goodbye
I've never been afraid to die"[i]
07-17-03, 10:44 PM
Friends come and go, but sex is forever. Go for the girl!
07-17-03, 11:50 PM
Dude, don't worry, I totally saw this on Passions the other day.
What you do is, you're gonna need to convince the two of them to move out to LA, then all three of you fly out there on your private jet, serve some wine, then get the chump out of the room when the girl goes to sleep, so when she has a nightmare about her sister calling her a #$%^, you'll totally be there and the chump will be on the #$%^per or something. It's fool proof, I think... "Age and wisdom don't always go together, I've found. ... Some people just become stupid with more authority." -- Terry Pratchett
07-18-03, 02:04 AM
Threesome! You can be the bitch in the middle! Halen : 57 blackguard : Tholuxe Paells.
07-18-03, 03:12 AM
Damn you Halen, customers looking at me all funny.
Zulian, I heart Passions. In a heartpunch kind of way. That show is so terribly bad it is actually quite amusing when you dont want to use your brain.
07-18-03, 05:43 AM
I like how people respond with "@#%$ her!/Don't @#%$ her!"
He said he was falling in love with her. It wouldn't be a problem if he just wanted to @#%$ her. Sensei Pren,
but.. but.. but.. Prenn....
I thought shagging = love???
/sarcasm (for the sarcasm impaired)
07-18-03, 12:01 PM
At least he's not your roommate.
07-18-03, 12:49 PM
1. Move to Alaska.
2. Buy a fishing boat.
3. Watch the $$$ roll in.
07-18-03, 01:29 PM
Alaskan crab fisherman is the most dangerous ocupation in the world. All the cash you will be earning will be paying for your burial.
07-18-03, 02:04 PM
07-18-03, 02:39 PM
Exactly Elerion. It''s like, the writing is just so bad it's funny. The thing that bugs me is they haven't had Precious on in ages
(Precious is the trained nurse who takes care of the old lady, did I mention Precious is a monkey? She makes a great cup of tea, though) "Age and wisdom don't always go together, I've found. ... Some people just become stupid with more authority." -- Terry Pratchett
07-19-03, 03:52 AM
Old lady? Which old lady? The witch?
The show here is probably lagging a good way behind the US showing, so she might not even have been introduced yet. Or, she could have for all I know, as I watch like 1 episode a month It sounds Precious though (ow)
The most amusing part I've caught yet was the series of episodes where Charity was being pulled down into Hell. Hot damn that was so bad I just couldn't resist watching.
Sadly, it falls into the same pitfall (for non-soap-addicts like me) as Sunset Beach and numerous other 90's US soaps: Everything takes too long to happen. If I sit down to watch Passions one day, the cliffhanger that the last episode ended with might not even be resolved during the next two consecutive episodes. It's about as fun as watching paint dry.
07-19-03, 11:13 AM
Hahah, seriously. And the old lady is Beth's mother, not sure if she's over there yet.
It doesn't matter how long things take though, when the monkey has it's fantasies about Luis all is right with the world. "Age and wisdom don't always go together, I've found. ... Some people just become stupid with more authority." -- Terry Pratchett
*blink* Who's to say she can't date you both, with you two remaining friends?
I admit, the little world inside my head doesn't work the same way as the great big world outside of it, but...talk about it. Amadan :: Child of the Phoenix ::
"You're nothing but barbarians, scoundrels, and assassins!"
"And fools. Don't leave out fools."
07-19-03, 05:31 PM
What is this, a Coors commercial? (or maybe it was Budweiser...)
07-19-03, 08:40 PM
How did you feel when your friend stole your girlfriend.
Now, would you wish that kind of pain on your friend?
07-20-03, 02:01 AM
I really can't imagine having a friend who would either blame me for something like that or go out with a girl who could be seduced that easily. If she's someone he respects, and he's not her choice.. I dunno, I think ultimately it only prevents wasted love and time or something.
I may feel bad if my girlfriend runs off with a friend, but I won't call it anyone's "fault" but my own.
07-20-03, 07:47 PM
what kind of professional brelk? the NYC street corner kind or a shrink.......
07-20-03, 08:37 PM
07-21-03, 08:05 AM
it's lust not love. tool, the emotional hangover you'll get from trying to do something with the girl and screwing over your best friend is far worse than being horny for some looker.
07-21-03, 09:32 AM
Ok first, I have absolutely no plans to try and break them up, or steal her from him, or anything like that. I (currently) value my friendship with him more than what remote possibility there might be for a relationship with her.
Second, I don't think its lust, but what do I know. It's not that I just want to get in her pants or anything like that. In fact that thought simply hasn't crossed my mind. I simply enjoy her company, I think she's an awesome person. When I'm not with her I want to be, even though it's just as friends and he will always be around when I'm with her.
Last night things got a little...interesting. We were planning on doing something after we all got off work. But when we finally met up it was about 10PM and we couldn't get anyone else to come out with us, so we decided we were just going to go watch Office Space at my friend's house. She didn't really want to go because she had to get up early the next morning to go work for her uncle. So my friend was saying his goodbyes for the night (I assumed) when she speeds off. My friend says everything is fine, he's gonna go get gas and then meet me at Blockbuster to get Office Space. I say OK, even though I know something is up. I figured I had a few minutes to waste since he was getting gas, so I go to check my work schedule (I work at the theatre, which is the parking lot we were in). It's almost 11 so the place is getting pretty empty. I drive over to the back door and noticed on the other side of the parking lot, her car is sitting there on and I can't see anyone in it. So I drive over to it, and she's got the seat back (layed down) with the car just idling. I hop into the passenger seat and just asked "Is something wrong?" When she looked at me and started to talk I could tell she had been crying. Which is the whole point of this story, it made me physically sick to see her in pain. We talked for a good 45 minutes (well she talked, I just kind of listened, I didn't want to say the wrong thing). The main gist of the conversation was that she makes all the effort in the relationship, and he doesn't. But anyway, I told her to come with me to Blockbuster and we'd figure things out. I offered to drive her home either later/early morning if she was too tired. So we go to Blockbuster, and it's closed, and he isn't there. We wait for about 15 minutes and he calls her cell phone from his house. He was really worried, he had thought I got into an accident or was pulled over or something. We both apologized and I told him that I had thought something was up so I went and talked to her. He didn't seem upset or anything. Almost like he had expected me to do it. Well, maybe not. It didn't seem to have any effect on him. Like if I had told him I stopped at my grandmother's or something instead I would have gotten the same reaction. He said I could still come over if I wanted but he was going to go to bed soon. So we all decided we'd do it again tonight, starting at a decent hour. She said she was going to go over to his house anyway, which I said I understood. Then she asked me to call her cell phone when I got home so "she could make sure I made it home OK". She's never done that before.
