So you want to play hardball, eh?

[Kaielen]

Alright...let me start with a bit o' info about myself.

I'm suprisingly quiet and shy in person. On the internet, behind the anonymity of a BBS troll,(humility off) I can be a heavenly mixture of clever, sarcastic, witty, and charming(humility on)

In person I am quiet, introverted, and very uncomfortable in large groups of people. Let's just say that meeting or interacting with women is somewhat of a chore for me and I have to be REALLY interested in a girl to come out of my shell.

So, here I am, in this little hick bar/dance hall with a couple of friends, and there is this BEAUTIFUL Portugese girl who comes and joins our table. This girl was one to floor even the most egotistical of guys, and every single guy in the place had a special place in his vision for her.

Low and behold...she sat next to me, and we began to talk.

Again, a bit of history about myself. I have a girl friend. Not a girlfriend but a friend who happens to be a female. We hang out a lot and she stays over, but we don't click in that way. One of my good friends (we'll call him Soandso for the purposes of this rant) knows about the relationship this girl and I have. He knows damn well (I've told him before and we've talked about it in confidence) that I'm not interested in a relationship with her as anything but friends.

Well, I go to buy drinks for everyone, and come back to find my good friend sitting in my @#%$ seat TALKING TO HER! THEN HE ASKS HER TO DANCE!!!

YOU DIRTY @$$ @#%$SUCKING BASTARD!! You just couldn't @#%$ STAND IT that she would choose to come talk to me, so you move in on my target while I'm buying you and everyone else a beer!? @#%$ YOU AND DIE, @#%$!

So I move back in and bump his ass out of my way while they're dancing with the, "Mind if I cut in?" line.

Goddess: "So, you have a girlfriend? What's her name?"

Kaielen: "Uh...what? Who told you I have a girlfriend?"

Goddess: "Your friend, Soandso. Says you two are really close."

Kaielen: "Oh...I have a girlfriend, huh? Well...it's not really like that. It's a long story if you want to go talk somewhere."

Goddess: "Well, I don't have a lot of time, really. I think I'm going somewhere with Soandso after this song."

Kaielen: "You like Soandso?"

Goddess: "Yeah, he's really funny. He asked me out tonight"

Kaielen: "Really? Is his wife going too? OH! Did he show you the pictures of his kids?" *Pulls out wallet and shows her Soandso in company with family*

Goddess: *After a moment of thought, calmly walks over and throws drink in Soandso's face.*

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, @#%$FACE? I hope you THOUROUGHLY enjoyed how @#%$ hard I laughed afterwards, and how I completely knocked your **** in the dirt when you got uppity outside about it!

1 year since I've bothered to even TRY to pick up on a woman and YOU @#%$BLOCK ME!? WOW! What would I do without a friend like you, @#%$!?

Now...he's been trying to call. I feel bad about throwing down on him, but he threw the first punch. I don't know if he wants to chew on me or what, but what I DO know, is that Miss Portugal and I have a rendezvous planned for next weekend, and she completely hates Soandso now. I don't know if I should forgive and forget, or throw him another beating. Let's just say I'm so @#%$ mad right now I could spit fire and @#%$ lightning.

[Llabak Tharr]

No mercy.

That @#%$ ain't right.

[EZ_Urdegish]

/cheer

Id have done no different, maybe except sending Soandso for the drinks which is a good way to prevent people moving in on the girl you just got talking to Elder Urdegish Frogmuncha
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[Kaielen]

I've learned that lesson for next time.

[Nenjin]

You call this guy a friend? He sounds like a @#%$ dirt bag to me. The being married with kids part really takes the cake. You should have kicked him while he was down for that, then spit on him for moving on your prey without even asking you. Don't feel bad in the slighest, he sounds like a total loser. "They will come back, come back again, as long as the Red Earth rolls. He never wasted a tree or a leaf, why should he squander souls?"

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions

[Kaielen]

Erm...well...he's actually divorced. I never did throw away the picture of him, wife, and kids.

That one was all me being an ass to get back at him for moving in on my mack.

Edit: Although, I do agree about him moving in on the girl I was after, hence the post. I can't help but feel as if I stooped to his level using the picture, regardless of how much he deserved it. I guess the guilt of this is making me consider just forgiving/forgetting. Edited by: Kaielen at: 11/7/03 10:55 am

[Dragynphyre]

Hey, it's a dog-eat-dog world, and he was wearing Milk Bone underwear (a slight variation on a Cheers Norm-ism)

Thinking about it, he was being a bit of a slime by saying you already had a girlfriend so that she would lose interest in you...so maybe it was fair play for you to have the trump card up your sleeve, so to speak... maybe you'll be able to turn this whole thing into a 'remember when you...and then I...' episode with him.

