View Full Version : Baby as weapon. 1d2 damage.
All in favor of requiring a license for parental fitness, say aye.
Mom accused of swinging baby as weapon
ERIE, Pa. - A woman used her 4-week-old baby as a weapon in a domestic dispute, swinging the infant through the air and striking her boyfriend with the child, authorities said.
The boy was in serious but stable condition Monday at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh, police said.
"Never, never, never. I can never remember anything like this," District Attorney Bradley Foulk told the Erie Times-News.
Chytoria Graham, 27, of Erie, was charged with aggravated assault, reckless endangerment and simple assault. She was held Monday in the Erie County Jail in lieu of $75,000 bail.
The infant, whose name was not released, suffered a fractured skull and some bleeding in the brain, authorities said. His head hit Graham's boyfriend, the baby's father, police Lt. Dan Spizarny said.
Authorities removed four other children from Graham's home and placed them with the Erie County Office of Children and Youth, Foulk said.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061010/ap_on_re_us/baby_as_weapon;_ylt=AiOMDdq5HGWbVt_JYbYNeFhvzwcF;_ ylu=X3oDMTA0cDJlYmhvBHNlYwM-
Yea I read that story in the news, its quite disturbing. Amazing what people are capable of!
:shock Bubba :shock
Wow, I mean I've heard of evolution at work but wow, that woman just took it to a whole new level. A sick and twisted level but there's still a small part of me that's certainly going to hell that's admiring the directness of this approach to natural selection.
Caowyth
10-10-06, 02:21 PM
Wouldn't a baby count as an improvised weapon?
The real question, I think, is whether or not you get the offhand penalty for DW babies.
And what if the baby is wielding... another baby?
Well, a 4 month old baby is at least 10 lbs., which probably less than the weight of a short sword.
Caowyth
10-10-06, 02:53 PM
We're all going to hell for this you realize...
That said, based off her mugshot it looks like he got an attack of opportunity.
Deltar Battlewall
10-10-06, 03:58 PM
Wow. Based on what Caowyth said, I made the mistake of going in search of the mugshot, so I clicked on "Discuss". I can feel myself getting stupider just by reading the thread titles contained therein. Very sad.
Yes, where is this mugshot?
Caowyth
10-10-06, 04:35 PM
http://www.courttv.com/home_news/index.html
Currently it's the small one on the left.
Wow so much new info in that second article. All in all quality human beings.
"And the award for mother of the year goes to....
Chytoria Graham!
I'll be accepting the award on behalf of Ms. Graham who is currently incarcerated in PA State Penetentury. But she would like to thank God, Her Baby's Daddy, Her Baby and of course the nice state of PA for incarcerating her."
Hummerlein
10-10-06, 07:38 PM
Any fighter that doesn't take weapon spec: baby is useless.
Of course, weapon spec: baby wielding baby is only for the hardest cores.
DarthEnderX
10-10-06, 09:28 PM
Wouldn't a baby count as an improvised weapon?Nothing is an improvised weapon if you have an Exotic Weapon Proficiency for it.
One time I made a baguy that put dynamite in the diapers of babies and threw them. The Paladin HAS to try to catch them!
Lenilya
10-10-06, 10:37 PM
Is it better to use a baby 2-handed, one handed with shield, or dual-wielded?
Do twins give any kind of stat bonus?
Deltar Battlewall
10-10-06, 11:14 PM
One time I made a baguy that put dynamite in the diapers of babies and threw them. The Paladin HAS to try to catch them!
I'd like to nominate this for the quote rotation! :spew
Babies as weapons are alignment restricted to chaotic evil characters only.
Is it better to use a baby 2-handed, one handed with shield, or dual-wielded?
Clearly, babies do not weigh enough to impart the +1 damage for wielding them 2 handed. Therefore using one with a shield would be optimal I think...plus depending on your play style, it might count as 2 shields.
Well, I guess you could count them as both shields and swords depending on usage. So you could dual wield them but use one as a shield and the other as a weapon. Of course you lose precision that way, so using a baby 1hand is probably better unless you have ambidextrous and dual wield maxed.
Hummerlein
10-11-06, 04:10 PM
Pfft baby shield sux. They're way too soft and squishy.
Baby boots I can understand.
Bombs in the Diapers? Devious!
I'm reminded of the teddybear bomber episode of Cowboy Bebop... that one had me rolling.
namepending
10-11-06, 04:31 PM
yeah, but if you use two hands to wield, you get 1.5x damage, right?
too bad the weapon would wear out quickly...
Hummerlein
10-11-06, 04:52 PM
Not if it is a Baby +1.
Lenilya
10-11-06, 06:10 PM
Yeah, and then that one guy who everyone hates shows up, sees your Baby +1, and bitches and moans until he gets a Vorpal Baby.
ShadowCross
10-11-06, 10:40 PM
But if you want to enchant a baby to get a +1 baby, it has to be a masterpiece baby! Do you know how difficult it is to get those?
Just imagine all the skill points you'd have to have in sex to fashion a masterpiece baby...
If by points you mean attempts, then yes, I CAN imagine how many attempts ill have to do, and believe me. I dont mind. Ill keep trying till I get it right darn it!
ShadowCross
10-11-06, 11:46 PM
Dammit, i was so going to post that kind of reply, Xynn!
I'm thinking that severe reflux would be an acid based attack, with a cone a la dragon breath.
Full Diaper? That's aoe, affects wielder also.
DoonBackfighter
10-12-06, 09:36 AM
I :heart this thread. :lol
Dragynphyre
10-12-06, 11:11 AM
Baby also has a grapple attack
But seriously, that woman should be forcibly sterilized. If she endangered the life of her child by taking a swipe at the child's father WITH the child, there's no reason why she should ever be allowed to have another one. Period.
Does the baby add a bonus to the pickpocket roll? Cuz if you could dual-wield dual-wielding babies and they could all pickpocket, you're in for some phat lewtz.
Pyrocat Moonstalker
10-12-06, 05:04 PM
Using a baby as a shield? Oh man that would be perfect for an evil campaign.
"Find yourself hunted by the law? Constantly hounded by goody-2-shoes? Try our patented defense against do-gooders! New 'BabyShield' technology straps living breathing babies to your body, preventing anyone with a conscience from physically attacking you! Never worry about those pesky paladin broadswords again! And as a bonus, when the babies eventually die you can throw their corpses at your opponent for a guarenteed distraction! Call now and we'll throw in a two week supply of baby formula for free! Are you a necromancer, or travel with one? Nothing makes a good-alined citizen hesitate like a walking dead baby, statisically proven to be more effective than caltrops while making an escape!"
ROFLMFAO!!!
Undead Dead Baby Zombies FTW!!!!
:pimp Bubba :pimp
PS Neutral people could still attack you with your patented baby shield!
ShadowCross
10-12-06, 09:57 PM
We're all soooo going to hell for this! ;)
Having a shield of living babies strapped to you body eventually also creates an extraordinary ability called "Aura of Stench".
This is so immoral.
But hilarious!!
A shield of living babies... brilliant!
DarthEnderX
10-13-06, 12:49 AM
"I'm casting Wall of Babies in front of the chimera"
That is so going in the next D&D game I run.
DoonBackfighter
10-13-06, 06:23 PM
http://www.imgshost.com/uploads/9751d75da9.jpg
Hummerlein
10-13-06, 06:26 PM
BADASS...hahahaha
DarthEnderX
10-14-06, 05:12 AM
That's the greatest thing I've ever seen.
Of course, it was my idea!