Oye, such confusion.
I'm not sure I like the way this is going. Some things might be good but that doesn't make it right. I don't know, I'm sure I'll have more after tonight to think about.
07-21-03, 10:44 AM
Go Jerk Off. If you don't want her for a while after that then it's just lust.
Level 65 Deciever of Bristlebane
Leader of The Immortalis Extrahi
07-22-03, 11:46 PM
Done. Don't think it's lust.
07-23-03, 04:28 AM
And now you won't get cancer either - well done!
08-01-03, 09:47 AM
Ok, the Alice in Wonderland thing today gets my vote for best dream/halucination sequence ever.
08-01-03, 11:38 AM
Quote:the emotional hangover
Now that's a good term!
Bad part is when it's emotional hangover + real hangover and you can't EXACTLY remember what you did, but you know that you regret it, and you are dizzy and have to go throw up.
08-02-03, 07:42 AM
Quote:even though it's just as friends and he will always be around when I'm with her.
Maybe its just me, but that sounds a bit like he's being possessive of her. If you really are good friends with her, and you can keep it in your pants if you were alone with her, then why not try to spend time with just her? Surely she and your friend aren't joined at the hip or anything.
And if your friend has a problem with that, then maybe he's not such a great friend after all.
Then again, what do I know? nothing
Friends can smell when friends are sweet on their significant other. In most cases, I'd say yeah, he's a schloob if he has a problem with you two hanging out alone together, but given your attitude in this thread about the girl, I think your friend would be justified in benig nervious. Friends get to know each other pretty well, and those changes in tone and attitude will give you away.
As a good friend of mine said on this subject 'If he ain't your homeboy, @#%$ 'em. If he is your homeboy......'.
08-02-03, 05:57 PM
Quote:Go Jerk Off. If you don't want her for a while after that then it's just lust.
Wow, thats the best tip even given on these boards, maybe the whole freakin' internet! Bring out the Gimp!
08-02-03, 06:18 PM
The problem when I fantasize about girls that I really care about is that it takes too damn long, there should be no fantasy-foreplay damnit!
08-03-03, 02:14 PM
I don't think he suspects I have a thing for her. Just the other day I had a bunch of people over, and they were the last 2 to leave, and we ended up playing a board game and making him late for work, so he asked if I could take her home (they drove in the same car over to my house) so he could jet over to work. She ended up staying for another hour or so just talking, then I took her home (and she lives 30 minutes from my house so its a long drive). She's in Texas right now, on a road trip with her best friend.
I was gonna say something else but now I can't remember because the smoke detector went off because I burnt my damn pizza I had in the oven. @#%$ A!
12-28-03, 11:44 PM
Wow. Been a while since I wrote this, but the saga continues.
So I wrote that back in August. Since then we all went to different colleges (mine is 30 minutes from his, she is about 3 hours from either of us). They have stayed together throughout it all, obviously having their rocky points being in a long distance relationship.
He still remains my best friend.
The feelings still remain for her.
He spent the weekend seeing his dad about 2 hours away (his parents are separated, his dad works out of California and comes home to see him a few times a year). She is in Texas spending Chistmas with her family.
So I'm hanging out with a couple friends, when one of my closer friends brings up an interesting subject:
Friend: "So there is a lot of 'fire under the kettle' after what happened today, eh?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Friend: "You haven't talked to soandso?"
Me: "No, what's up?"
Friend: "He broke up with girl today, from what I hear"
(he is with one of her good friends, so that's how he would know)
No sooner than an hour later, I got a call from him on my cell. I was in the middle of a movie with all my friends, but I excused myself anyway to see what was up. He said he didn't want to intrude on what I was already doing, even though I said I would rather talk to him. He said he just needed to "talk" to me, and wanted me to call him afterward. So after we were finished (Nearly 11pm) I got home and called his cell...no answer. Left a message, now I'm sitting here contemplating this crazy turn of events.
12-29-03, 12:08 AM
You better get in there.
It's the best way to assure that you lose a friend and fail to win a girl
12-29-03, 07:02 AM
There was a Dear Abby column on this subject last week, except this woman was in love with her fiancee's brother. Abby said to wait six months, then start going out.
12-29-03, 12:25 PM
Man, I feel for you.
If I was you I'd keep my eyes open, there's other girls out there, you know?
12-29-03, 01:16 PM
DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!11!!
You will be a brief interlude for her. It will end anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks after your first make out session with her crying to you about how confused she is and how she really hates herslef, but she just has to go back to your friend and she really hopes she hasn't ruined your friendship which is very important to her and and and ...
You will tell her its ok its ok and then come and tell us about how it felt like your heart was being torn to shreds etc while you were saying that but you just didn't know what else to say and now you wish you had said something else and what to do what to do?
FIND ANOTHER WOMAN!
Good luck, whatever you do.
12-29-03, 04:11 PM
Ah, I was wondering why there wasn't 10 "Do her in the..." replies to this thread. I thought everyone got over using it but no, the thread was just made before it DHITP became a cliche.
