As a cushion for the box in which my iPhone arrived yesterday, I was treated to one of those little plastic air bags emblazoned with three ideograms that seem unintentionally hilarious to me.

So...what do these three ideograms represent to you?

My favorite is the third one, which apparently advises against babies sleeping.

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Well, the first one obviously is telling you not to get your hole wet.
The second one is a warning to keep your hands off your balls.
The third is either to beware of marshmallow-headed midgets or the logo of Babybusters.

Apple, tree hugging capitalist hippies, or secret morality police?

But they're using plastic packaging!

Quite clear to me that I should not use life preservers, never let my daughter have any fun, and should make her sleep on the hard ground.

In the event of a water landing, this device may not be used for personal flotation.

Nor will this device provide any source of entertainment.

This device makes an unsuitable pillow.

1. Don't let your child play with this in the water.

2. In fact, don't let your child play with this at all.

3. You know what? Just don't have kids, period.

Seems like it would make an excellent pillow for a baby.

1. Cutting donuts in half can make you look like a complete pansy. Don't do it.

2. Decapitating your friend and painting white stripes on his head is frowned upon.

3. The body snatchers get you when you're sleeping.

I think that's about my previous job. No sleep, no fun, and no life preserver for rats leaving the sinking ship.

It's funny, if I opened my iPhone on a long plane ride with my daughter, I'd probably do all three of those things (provided we had to make a water landing).

I was shipping some stuff out at work today and someone had left all these inflatable bags strewn about. I take a closer look and lo and behold, the same pictures. sorry, don't have a pic though.