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View Full Version : Piano Playing Kittens, CNN, and my blood pressure


Aura
04-25-07, 04:44 PM
Hey! You know what I remember? No, it's not Ecto Coolers, Max Headroom, or Beakman's World.. I remember when CNN actually reported ******* NEWS. Don't get me wrong, I know they've always been a little full of ****. They reported the soap opera ****, but they reported the soap opera **** from people that were at least within the scope of the relevant section of the social sphere. Much as I may not give a **** about which direction Clinton's Penis bends, or how many woman Newt Gingrich has ******. (AH ******* IMAGES! I CAN SEE IT IN MY HEAD! HIS PASTY, BOIL-COVERED ASS! JESUS ****, IT'S WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST!) at least they were trying.

But honestly, CNN - is this (http://www.cnn.com/video/player/player.html?url=/video/offbeat/2007/04/25/youtube.piano.cat.youtube&wm=11) the best you can find for your front goddamned page? EXTRA EXTRA! CAT PLAYS A ******* PIANO! LOLOMGZ!

Today, Kucinich was to announce the articles of impeachment against cheney. (http://rawstory.com/news/2007/Kucinich_set_to_announce_Articles_of_0424.html) Yesterday, we found an earth-like planet that might sustain life (http://story.malaysiasun.com/index.php/ct/9/cid/b8de8e630faf3631/id/243780/cs/1/). ****, here's something to report on! 2 of our hero soldiers turn out to have had their heroic stories fabricated (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=450509&in_page_id=1770).

How about some hard hitting journalism about the direction of NASA with this new finding or the repercussions of these allegations for national trust in the pentagon, or an examination of what impeachment of Cheney could entail? But no, I don't suppose there's any reason to cover that when there are ******* piano-playing kittens for us to be concerned about. Holy ****, guys! The cats are learning to play the piano! Next they'll be drinking our beer, ******* our women, and sleeping in our beds! We must follow this story to its conclusion.

Where's your Anna Nicole-Smith-like coverage of the important **** out there? Will the articles of impeachment go through? Will they be proposed? Is this just a Hail Mary by the democrats to earn the favor of their party before election time? No time to discuss that, I suppose - but when Tits McGee dies, you'll spend every waking hour of the day covering the tragedy, trial, and autopsy until the entire world knows that "the anus was unremarkable."

I used to think it was closed minded people that were eroding the fabric of our society. Then, I thought that it was fundamentalist religion. Now, I'm convinced. It's **** like this. Piano playing ******* kittens on the front page of CNN.

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Everytime you masturbate onto the face of a starving homeless child, God puts piano-playing kittens on the front page of CNN.

Koru
04-25-07, 04:51 PM
Would I be considered a bad person if I were to reply with the below and thus stab at two rant hall threads in one go?
Hay, cute kittens!! Their so funny!!

Trolo
04-25-07, 05:15 PM
Everytime you masturbate onto the face of a starving homeless child, God puts piano-playing kittens on the front page of CNN.

I was just wondering who was the culprit.

Could it have been Aura himself?

Jhani Vandolay
04-25-07, 05:18 PM
NSFW (http://www.sp00kachu.org/images/corpse.jpg)

Xynn
04-25-07, 06:49 PM
NSFW (http://www.sp00kachu.org/images/corpse.jpg)
...its an owl?

Daton Everon
04-25-07, 06:55 PM
Someone PLEASE post the link to the piano playing kitty.

Purr

Lenilya
04-25-07, 07:10 PM
LOL NINJAS ON CNN WEBSITE

FarSky
04-25-07, 11:16 PM
You know how funny stuff starts out funny and becomes uncontrollably hilarious the later it gets?

It's 1:15am and I've spent the last ten minutes, no exaggeration, laughing out loud at this rant.

I am FarSky, and I approve this rant.

Dragynphyre
04-26-07, 05:55 AM
Next they'll be drinking our beer, ******* our women, and sleeping in our beds!

Well, mine's got at least 1 of those 3 down...

Deser
04-26-07, 06:37 AM
As much as I agree with you, the blame doesn't rest only with CNN. Its got a lot to do with the general populace too. Most people don't give a rats ass about Cheny being impeached (in fact most people probably couldn't tell you who cheney is). Most people don't care about what normal people consider REAL news.

And CNN is a business, just like McDonalds or whatever. If they don't report on news/stories that their reader/viewer base is interested in, they go out of business. So what do we get - cats playing the ******* piano.

And its just gonna get worse since the general populace seems to be getting dumberer and dumberer every god damn day.

Qutsmnie
04-26-07, 03:35 PM
See there is your trouble. Once your product is designed for the masses its bound to suck.

Deser
04-27-07, 05:51 AM
See there is your trouble. Once your product is designed for the masses its bound to suck.

QFT

Meddik
04-27-07, 06:16 PM
See there is your trouble. Once your product is designed for the masses its bound to suck.

And we should know. We are the masses.

Nenjin
04-28-07, 01:51 PM
Is that anything like 'we are legion'?

Kojeero
04-29-07, 09:31 PM
Well, mine's got at least 1 of those 3 down...
who's your cat... never mind...