12-29-03, 04:50 PM
Got a problem.
I'm a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner.
It's important that my family eat meat at least three times a week.
But we just can't afford to with the prices the way they are.
So I bring home some choice cuts from my autopsy subjects.
Just mix in the Tuna Helper... and ta - da!
The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious.
They ask me what's my secret.
Abby, I think they're getting suspicious.
My smart - ass 8 - year - old keeps asking, "Where's all the meat?
The red dye N2 kind that's kept in the fridge. "
If they find out the truth I don't think they'll understand.
Abby, what do I tell my family?
DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM:
Consult your clergyman.
Make sure the body's blessed and everything should be just fine.
Sorry, whenever someone mentions Dear Abby.. all I can think about is this song. The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. ~Albert Einstein
12-29-03, 05:55 PM
if you Really like her avoid her. (for a while)
if you just want to get in her pants then this is your prime opportunity.
Either way figure out what the hell you want and go for it, don't be wishy washy, or the perpetual nice guy, or the guy who sits on the internet asking advice.
Do what will make you feel like you are living your life.
65 Kat Rogue
"Expansions are not about class balance." --AbsorEQ
"Classes are not that out of balance ----AbsorEQ"
12-29-03, 06:39 PM
Quote:Do what will make you feel like you are living your life.
Good call Vyxn.
If you have gone an entire semester separated from her, and she was still on your mind throughout all that (and your not an antisocial monkey, and went out at least now and then in college, and from what you've said that doesn't seem to be the case), then she definitely means something to you. Your best bet is to definitely "watch and wait", try not to take sides in things, but be there for both of them. In a couple weeks when it is clear he is not on her mind anymore, start inviting her out, without him. If he's truly your best friend you guys will survive. Life's a crazy ride, good luck
12-29-03, 09:26 PM
Well said Vyxn I'll only add try not to trample over everyone else while living your life.
12-30-03, 06:21 AM
Quote:Go Jerk Off. If you don't want her for a while after that then it's just lust.
Wow, thats the best tip even given on these boards, maybe the whole freakin' internet!
I have a gift :>
Shanar's Fantastical Gear!
12-31-03, 05:38 AM
Go after the girl. Damn everything else to hell.
I've used this quote before, but...
"The biggest regrets we have are the chances we do not take."
If you're that worried about your friend and she shoots you down...then tell him afterwards that she was coming on to you and that you shot her down and now she's talking @#%$ because she hates that you rejected her. Nothing could go wrong that a well placed lie won't fix.
01-03-04, 05:35 AM
Forget the girl, forget your friend, put your nose to the grindstone to get your @#%$ together.
01-03-04, 10:03 AM
Did she dump him? If so, stay away, or I as your best friend would have beat the @#%$ crap out of you.
Did he dump her? Do the wait&bait thing.
01-03-04, 10:10 AM
Do the wait&bait thing.
Ahh, but the servent waits, while the master baits...
01-03-04, 11:52 AM
Quote:It's not that I just want to get in her pants or anything like that.
Ok, I call @#%$!
There is an old Italian toast that says something like:
"Better to regret the things you've done in life, then to regret the things you haven't."
By the way, The Safehouse has the best rants ever! You guys make me laugh out loud all the time.
01-03-04, 03:54 PM
So.... does she like it in the pooper? ______________________
Never Fear Sly is he.....LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
01-03-04, 08:32 PM
This thread is so old. You dug it up just to say do her in the pooper!
01-04-04, 02:56 PM
Never dip your stir stick in another mans kool aid my friend.
01-06-04, 12:56 PM
I would wait till they break up, then if that happens talk with your friend first before you do anything with her!
01-06-04, 03:47 PM
Well they did break up, if you had read my last post.
Now they're back together, pretty much thanks to me willingly playing middleman on New Year's Eve. Now they are both back in town but there is still tension, they keep getting in arguments, and the stupidest things will tick the other off, but then they'll start making out and they'll be fine. Methinks all that is left is the physical thing, and they don't want to break up again because its easier just to stay together. I think I'm actually going to talk to her about it (keeping my feelings out of it, hopefully) and then tell him how I really feel. Eventually. D">
01-06-04, 05:23 PM
@#%$ it. if they're only there to make out, then she's fair ground man. get a piece of that pie before she finds someone else that actually interests her!
01-07-04, 01:26 AM
Hey, if there's grass on the field, play ball. If there isn't, roll her over and play in the mud. My DVDs
01-07-04, 05:02 AM
01-07-04, 08:29 AM
He's been saving that saying for awhile...you can tell. He just couldn't hold it in any longer.
EZ_Morek the rogue
01-07-04, 01:34 PM
Ive been there man, let me tell you. Find another girl, as of now shes just a friend, thats going out with your best friend. The fact that he called to talk to you about the break up shows that he trusts you a lot, and values your opinions. No date is worth that. There are a million fish in the sea, and trust me from experience.. its not worth losing a good friendship over. Ive had it happen, seen it happen, and know that it will never happen again to me. Please trust me on this.
But if you are certain you have found the one, and everything about her is what you want (not just a booty call). Then be a man about it. Let the feelings of them die down (if they break up again) and talk to your friend about asking her out. If you do that, he will at least know you arent backstabbing him and wont second guess anything you said to him during the break up. That way you are covering your bases on all sides. If she does you wrong, you both can sit and laugh at her bitchiness. If you end up getting married, your friend will be happy for ya (if he gives the ok that is). Friendships are golden bro, its easy to make friends while in school, but once that is over.. trust me, you start missing just hangin out and want those same people to hang with. And its the worst feeling in the world to know that you cant hang with someone because of a girl you didnt date but for a few months.
