And for the ones who aren't, how old were you when you lost yours?
I'm just trying to figure out if I'm normal or not, being 21, good looking, yet a virgin.
I feel like I should be running around making it with every "hot babe" in sight, being in the "prime of my life" and all that.
Thing is, I've always wanted to wait until I'm in love with a girl, just so it would be special the first time. I never fell in love with any girls. Not a one. I've had an opportunity or three with other girls in the past, and simply let them pass like a fool. Until this past year, when I finally met a girl that I fell in love with.
She's something else....I love her very very very much. I wish she loved me as much. We were very close, but after a time she moved away, and we never, umm, did it did it. And with our relationship the way it is as of now I don't think we will still be romantic when/if she comes back.
It's been a little while since then, and I'm starting to rethink my want for holding off. I've been in love with one girl ever, and honestly? I can't see myself having those feelings again for a good long time. AND I'm starting to feel like I could die at any moment, having never thrown my mack down, and that would be a shame.
Yep. 21. Soon to be 22. Tell me I'm not abnormal.
This was going to be in the rant hall, but I thought it'd be better off here. Gah!
Edit: Clarified my stance on needing to be in love.
At 21, if I would have been a virgin, I would have wondered the same thing. Now, at 32, I can tell you that while you may be a definite minority, you're perfectly normal. Wait for that girl to come back, it might be the best decision you ever make. And if it isn't, well then you've got plenty of time and plenty of women ahead of you. Sex isn't the end all be all like some people make it out, everything else you do leading up to it and after it is the fun part.
I turn 24 in July. I've had a few opportunities pass me by. My friends say "dude, just find anyone and get it over with!" Nah. I'm waiting for the right person too. Do I think I'll end up settling down and marrying her and being with her forever? No idea... do I "have" to do that? No. Just waiting for the right person, the right place, the right time.
Oh, simple answer... Yes, I'm a virgin, and almost 24. It bothers me daily that I haven't found the righr person, not that I'm a virgin. :)
Eh, don't sweat it. Like Boddi said, you're in the minority, but you're not abnormal. I'm 19, still a virgin and never really had any opportunities. But that's not surprising when you spend all your waking hours just going to school and playing video games. It's just something that'll happen in its own time, I believe.
I think Psi has a very good attitude on the subject. Just know that you're not abnormal and not alone and go about your daily life.
I did it when I was 15. I really wanted to avoid attaching any emotional significance to my "first time", so I kind of got it out of the way. It makes it alot easier to have more casual relationships if you aren't glued to a girl because you lost your virginity to her.
18, loosing mine was actually kind of a b-day present my friend set up for me. We were planning on going camping and she was having a friend come down from seattle, apparently her friend had seen pictures of me and thought I was hot, who was also a virgin. So her showing up late to camping and with me already drunk as hell=lost virginity. We did it the next three days and I haven't seen her since. I liked it and am kind of glad I lost it that way as it was her first and mine.
Your not abnormal though, one of my roomies is about to turn 21 and has only kissed one girl and even basically forced himself on her when she was trashed. Its kind of annoying, he is way too uptight about trying to get laid. Just relax and live life. Personally if I were you I would do it with probably about anyone who looked decent but, I'm not, so do what you want and it will work out best in the end.
My boss just told me to get hooker, get it over with, and expense it.
I have the best boss ever.
That or he was just being sympathetic or showing pity. Or he could be the best ever.
For me, I was in high school, and it was neither a get it over incident, nor was it a "OMGZ!!! I'm SOOOOOOOOO in love with him" kinda thing, though considering I'm a female, it was the latter more than the former. Any woman that says their first time was the best ever is either, delusional, was drunk when it happened, or have never actually done it.
Only promotion would be owner. Which is her. I'm already the only manager in the company.
And trust me, you don't think I tried to do her yet? Sheesh, it's me.
Perhaps if you mention the pooper aspect? =P
I was 17 with my girlfriend of 3-4 months at the time. It was very special to me but i guess thats pretty rare. I was sort of surprised how non-awkward it was (for me at least, never really asked her. Go, go, self-absorbance)
I wouldnt say that youre abnormal at all. Ive always been one to stick to my guns (re. stubborn as hell) and i had the same idea as you of waiting for somebody i loved. Just go with what you feel is right. Sometimes we may have doubts but ultimately you know wha suits you best. I know its generic advice but thats honestly all i can tell you. You'll figure it out, im sure.
I'm a virgin at 19 and a good looking guy. I decided way back that I was going to wait until I was married and so did my girlfriend. Since both of us had made the same decision, it has made things pretty easy on us both.
From my point of view, it seems like there are so many things that can go wrong if you have sex before then. If you wait, then there isn't anything to worry about.
