We're all philosophers in the same way we're all artists. Some of us take it quite seriously and do it well. For the rest of us, it's just something to do between sips of beer. -Wraine
At the annual Nickelodeon upfront presentation last week, über-producer Michael Bay revealed details for Platinum Dunes’ upcoming live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, including a new origin story for the half-shell heroes that is sure to raise the ire of diehard fans.
“When you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie,” said Bay as he took the stage to discuss his new vision for the reptilian reboot. “These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable.”
In the original mythology, four baby turtles fall into the sewer and come into contact with glowing radioactive ooze, which mutates them into four bad-ass warriors trained in ninjutsu by astute rodent Splinter. But could the rewriting of the Turtles’ origin story dissuade some fans from embracing the newest incarnation? A comic book-to-movie adaptation’s worst nightmare is bad pre-publicity, and Bay may have generated that in about 30 words.
On the flip side, it might seem outrageous to non-fans of the series that Teenage Mutant Ninja purists are offended by the new mythos of Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo. Truth, we might sound a wee bit ridiculous when we cry out, “I can’t believe Bay says they’re aliens when they’re obviously derived from radioactive slime!” But Bay is essentially erasing almost 30 years of love for transmogrified adolescent reptile ninjas by claiming each turtle is less of a fearsome, fighting toxic anomaly and more of a forest green E.T. with nunchucks.
Yeah no, this is garbage. But itll be huge because kids want to see big explosions and cool special effects. Michael Bay is becoming the *** **** of the US. Except you know... his movies make a TON of money.
MAYBE THEY CAN USE ALIEN LASERGUNS AND SPLINTER CAN BE ANOTHER ALIEN FROM THE PLANET RATTO AND THEY HIDE IN THE SEWERS BECAUSE THE SUN IS DANGEROUS TO THEIR ALIEN KIND
I mean, if we can all step back from being insane fanboys for a second. It's actually not any stupider than their REAL origin.
Of the two main taglines for this story, "Ninja Turtles now aliens" is actually far less offensive to me than "Michael Bay making TMNT movie".
I loved the cartoon intro, seeing innocent little baby turtles get mutated into badass teenage mutant ninja turtles.
So yes, it does make a difference to me. It implies they were never turtles to begin with, as any species from another planet could not be turtles by definition.
I mean, if we can all step back from being insane fanboys for a second. It's actually not any stupider than their REAL origin.
I can let go of my childhood enjoyment of TMNT, bad movies and all. But basic title/content agreement? That's going to take some serious head trauma to let go of.
I didn't even read the news article on CNN when I saw it, I knew it was going to be ****. Now I can add a facepalm to that. I think Bay has decided the internet can suck it and now he's just intentionally goading people.
chmod said:
I don't want to live in a world where there are no consequences for being stupid. A few thousand years ago these users would have been eaten by lions.
I mean, if we can all step back from being insane fanboys for a second. It's actually not any stupider than their REAL origin.
Of the two main taglines for this story, "Ninja Turtles now aliens" is actually far less offensive to me than "Michael Bay making TMNT movie".
It IS dumber than the real origin by virtue of the existance of a real origin. Changing a cornerstone detail of a 30 year IP is dumber than the IP being dumb from the beginning. Additionally, it takes a true ****ing egomaniac to actually do it.
I do however agree that "Michael Bay makes TMNT movie" is worse than "Ninja Turtles are Aliens." Unfortunatly, in this case they are both true, which is horrific.
"Injijo invented sitting down. " - Ben Franklin, 1785
It IS dumber than the real origin by virtue of the existance of a real origin. Changing a cornerstone detail of a 30 year IP is dumber than the IP being dumb from the beginning. Additionally, it takes a true ****ing egomaniac to actually do it.
I do however agree that "Michael Bay makes TMNT movie" is worse than "Ninja Turtles are Aliens." Unfortunatly, in this case they are both true, which is horrific.
The Ninja Turtles are not aliens. Why? Because they were created by the same accident that gave Daredevil his powers. Of course, Daredevil was never named, but it was done intentionally. Remember that the comics were started as a parody of the genre.
Also, the new comic book series kick ass. Seriously. Check them out. The origin is slightly changed, but it still works.
I haven't seen Uwe Boll lately - are we sure he hasn't killed Michael Bay and is wearing him like a suit?
