A social dilemma

[EZ_Ciba]

From a friend at work

How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and

Southerners?

Answer. Pose the following question:


You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 23, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

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Democrat Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have the appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I
were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.This is all so confusing! I need
to confer with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

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Republican Answer:


BANG!

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Southerner's Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG!

click....(sounds of reloading a fresh magazine).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?

[Lisboa]

Hmm, if we had a working search function I would find this joke.

[freonsmurf]

Use keywords: lame and unfunny.

[DarkOmen42]

Haha, I'm southern, and that rules. Hara

[EZ_Ten Evenings]

Wow, thats stupid.

[EZ_Pharius Ravenslock]

Wrong, that is PURE hilarity.

Makin' things hot since 1983!

[EZ_Loxmyf]

Too funny.
Loxmyf's Profile
Eyekan's Profile

[Yalum]

What about southern Democrats? There are some of us left, you know.

[Ponzi]

Quote:What about southern Democrats? There are some of us left, you know.


BANG I'm sorry but... BANG your socioeconomic status... BANG is forcing you to do this... BANG as a result of... BANG the economic unfairness... BANG of this society.

[Meddik]

That was great!

[EZ_Diabalein Avidyia]

Ponzi wins

[EZ_skewerzjoo]

glock only has a 10 round magazine? If it was a southerner, there would have been one chambered..hehe

btw....funny Edited by: skewerzjoo at: 3/15/04 11:53 am

[EZ_Fallen One]

awesomeness

[Nocte]

GOOD OLE CALIFORNIA--
Not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, & Texan jokes...

You know you're in California when......

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

9. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US

13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.

14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

18. Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH 2004."

19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks himself is teaching the 4:00pm Tae Bo class.

20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????

23. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

24. The Terminator is your new governor

[EZ_TribalGeek]

On the body piercing thing. It isn't just californa and I will probably be there some day.

[EZ_nekoken]

Three shots to the head should be sufficient. Wasting ammo is a sin. Well, it is in my religion at least.

Narsse Nekoken

[EZ_Ciba]

Quote:glock only has a 10 round magazine? If it was a southerner, there would have been one chambered..hehe

Any true southerner would, of course, own pre-ban magazines.

[EZ_Dahne]

Quote:2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

True. Not even an exaggeration.

Quote: 11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

I thought that was everywhere.

Quote:18. Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH 2004."

VERY true. "Augh! There's WATER falling from THE SKY!"

[Kelthana]

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

And one mother is your sister!

[EZ_NegBB]

"And you can't remember: Is Pot Illegal?"


Cocaine is one helluva drug.

[DarkOmen42]

Quote:I thought that was everywhere.

I only see police chases on those specials, I have seen one live chase. That was on Fox News Channel one day when there was nothing on so the last 10 minutes of the "Fox Report" was a live police chase in LA, was kinda cool. Hara

[Meddik]

I know that LA is bad about showing Car Chases (Probably most major metropolitan areas where each network affiliate has multiple helicopters), I don't think I've ever seen one Here. A couple of the local stations have helicopters, but It would cost way too much to justify that sort of expense for a few minutes of news footage.

[Wotan]

This joke was originally circulated in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq. I didn't find it amusing because the subtext is the same as the lies that were being used as a pretext for war: namely that Iraq was an imminent threat to the U.S. Who looks more sensible when you find out it was really a rubber knife, and the stray gunfire has maimed and killed innocent bystanders?

Ponzi's reply had me chuckling though.

[EZ_Ciba]

I don't know the true origins of this, so I can't confirm or deny what wotan says. I do know I work with a lot of people that are irrationally anti-gun. This is funny because it's true, at least for the dems I know.

[EZ_Pedric Cuf]

I thought the original joke was contrived and boring. =/

Some funny responses, though.

And we don't have high speed car chases in Kansas. Just runaway cropdusters. =O