Sounds cliche, but honesty is the best policy. Drop the hints to the guy now if you want. If you see him doing her wrong, tell him that you would love to have a girl like he has. Put it in his mind that you find her desireable, but off limits *right now*. If it goes south again, then nurture them both back to health, and make your move after you talk to him. But dont close your options off during thier relationship. You might meet someone thats just as good as her, if not better while waiting for them to break up again.
Until then, be a friend, and keep her in the spank bank.
01-07-04, 04:57 PM
Morek, thank you.
Not sure why, but your post has helped me the most. You are absolutely, completely, 100% right.
We need Ladder Theory to rescue this poor bastard.
01-09-04, 11:54 PM
Has anyone said "Do her in the pooper yet?"
And why is this thread still alive?
01-10-04, 12:30 PM
That was good advice. Tell your friend...then GO AFTER THE GIRL!
01-12-04, 10:11 PM
nick (10:36:30 PM): ok, sorry about that, i had to run outside and look for zack's phone, he can't find his cell
nick (10:58:37 PM): guilt is a terrible feeling...which also explains why i kept calling you and zack around new years, i felt like i had to get you guys back together
nick (10:59:36 PM): i hope i'm not keeping you up...it was probably stupid of me to do this tonight
nick (11:12:53 PM): i'm wondering if you haven't suspected for a while...like with the way i kept calling you while you were driving on new years and things like that...i'm also wondering what your thinking and whats going to happen now, but it can't be good
cindy (11:19:31 PM): ok first of all i had a slight feeling that this was coming because last night erica and candace were hinting around to it. but i had no idea you felt this way. im sorry i have put you through pain but also happiness at the same time. i dont know what to say right at this moment except that i have different feelings for each one of you guys. not saying its in a bad way. but i have to have some time to think about everything that is going on. i cant think on the spot. you know how dumb i am and that means that the brain works quite a bit slower. i can tell you that the last thing that i want to do is say something that will hurt you but i dont want to say something that will lead you on either. right now i think that i need to find myself and try and unscramble mine and zack's relationship
<<<cindy (11:22:44 PM): id rather it be just us being friends or continuing on. i really dont know what is going to happen. and please dont get me wrong you are a great guy and you have taught me many things from us being friends. many lessons in life that i will not forget. i am prolly going to go into the airforce and that is going to bring a whole new life for me. i am very shocked that anyone has felt the way that you have. i have always been known to push people away and not draw them near. i am very flattered about all the things you said about me and trust me you have touched my life in a special way too, but right now i need to straighten out my feelings.>>>
cindy (11:23:20 PM): there is no way in hell that i would totally block you out of my life for you telling me how you feel.
cindy (11:23:39 PM): i wouldnt want anyone to do that to me so i would never do that to anyone else
cindy (11:24:27 PM): im sorry if i have left a lot of things unsaid and i know i have but im doing it for a reason. im sorry if this doesnt bring much closure to you but i dont know what else to do right now.
cindy (11:26:22 PM): also zack is bitching at me cause he knows something is going on cause he said you have been acting really weird around him lately and that you said you really wanted to talk to me. he asked if i knew anything (im sorry but damn the morals) i told him that it wasnt my place to tell him. it was between you and him. and if it takes me being out of both of your lives to make things better, then that's what i may have to do
nick (11:26:47 PM): it is to be expected, you probably just handled it the best anyone in your situation could.
nick (11:27:06 PM): yeah, zack is going to be very angry with me now
cindy (11:27:27 PM): you are a very genuine and loving guy and always remember that people everywhere recognize that
cindy (11:28:37 PM): well he is already a little pissed and that is partly my fault cause i wouldn't tell him what was going on. he told me to ask you if i could just tell him and skip all the heartache between you to, but i told him i would have to talk to you
cindy (11:28:56 PM): i dont know if im handling it the best but i promise i am trying
nick (11:31:32 PM): i just tried to call his cell but he didn't answer
cindy (11:32:03 PM): oh
cindy (11:36:00 PM): last night zack asked me what me candace and erica were talking about but i told him we were talking about erica and chris and he asked if i was lying and of course i told him i was. i told him that i didnt know if it was true but they told me that nick kind of had a thing for me. he blew up and said that they were lying, but i really didnt think it was true. if i would have known it was true i would have NEVER said anything. i think he thought they were totally lying too, so i didnt think anything of it. so i think he has an idea of what we are talking about since i wont tell him
nick (11:36:48 PM): are you on the phone with him right now
cindy (11:36:56 PM): no why
nick (11:37:02 PM): just curious
cindy (11:37:13 PM): i talked to him a while ago
nick (11:37:20 PM): when did erica and candace bring this up
cindy (11:38:20 PM): yesterday when we were all over there at chris's. zack would have never even asked but i was taking too long in the house. i told him he could leave cause i knew it was gonna take a while but he wouldn't
cindy (11:38:50 PM): im sorry
nick (11:39:00 PM): you don't have anything to be sorry about
cindy (11:39:18 PM): i feel bad. i have put you in a bad situation.
nick (11:39:28 PM): no, i have put myself in the situation
cindy (11:40:11 PM): you really meant everything you said???
nick (11:43:21 PM): every little bit of it. these feelings have just been growing since before college started. you can ask eirik, we talked practically every night. at times i would try and look for someone else to take my mind off you, like laura and sarah, but there was really only one constant through it all, and that was you
cindy (11:44:01 PM): so eirik knows??
nick (11:45:57 PM): he was the only person i could really talk to about it, because we kind of shared the same feeling, of wanting something we knew we couldn't have, for him it was rebecca
cindy (11:46:47 PM): yeah true..... but rebecca knew.......i had no idea
cindy (11:48:05 PM): if this was sooner maybe it would be easier, (not easy but easier).. im not blaming you its just how i feel and im not going to lie to you cause that is not what i like to do
nick (11:48:06 PM): he probably will shy away from talking about it, we had a deep trust in each other...deeper than i had with erica obviously
nick (11:48:25 PM): i'm not sure what you mean by that
nick (11:48:33 PM): ryan keeps bugging me wondering if you got his email
cindy (11:48:57 PM): yes tell him i will email him back tonight or in he morning. and tell him i said thanks
nick (11:52:31 PM): he said thanks
cindy (11:52:37 PM): yeppers
nick (11:53:50 PM): i was so surprised when you said you were going to join the navy when we were bowling, when you said "because i feel like my life is going nowhere right now" i wanted to be like "i know EXACTLY how you feel" and i wanted to talk to you more about it but i was too afraid of zack
nick (11:54:14 PM): i keep going all over the place in my decisions too...transferring colleges, joined rotc and then dropped out...