If it does work out between you and Ms. Lisbon, you should come clean and tell her that your friend wasn't actually married (of course be slick and make it sound like she was the moon and stars and you just couldn't live without getting to know her better - heh) (Back In Black)
Delissandra Splitshadow - Veteran Deceiver of the Circle of Unseen Hands
Grandmaster Poisoner (250), Master Potter (191), Grandmaster Lush (200)

Edited by: Dragynphyre at: 11/7/03 11:07 am

[Nenjin]

Hhhhrrrmmmm.......

The fact he actually wasn't married makes him look better. I can see your guilt though. But he essentially did the same thing to you, and I believe in turnabout is fair play. Either way, he was being a @#%$, @#%$ friend, and that warrants a beating(in your situation), especially if he has the cohones to get angry afterwards. I can sympathize, I have a girl-friend who I have a relationship with like the one you described, all my friends know it, and if one of them tried to tell another girl I was taken, I'd be kicken some ass too.

I think your goddess will understand. Edited by: Nenjin Darkeyes at: 11/7/03 11:08 am

[EZ_Urusai]

:LOL Classic!
Id give him a chance to forgive/forget. But only if the goddess knows that he really is divorced. He may try to bite back on you with that.

It was wrong of him to try it though. It was "A fish on your line" so to speak. He just tried grabbing the rod while you were handing him a beer then claiming it was his. Not a 'friend-like' thing to do.

[Nocte]

Bwahahah. Good pwnage!

I had a friend who worked in quite an opposite manner. Back in our swinging bachelor days, He'd go out on the town trolling for easy ugly chicks and use MY NAME and MY PHONE NUMBER to get off scott free. ^$%#! At least 3 very determined girls arranged to meet me so I could prove them wrong. I could have been a bastage and send them to his house, but I'm not that brutal.

@#%$ was my best man a few years ago too.
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[freonsmurf]

What a @#%$ @#%$.

Grow some balls, get some real friends.

Get some real @#%$.

It's only wrong if you get caught.If consequences dictate my course of action I should play GOD

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[EZ_Swipey]

Be prepared to explain all this to the Goddess when she finds out that he was married but wasnt any more when you -lied- to her and said he was.

I suppose it wont be fatal if you explain well enough to her that you were just turning things about on him when he misrepresented your relationship with your friend who happens to be female in order to manipulate her. If you explain it poorly, she may either think 1) you're a ****, or 2) you're not someone she can trust or rely on.

[Nimmbull]

I think it's hilarious that a guy who comes across like you do on a message board can't get laid. Confirms a lot of stereotypes.

Anyways, good "pwnage".

Nimm

[EZ_Gyorg]

I'd explain it to her in that "I'm guilty and feel horrible and you only did it because she was so amazing and can you ever forgive me" way before something forces you to tell her.

[Nimmbull]

And here's my advice: Stop pandering to her because she's attractive.

[Lisboa]

Yeah if you act like a doormat, she'll treat you like one.

[EZ_Gyorg]

Or until your money runs out.

[Kaielen]

If anyone cares to know the ending of this scenario...

My friend got back together with his ex-wife this weekend. And the goddess is as dumb as a box of empty Twinky wrappers. *sighs*

My friends are insane.

Quote:I think it's hilarious that a guy who comes across like you do on a message board can't get laid. Confirms a lot of stereotypes.

Wtf does that mean?

[Dragynphyre]

Heh, so it's all moot now anyway.

I think the stereotype he's saying that you fit is the 'Bold Online/Shy Offline' one

[Kaielen]

Ahhh! Aye, that would definately be my stereotype. I'm not afraid of any man alive.

Women, however, scare the @#%$ out of me.

[Lisboa]

So how dumb was she? Are you sure it's not just sour grapes?

[Kaielen]

No sour grapes. I'm not even attracted to her now that I've gotten enough conversation without loud music in the background. Apparently she's only smart enough to come up with conversation topics between really loud songs.

Thank God I found that out before our planned weekend.

/shudder

[EZ_Urusai]

You could have use the time for other things.
Then when that got boring find someone to talk to.

[Lisboa]

She's speaking a foreign language, what do you expect, a discourse on Camus and The Fall?

[EZ_Swipey]

She wont be talking at all if you come up with some other way to keep her mouth busy...

[EZ_Urusai]

Were just a bunch of dirty minded perverts around here sometimes arn't we.

[EZ_Swipey]

Kissing isnt that perverted, Urusai. What were you thinking of? :P Edited by: Swipey at: 11/12/03 9:11 am