For the record, if anyone makes a movie with that plot I'd be interested in seeing it if only to figure out if anyone would ever catch on to our pro/antagonist's little skinsuit secret. In the directors edition I'm sure no one would and the creature would go on to receive an Oscar and replace script writers with 11 year old kids on a sugar high without anyone ever suspecting or caring. But I'm sure the theatrical would have him uncovered, slain and then a happy ending with sunshine, exploding rainbows and slo-mo rain of kittens at the end.
The Ninja Turtles are not aliens. Why? Because they were created by the same accident that gave Daredevil his powers. Of course, Daredevil was never named, but it was done intentionally. Remember that the comics were started as a parody of the genre.
Also, the new comic book series kick ass. Seriously. Check them out. The origin is slightly changed, but it still works.
omg... Daredevil is an alien! It all makes sense now.
MAYBE THEY CAN USE ALIEN LASERGUNS AND SPLINTER CAN BE ANOTHER ALIEN FROM THE PLANET RATTO AND THEY HIDE IN THE SEWERS BECAUSE THE SUN IS DANGEROUS TO THEIR ALIEN KIND
I think they should hide in the sewers because sunlight makes their skin sparkle.
Also, turning them into aliens is stupid, but I'm not getting mad because, despite my love for them as a child, I now realize that they were nothing but poorly animated toy commercials. You may try to defend them by bringing up the original edgy black and white comics, but I, and 99.9999% of the kids who were into them had no clue they, or any other underground indie comic books existed.
Maybe they should call it Adult Alien Ninja Turtloids to avoid copyright infringement issues?
Adult Alien Hero Turtloids. But then why bother using the IP in the first place if you're going to change everything?
Bay has spoken up with a post on his website, noting:
“Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of ‘Ninja Turtles’ to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world."
So yeah dudes, just chill! He's just 'building a richer world'! So the teenage mutant ninja turtles are going to be neither mutants or turtles - the script is awesome! We've allocated $50 million for explosions, and a crisp $100 bill for the writing team!
Ok, I can excuse the Transformers thing, mostly because I didn't give a damn about the plot only big robots and **** blowing up. This however makes me cringe...
"Forums: You have to form your opinions immediately based on jack s*it then fight them to the death! It's like Highlander, but instead of swords we use ignorance."
So yeah dudes, just chill! He's just 'building a richer world'! So the teenage mutant ninja turtles are going to be neither mutants or turtles - the script is awesome! We've allocated $50 million for explosions, and a crisp $100 bill for the writing team!
You're right. What the **** were we thinking ever doubting Michael Bay? The man's more than proven how much he loves and honors classic IPs. You can't fade his track record!
It implies they were never turtles to begin with, as any species from another planet could not be turtles by definition.
That may be true in science, but it's not even remotely true in fiction. A Kilrathi is an alien, but it's still clearly a tiger man. I mean, Usagi Yojimbo is still clearly a rabbit and he comes from a different dimension.
Ponzi said:
Also, turning them into aliens is stupid, but I'm not getting mad because, despite my love for them as a child, I now realize that they were nothing but poorly animated toy commercials. You may try to defend them by bringing up the original edgy black and white comics
Or the 2000s cartoon, which was also awesome.
Ruccus said:
Adult Alien Hero Turtloids.
I still don't see how alien is in any way mutually exclusive with any of the four words in the title. Being an alien doesn't prevent them from being teenagers, trained in ninjitsu, or turtles. They could also still be mutants of their own species.
I think they should hide in the sewers because sunlight makes their skin sparkle.
Also, turning them into aliens is stupid, but I'm not getting mad because, despite my love for them as a child, I now realize that they were nothing but poorly animated toy commercials. You may try to defend them by bringing up the original edgy black and white comics, but I, and 99.9999% of the kids who were into them had no clue they, or any other underground indie comic books existed.
What about those of us who do remember the original comic books? Or like me who still have the PNP RPG based off of the original comics? Which was also completely awesome!
The origin story for the turtles is part of their coolness. I don't see why it needs to be changed. If there were a reason to change the origin to make it flow I could get it, but I see no need for this change.
Ah yes Palladium TMNT RPG. So much fun.
And yeah I have issues 5-50 of the original TMNT run... such fun comics.
And btw, all the headbands should be RED.
What about those of us who do remember the original comic books? Or like me who still have the PNP RPG based off of the original comics? Which was also completely awesome!