cindy (11:55:13 PM): see everyone is afraid of what zack will think. and if he will APPROVE im tired of trying to please him
cindy (11:56:43 PM): i really dont feel like im going anywhere with my life right now and i want to explore the world and broaden my horizons and continue with school so i think that is the way i can do it and keep my goals in mind and not have to settle for less than my goals
nick (11:57:54 PM): i understand that completely
nick (12:03:29 AM): zack really needs to answer his phone
cindy (12:03:37 AM): did you try to call again
nick (12:03:42 AM): yeah a couple times
cindy (12:03:56 AM): huh. let me try to call and see if he answers
nick (12:04:03 AM): ok
nick (12:04:16 AM): what time is your first class tomorrow
cindy (12:04:33 AM): i know he was on his way to simla so maybe he doesnt have service yet
cindy (12:04:53 AM): tomorrow is sunday so none you goofball
cindy (12:04:59 AM): he didnt answer
nick (12:05:04 AM): oh, wow, i'm so dumb
cindy (12:05:38 AM): its ok i forgive ya cause no one can be as dumb as me............checking to see if my comp. has anitfreeze!!!
cindy (12:05:46 AM): antifreeze
nick (12:05:48 AM): hehehe
cindy (12:06:14 AM): so what are your plans for tomorrow
cindy (12:06:30 AM): im gonna make your blanket soon!!!!
nick (12:07:16 AM): i don't really have any...i hope i can smooth this over with zack if he doesn't call me back tonight
nick (12:07:21 AM): that is good to hear
cindy (12:07:43 AM): what are you gonna tell him
nick (12:08:02 AM): when i slept at his house the other night zack gave me the one you made for him, it is really nice
cindy (12:08:14 AM): good you like it?????????????
nick (12:08:15 AM): the truth i guess....it just depends on how i say it i think
nick (12:08:21 AM): very much
cindy (12:08:29 AM): nice.... indeed
cindy (12:08:57 AM): they are really warm
cindy (12:09:01 AM): and comfy
nick (12:09:04 AM): yes they are
nick (12:10:11 AM): when you first responded and said you were expecting something like this because erica and candace were hinting at it, i asked erica about it and she logged off
cindy (12:10:31 AM): yeah that sounds like her
cindy (12:10:44 AM): im not lying to you i promise
nick (12:11:25 AM): i never said i thought you were
cindy (12:11:59 AM): ok just checking
nick (12:13:03 AM): how is bethany doing
cindy (12:16:17 AM): shes alright. we hated unpacking. but we are glad to be done. she is about to read and then she is gonna go to bed
nick (12:17:01 AM): tell her hello for me, and good luck for the semester
cindy (12:17:12 AM): she was telling me about eiriks coach in his room
cindy (12:17:16 AM): ok i will do so
cindy (12:18:16 AM): she said hello and she says thanks and she doesnt know why the heck you mentioned her name for and what that meant but she said she still loves ya anyway.......and so do i
nick (12:19:53 AM): you guys are too much i tell ya
cindy (12:24:33 AM): yeah we know. but how are we too much. everybody tells us that but we never understand
nick (12:25:36 AM): that is a good question
cindy (12:25:50 AM): nick i have to tell you that i love you to death and i dont want to lose our friendship no matter what. if that is all we can have please dont take that away from me cause of zack
cindy (12:27:52 AM): are you still there?
nick (12:27:56 AM): yes
cindy (12:28:11 AM): no answer?
nick (12:28:21 AM): i am not sure what to say
nick (12:28:27 AM): you know how i feel
cindy (12:29:06 AM): ok so now i know i dont have that assurance but all i can do is hope for the best i guess.
nick (12:29:18 AM): what?
cindy (12:30:14 AM): im not sure that i will get to keep your friendship cause if zack has his way we wont be friends, but all i can do is hope for the best out of this situation
nick (12:32:08 AM): do you really think that is what zack will try to do
cindy (12:32:49 AM): i dont know but if he doesnt do that he wont be happy with us being friends
nick (12:33:58 AM): that is probably true, but you do have my assurance that i still want you as a friend if, as you say, that is all i can have
cindy (12:35:44 AM): good deal. like i said i dont want to hurt you in any way. so im gonna try to avoid that completely. so i dont know which way im leaning here but please know i do care
nick (12:36:33 AM): i understand, you do have me a bit perplexed but that is ok, i can tell you are choosing your words carefully and it is for the best
cindy (12:37:10 AM): why do i have you a bit perplexed??
nick (12:37:59 AM): just by the way you are saying things, leaving stuff open-ended and such...
cindy (12:38:14 AM): im sorry i just dont know what to do right now
nick (12:38:24 AM): no need for an apology
cindy (12:38:29 AM): but like what? give me an example
nick (12:38:58 AM): i don't think you want me to, it might just add fuel to the fire
cindy (12:39:34 AM): i dont know how much more fuel we can add to the fuel so you might as well tell me
cindy (12:39:44 AM): i mean fire
cindy (12:41:17 AM): are you there?
nick (12:41:21 AM): yeah give me time
cindy (12:41:28 AM): oh sorry!!!!