If you aren't really interested in waiting, then I would say to try and take things nice an easy. A guy looking for sex is just as obvious as a girl on the prowl for marrage... and people avoid both.
I just though of a really horrible joke to put here, but I don't want to get in trouble. Can I do it if I put it in a spoiler? :D
easier to ask forgiveness than permission. just do it!
i was 21 when i lost mine. it'll happen when it happens. i dont think its a big, earth shattering life changing experience, but its definitely something i wouldnt have wanted to throw away in some drunken house party with some girl whose name i didnt know (not that i ever had any opportunities, maybe it would have been different if i had). it meant more to me than that, and still does. maybe its my overall lack of experience, but its still a pretty big thing for me to sleep with a girl, just in regard to level of intimacy. to be that close to someone is pretty amazing for me.
I'm curious...for you guys, was it really just a "eh I'm just gonna get it over with" much like taking the SATs or was it more like, "I'm gettin' laid!" like yeah! I'm gettin' some? I don't know very many guys (if any) who dreaded their first time to where they'd say, "just got it done and over with" as if they're throwing out their first pair of jock strap, but to most of them there just wasn't much thought into it, it was more like, "woot, I'm finally gettin' some!" They didn't exactly have the "it's about time I got rid of it" mentality but again, it was more like, "oh yeah baby, I'm gettin' some!" I think I might've known 1 person who actually said, "well I'm in no rush to hang on to my virginity" and he was gay so I take that as a minor exemption.
I was 19, with my then-future (now current) husband.
This might sound dumb, but we hit it off right off the bat. I was studing for a Psychology exam and my friend Dave called me on the phone (friend as in ladder theory friend), and said this guy needed some Magic cards that I had (yes, M:TG) and I didn't want to go over. He called and called, finally I went over just to get it over with. And there was this cute guy, with black-brown hair and dark blue eyes. Rawr.
I had totally given up on men like a month earlier. Hadn't shaved my legs at all, maybe hadn't showered in a couple of days. Figures, I find true love when I look like a slob
My first time was completely spontaneous. I was 19, we clicked pretty well, and wound up dating for 2 and a half years after that. Late in the relationship he started thinking that we'd done "it" too soon, that we should have dated for a while first... meh.
After that, it seems that I have a tendancy to start relationships by seeing if the guy is any good in the sack before I make any sort of commitment, because I've done that twice afterwards...
World of Warcraft: Delissandra - Blood Elf Rogue (retired) - Feathermoon
EverQuest: Delissandra Splitshadow - 75 Rogue (retired) - The Rathe
City of Heroes: Splitshadow - Scrapper (retired) - Victory
Many of us seem to have age in common... I was 19.
An acquaintance of mine recently got married... his wife is 37 and was a virgin on their wedding night. He bragged about it too... I just wanted to say "Dude, it's not like she was waiting because she wanted to... she was waiting because she's a giant biotch and nobody likes her". I give their marriage 2 years tops.
When I was in jr high I got burnt bad by rejection and for all general purposes lost interest in the opposite sex. Over the next few years my friends always gave me a rough time for habitually passing up on countless interested parties that, while many I knew to be attractive, just didn't do anything for me beyond being minimally flattered.
Several years later an online friend that I'd known for a couple years was visiting so we went out, just to hang out. We talked, hung out, totally friendly. I wasn't even thinking about sex. Lo and behold by the time the end of the night came we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Over the next few months we talked alot about it and the next time we met (several months later) was when it happened.
Even though the break-off of our emotional relationship was really rough, we're still friends and she holds a special place in my heart
At 19, after 3 months with the girlfriend. She's been my first for EVERYTHING. Kiss, sex, and everything in between. God bless her for being understanding, although I think she appreciates it every time she ends up *ahem* shaking with pleasure (no screaming, no sound). It's a beautiful thing. And I'm in the first time was awesome group, although the second time, when we had to finally stop because she was so exhausted, was a rather nice ego booster.
20, still a virgin. I wouldn't consider myself hott by any stretch of the word, but I think I am decently good-looking. And to top it all off I go to what used to be the #1 party school in the nation...
Given enough time, everything will eventually begin to suck.
One of my husbands friends used e-harmony. <He had 2 failed marriages before> Hes been married now for 2 years and they just had a baby. I am suprised that its lasted this long but I guess this time knowing a few things about the person was a good thing.
*shudder* Those Eharmony adds never fail to irritate me. They've always come across as snotty and pretentious, plus A) they only do monogamous heterosexual relationships, and B) you should never trust anyone with three first names. ;p
- - - Amadan, Rizona, et al. - Argent Dawn
Amadan - Tunare (ret.) ...or much better yet, tell me something dangerous and true...