What about me that can still recite most of the Turtle Power rap from memory? ... Yeah, I wish I was making that up.
PS: FWIW, the character creation from the TMNT RPG was pretty fun.
FYI - All further statements like the one above should be phrased is some sort of variant of "Totally Awesome Dude". "Cowabunga" is also an acceptable substitute.
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“Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of ‘Ninja Turtles’ to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world."
I love this quote. It sounds like Bay actually thinks people should trust him of all people to 'build a rich world'. Almost as if he is completely unaware of his explosions-first story-last film making reputation. I used to think he was just a hack, but now I think he may actually have a mental condition.
I propose that they be called "Teenage Alien Invader Ninja Turtles".
I hate you because this was the exact thought I had and you beat me to it, but I also respect you for it as well.
"So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect."
I'll just leave this here...
Deflagration - Ungiggity - Jointpaper - Pö - Proctologist - Fantastical - Pandarica WoW - L a s t R i t e s - Firetree Too many to play, too little time to do it.
In the revamp the guys work for a secret government agency tasked with capturing ectoplasmic aliens from the planet Ghostron who access our planet through unstable transspacic wormholes and are seeking the plasmatrix that will allow them to wipe our race off the planet. Instead of lame grey uniforms the guys will be wearing totally awesome cool black carbonfiber spectric battle armor and will all be played by similar looking guys in their early 20s, their backgrounds will be like ex-SEAL or Special Forces and they pose as college students to disguise their unit's real underground high tech base. One of them will have a pregnant wife to add character and ****. Don't worry though, to keep it accessible to the teenage crowd we will have a visiting high school student who is unaware he has the map to the plasmatrix and gets dragged into all of this. It will be totally kick ass.... trust me.
PS: on a completely and totally unrelated subject, honest, anyone have Michael Bay's email address? I'm absolutely not asking because I have ideas for revamping ALL of our childhood franchises or heroes. It's just... something else. That's really cool. Honest.
In the revamp the guys work for a secret government agency tasked with capturing ectoplasmic aliens from the planet Ghostron who access our planet through unstable transspacic wormholes and are seeking the plasmatrix that will allow them to wipe our race off the planet. Instead of lame grey uniforms the guys will be wearing totally awesome cool black carbonfiber spectric battle armor and will all be played by similar looking guys in their early 20s, their backgrounds will be like ex-SEAL or Special Forces and they pose as college students to disguise their unit's real underground high tech base. One of them will have a pregnant wife to add character and ****. Don't worry though, to keep it accessible to the teenage crowd we will have a visiting high school student who is unaware he has the map to the plasmatrix and gets dragged into all of this. It will be totally kick ass.... trust me.
You forgot about the fact that the wife is pregnant with a half-ghost baby. Sequel, anyone?
Hell... They could revamp Danny Phantom with that story too! Tie both franchises together! Wouldn't that be awesome?
"Teenage Alien Turtles Who Happen To Be Trained In Ancient Human Combat Style known As Ninjutsu" is sure going to be hard to work into the opening theme song.....
In the revamp the guys work for a secret government agency tasked with capturing ectoplasmic aliens from the planet Ghostron who access our planet through unstable transspacic wormholes and are seeking the plasmatrix that will allow them to wipe our race off the planet. Instead of lame grey uniforms the guys will be wearing totally awesome cool black carbonfiber spectric battle armor and will all be played by similar looking guys in their early 20s, their backgrounds will be like ex-SEAL or Special Forces and they pose as college students to disguise their unit's real underground high tech base. One of them will have a pregnant wife to add character and ****. Don't worry though, to keep it accessible to the teenage crowd we will have a visiting high school student who is unaware he has the map to the plasmatrix and gets dragged into all of this. It will be totally kick ass.... trust me.
PS: on a completely and totally unrelated subject, honest, anyone have Michael Bay's email address? I'm absolutely not asking because I have ideas for revamping ALL of our childhood franchises or heroes. It's just... something else. That's really cool. Honest.
PS: on a completely and totally unrelated subject, honest, anyone have Michael Bay's email address? I'm absolutely not asking because I have ideas for revamping ALL of our childhood franchises or heroes. It's just... something else. That's really cool. Honest.
I could be wrong but I think it may be michael.bay@hell.org if that's not right try .net, or .gov.
Yeah, I wish I was making that up.