nick (12:41:32 AM): no prob
cindy (12:41:37 AM): heheheh
nick (12:42:27 AM): i know i am looking too hard at the things you are saying, and it is my fault
cindy (12:42:39 AM): what do you mean by that
nick (12:42:55 AM): like when you said "nick i have to tell you that i love you to death and i dont want to lose our friendship no matter what. if that is all we can have please dont take that away from me cause of zack"
cindy (12:43:12 AM): well its the truth
cindy (12:43:41 AM): did it take you a while to type my screen name? hahahaha
nick (12:44:48 AM): love is a dangerous word at this point. and you when you say "if friendship is all we can have" that almost sounds like a possibility at something more, just with obstacles in the way, if that makes sense
cindy (12:45:03 AM): yes i totally agree
cindy (12:45:42 AM): i just dont want to hurt you cause my feelings are going crazy right now. they tell me one thing and then another
cindy (12:45:59 AM): it's really good then really bad
cindy (12:46:47 AM): it's like a seesaw. oh man i used to love those things. i would jump off and make my sister hit the ground hard. it was funny stuff hahah
nick (12:46:59 AM): you are evil
cindy (12:47:10 AM): no im not. well.........just sometimes
cindy (12:48:03 AM): but my horns are topped off by a halo
cindy (12:48:30 AM): the horns hold the halo up
nick (12:48:34 AM): interesting
cindy (12:48:41 AM): why?
nick (12:48:51 AM): are you ok?
cindy (12:49:03 AM): what do you mean?
nick (12:49:12 AM): this doesn't sound like the usual cindy
cindy (12:49:16 AM): why do you ask me that
cindy (12:49:45 AM): why doesnt it sound like me. i promise nothing is different
cindy (12:50:19 AM): the reason i said the thing about the horns and halo is cause that is what my mom has told me since i was little
nick (12:50:29 AM): oh, ok
cindy (12:50:50 AM): why did you ask me if i was ok?
nick (12:53:30 AM): i don't know, i talked to you alot over the semester, and it just didn't sound like you. honestly it sounded kinda like bethany at some points
cindy (12:53:54 AM): no i promise she is reading she has not typed one thing
nick (12:54:38 AM): ok
nick (12:54:54 AM): well after what i've told you i wouldn't expect everything to be natural
nick (12:58:11 AM): does bethany have any idea what is going on
cindy (12:59:41 AM): yeah she does cause i had to talk to someone and i can trust her.
cindy (12:59:52 AM): to be honest with you she doesnt like zack and i together at all
nick (1:00:10 AM): i know she doesn;t
cindy (1:00:15 AM): yes everything is natural im still the same old same old cindy
cindy (1:02:15 AM): are ya there
nick (1:02:19 AM): yes
cindy (1:02:22 AM): oh ok
cindy (1:02:25 AM): just checkin
cindy (1:04:41 AM): well sweatie i think im gonn go to bed cause bethany and i are going to church in the morning so i can't sleep in. i hope things work out between you and zack and give me a call.
nick (1:04:54 AM): gah
cindy (1:05:14 AM): always remember to smile...... people are thinking about ya
cindy (1:05:22 AM): why did you say gah?
nick (1:06:00 AM): i just...i don't know
cindy (1:06:30 AM): what??? tell me
nick (1:07:18 AM): how can you say some of these things after what i've said
cindy (1:07:48 AM): im sorry. im just being normal. you know i have always said these things and im not gonna change
cindy (1:08:05 AM): do you want me to be mean and short with you
cindy (1:08:11 AM): that's not what i want
nick (1:08:11 AM): of course not
cindy (1:08:32 AM): have i not always said these things?
nick (1:09:21 AM): yes, you have
cindy (1:09:36 AM): i wont say them if they hurt you
nick (1:11:44 AM): no
nick (1:11:55 AM): it is my fault, i need to stop reading into things so bad
cindy (1:12:10 AM): nick youíre fine donít worry so much
nick (1:13:05 AM): now THAT is a bad answer
cindy (1:13:41 AM): oh sorry!!! why?
nick (1:14:41 AM): it is like you just told me that i am justified in reading into things so much
cindy (1:16:01 AM): ok well i dont know what else to say except for have a good night and smile.
cindy (1:16:14 AM): sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite
nick (1:16:33 AM): oh boy...ok, good night, i'll talk to you tomorrow i'm sure
cindy (1:16:54 AM): k good night. i prolly wont be able to sleep
nick (1:17:08 AM): wow, this is a trip
cindy (1:17:15 AM): so much info in the noggin
cindy (1:17:33 AM): what is a trip? to college?? yeah it is!! hahahahaha
cindy (1:17:46 AM): or to texas??
cindy (1:17:51 AM): where are ya goin????????
nick (1:17:59 AM): a trip as in crazy situation
cindy (1:18:17 AM): i know im just givin ya a hard time. loosin up
nick (1:18:27 AM): i wish i could
cindy (1:18:49 AM): im sorry ive put you guys in this situation
nick (1:19:07 AM): please stop saying that, it is not your fault
cindy (1:19:41 AM): what are you doing
cindy (1:20:03 AM): or what are you going to be doing
nick (1:20:33 AM): try to sleep i suppose
cindy (1:20:44 AM): ok well call if you cant'
nick (1:22:05 AM): i thought you were trying to go to bed yourself?
cindy (1:22:21 AM): yeah but im gonna read some cause i dont think i can sleep
cindy (1:23:21 AM): good night nick and sleep well
nick (1:23:26 AM): you too Edited by: BuyATradeSkill at: 1/13/04 10:26 pm
01-12-04, 10:14 PM
nick (2:04:08 PM): zack
zack (2:04:22 PM): whats up
zack (2:04:30 PM): i just got eveything hooked up as you can see
nick (2:04:34 PM): you gonna answer your phone sometime today?
zack (2:04:42 PM): it sucks the biggest nuts ever
zack (2:04:48 PM): it is in the car right now
zack (2:05:06 PM): wow.....so fast...
nick (2:05:16 PM): i guess we'll talk on here then, if you've got time
zack (2:06:07 PM): if you wanna
zack (2:06:13 PM): i have about 10 min
nick (2:06:27 PM): obviously you know something is up
nick (2:07:34 PM): i have been extremely....jealous...of something you have lately. jealous might not be the proper word, but it will have to do
nick (2:09:12 PM): my emotions are running wild....for a certain someone in your life. but the guilt is tearing me apart, because your my best friend, and i love you like a brother. well maybe not like my brother, cuz we don't get along but you know what i mean
nick (2:09:37 PM): i had to get it out in the open, and it happened last night
nick (2:12:18 PM): it is seriously not my intention to try and @#%$ things up. i just figured i needed to be honest about it. i don't want things to go bad between us because of this
zack (2:14:46 PM): dude, my mom is single now......
zack (2:14:57 PM): but thats just nasty
nick (2:15:03 PM): what?
zack (2:15:26 PM): but, you know, you were the only one who had any faith in me and her and you were the only one who told me to get back with her
zack (2:15:37 PM): you like someone close to me?
nick (2:15:46 PM): oh i get you lol
zack (2:15:47 PM): my mom......kinda to lighten the mood
zack (2:15:56 PM): thats my best material
nick (2:17:18 PM): i'll give you props for that
nick (2:17:28 PM): but yeah
nick (2:20:18 PM): i always tried to do the bros before hoes thing
nick (2:20:48 PM): but i don't know what to do now
nick (2:22:37 PM): i mean, its out there now, but its not necessarily a good thing
nick (2:24:16 PM): are you still there?
nick (2:29:35 PM): i think part of me trying to get you guys back together was my guilt talking
zack (2:30:20 PM): i am here, sorry about that
nick (2:30:29 PM): no prob
zack (2:31:12 PM): you are my bestfriend
zack (2:31:35 PM): i don't really know what else to say except that you are my best friend
nick (2:35:57 PM): best friends should be honest with each other about everything
nick (2:36:06 PM): but where this goes now, i do not know
zack (2:37:10 PM): ya got me
01-13-04, 06:50 AM
First off, I gotta say I want my 10 minutes back...
Quote:i have to tell you that i love you to death and i dont want to lose our friendship
She means love in a platonic (friendship) way. Stop reading into that @#%$. She also said she was dumb. I believe her. No smart person, unless they are dyslexic, can possibly read that slow, yet expect someone else to type a response in five seconds.
She is also reveling in her newfound power. Power over someone else because of their feelings for her. She can afford to go "back and forth," as she said, because you are in love with her, not the other way around. And that is not going to change when she joins the military, especially if she is stupid. For every stupid girl that joins, there are five or ten stupid men. Look at the odds, man. They aren't good. Yeah, she goes to church, but I doubt that will stop her.
Honestly I think it would be better for you if she never ever spoke to you again. She is just leading you on because she can. I know because my slut of a sister did the same @#%$ to guys in her school. She toyed with their emotions like a lion with an injured baby gazelle.
Anyway, good luck with it. This can't end good. Bros before hoes is a good saying. Really, you should stick to it.
01-13-04, 06:51 AM
Gotta say neither of them told you much. I understand your frustration with her and I'd say it's justified. Oh well, maybe they don't want to say it or they don't know what they feel and how they intend to deal with the situation yet. Either way, took balls to say that. GL. Though I'd guess she'll stay with zack, zack'll disown you as a friend, and she'll follow him against her will. Personally I think that'd be better than trying to be just friends though.
01-13-04, 09:10 AM
Well about the reading slow thing...its not just reading, its thinking. I had prepared my thoughts before this, she obviously didn't. According to the times she waited 2 minutes after saying the love friend thing before saying "no answer?" And honestly I just sat there staring at the screen wondering what the @#%$ to say. I know there was a damn long time between the time I stopped talking and the time she started. I was watching the chat screen, it kept saying "cindy is typing a message" and then it would go away, so I'm thinking she was having trouble deciding what to say. Also she was probably talking to her roommate at the time. I have an urge to call her roommate (we are old highschool friends) and prod for a little info but I'll resist that for now Yeah she doesn't look all that smart, but I think she is smarter than she looks online, and its her caring personality and common sense that attracts me to her, not her booksmarts. Also you saw when I said that didn't sound her, she doesn't usually to the stupid joke with a "hahahaha", that is more her roommate's style, which is why I confronted her about it.
And now I'm defending her...egads
01-13-04, 09:45 AM
@#%$. I can't believe I read all of this.
seek help ...
Insult Removed. --Gyorg
Edited by: Gyorg at: 1/13/04 10:09 am
01-13-04, 11:01 AM
Granted I skimmed most of it.. but all I kept seeing was
(Lets be friends) over and over. Sorry bro, time to start the introverted lifestyle writting dark poetry.. er I mean time for me to use a old cliche' because there is a reason cliche's become such. They are true in many situations, thousand fish in the sea, heh
01-13-04, 11:38 AM
I got friend vibes, but it doesn't seem like she likes Zack all that much either.
Is her real name Elisa Jones? <
01-13-04, 11:58 AM
Same here. Got "friends" vibe, but also got "goin to stick with boyfriend" vibe. I knew this chick back in KS. I went out with her, and our mutual friend (her roommate, my friend) for dinner. I think the first time I'd met her but she kept going on and on about how the guy was a crappy guy, she cheated on him, she didn't like him, she'd dump him tomarrow. Just talked to her boyfriend a week or 2 ago. They're still together.
You're going to have to learn the hard way, because you're into deep to look at it objectively.
I just hope you learn from it and move on, and don't go overboard and become a believer in the Laddertheory or perma-disfunctional in relationships.
When you fall in love in college you'll be amazed at how shallow your feelings were at this point in time. And then if you fall in love after college you'll be further amazed at how shallow you were in college....
Oh, one more thing... relationship are all about power. If you care less about someone than they do about you, you have power. If they care less about you than you for them, they have power. There's nothing you can do to get someone to care more for you when there is this power differential. All your efforts are counter to your goals. And all your life you've learned that expressing your love for someone helps, when in reality doing it too soon simply hurts.
Pick up Roland Barthes' A Lover's Discourse to find someone who understands unrequitted love. Edited by: Lisboa at: 1/13/04 12:38 pm
01-13-04, 12:43 PM
Why would anyone want to be in an instable relationship?
No one wants to be an unstable relationship, the point is it does not work if one person cares/loves a lot and the other much less. I wouldn't even call it a relationship.
01-13-04, 02:43 PM
Quote:don't go overboard and become a believer in the Laddertheory or perma-disfunctional in relationships.
No, no! By all means, don't do THAT!!! Much better to subscribe to the Lisboa worldview on relationships (as opposed to believing all relationships are dysfunctional).
Quote:relationship are all about power. If you care less about someone than they do about you, you have power. If they care less about you than you for them, they have power. There's nothing you can do to get someone to care more for you when there is this power differential. All your efforts are counter to your goals.
Not trying to pick a fight, Lisboa, just that post made me laugh so hard I couldn't resist.
01-13-04, 04:02 PM
Dude, she doesn't want either of you. Quit trying to read into what she said. She even said she doesn't want to be mean to you. She wants to stay friends, so just let it be. Go lust after someone else.
The Shadow Order
Eh, I have a good relationship. :">
01-14-04, 03:19 AM
Quote:become a believer in the Laddertheory
Eh, the ladder theory is so true. I mean, the general idea, not all the ultracynic jabs he throws in, but the theory about the ladder position is completely correct, just like you said later in your post.
01-14-04, 11:53 AM
Well Zack finally decided to talk a bit in real life about it. He called me, after my car accident, before I told him about it he said he was glad I came to him about it, it says alot about my personality because he wouldn't have had the balls to do it, and said he was glad we were still best friends. He also threw the platonic love in there too.
This is still going against all expected outcomes...and I don't think its over yetD">
The answer is obvious... threesome.
OK, all kidding aside... here's my take on the situation.
Cindy likes you mentally... you both are probably on the same wavelength when you talk, and you enjoy each other's company and chatting. You could (and probably have) spent hours just talking about nothing. However, she's only attracted to you mentally, and hasn't grown up enough to realize that it's the big picture that matters. You probably are a good fit for her... but she doesn't see you in that way. It's obvious by the conversation that she likes you, but "not that way". At least not now... I bet in 10 years she'll be kicking herself for not dating you. (Do I sound like I'm talking from experience here? lol) Right now she loves the attention of 2 men... she's getting her mental stimulation from you and all other stimulation from Zach. Having cake and eating it too.
Zach is a good friend, and I'm sure he's upset at the fact that you like his girlfriend. However, he doesn't want to lose you OR her. He's in a lose-lose situation here... if he gets pissed at you, he'll lose your friendship and potentially his girlfriend. If he lets this slide and acts like nothing's wrong, he'll still have your friendship and her sex0r. Expect a big blowup in the future though... eventually he'll get upset because your feelings won't go away and you'll still be chatting with her.
So yeah... that's my take on it. And I'm not trying to act like Mom here, but seriously... in 10 years.. heck, maybe in 5 years, you will look back on this situation and laugh.
01-14-04, 12:22 PM
What ever happened to never chewing on another dog's bone? I mean really. If this guy if your friend then you're soooo in the wrong for trying to even take what's his. Doing it in the creepiest way possible is also negaitive points against you.
You're not being a good wingman here.....
01-14-04, 12:38 PM
Yeah, whatever you do, don't chew on Zack's bone.
01-14-04, 03:30 PM
FIND A DIFFERENT GIRL!
01-15-04, 07:13 AM
Quote:The answer is obvious... threesome.
Quote:What ever happened to never chewing on another dog's bone?
01-15-04, 12:34 PM
Now we need Aidden to come in and Declare Never take dating advise from the Safehouse.
I think Dorla nailed it, you're young go have fun with your life and forget about someone who will not give as much as they just want to recieve. Now forget all that as per what I first said.
01-15-04, 01:36 PM
The part where he reveals his love looks familiar...
Of couse, that doesn't change the sentiment behind the words. :)
01-15-04, 02:21 PM
Haha! I can't believe you stole lines from Chasing Amy. No wonder you wanted to tell her in chat rather than on the phone.
01-15-04, 04:39 PM
I thought it sounded familiar.
01-15-04, 10:57 PM
I wondered how long before someone figured it out I mentioned it before I began...
01-17-04, 01:15 AM
heh that's what the Elissa comment was about. <
01-17-04, 12:07 PM
Oh man, that's great. Using a Kevin Smith movie to get across important feelings...its beautiful.
01-21-04, 09:55 PM
Ditto, I knew that line. I have that giant speech afleck says at the very bottom of my quote list, it's just such a great expression of emotion.
01-21-04, 10:11 PM
Maybe if you watched Vulgar (Smiths film) with her she would go for you..
01-21-04, 10:12 PM
Find another woman you are only slightly interested in, do her in the pooper, call her "Cindy" during the act and move on away from her.
Problem solved. :P
(above is like safehouse medical advice, if you take it, then only you can be responsible for the ensuing actions that occur. Where's my damn indemnity clause lawyer mumbo jumbo when I need it? )
01-22-04, 09:47 AM
Go for the chick. Hey if she cheats on your friend with you, tell your friend about it, let him know. Hey at least this way he finds out, cause if she'll o you, she'll do me (just as an example) and I wouldn't tell him! You could be saving your best friend loads of heartbreak in the future, it is your duty as a friend to try and bang his girl! for his sake!
God I love my evil twisted logic ~Chaos~
- SMF -
More Violent Than "Hardcore